Here is a lovely little video with stills and some film, made by a wombtwin survivor.
Click here to view
Her grandma said she cried and cried as a baby.......
If you see any more features like this, do let me know thanks.
When a twin dies before birth, the sole survivor needs help and understanding. Womb twin survivors are the sole survivors of a twin or multiple pregnancy. This group, 1 in 10 of the population, includes survivors of a stillbirth, miscarriage, abortion and a "vanishing twin" pregnancy. It is a story of a twin bond broken by death, leaving a lonely survivor.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
Prebirth experiences and mental illness
Stress in early pregnancy linked to schizophrenia.
Yes here we go again; I missed this one, as it was in February and I was busy collecting stories, but today a quick browse found this link to some research connecting difficult intrauterine experiences for a foetus and the eventual psychology of the born child.
Of course these scientists missed an important element: one in 8 pregnancies are multiple at first.
Stress in pregnancy compromises the pregnancy and can cause the loss of the entire pregnancy. How obvious that stress in early pregnancy would have an effect on the born child! The survivor of such an experience (stress hormones from Mum passing via the placenta through the blood supply of the foetus,) would most probably be a wombtwin survivor. Hence etc....
What a different result we would see if such research factored in the vanished twin! Then we would see that the symptoms we call " schizophrenia" are a completely normal reaction to an intense and very difficult prebirth experience.
There are a couple of stories in A Silent Cry of the mis-diagnosis of schizophrenia, and I have spoken of this before on this blog, in connection with the eight years that Janet Frame spent in mental hospital hell. Maybe things will change when these stories are made available. I do hope so!
Yes here we go again; I missed this one, as it was in February and I was busy collecting stories, but today a quick browse found this link to some research connecting difficult intrauterine experiences for a foetus and the eventual psychology of the born child.
Of course these scientists missed an important element: one in 8 pregnancies are multiple at first.
Stress in pregnancy compromises the pregnancy and can cause the loss of the entire pregnancy. How obvious that stress in early pregnancy would have an effect on the born child! The survivor of such an experience (stress hormones from Mum passing via the placenta through the blood supply of the foetus,) would most probably be a wombtwin survivor. Hence etc....
What a different result we would see if such research factored in the vanished twin! Then we would see that the symptoms we call " schizophrenia" are a completely normal reaction to an intense and very difficult prebirth experience.
There are a couple of stories in A Silent Cry of the mis-diagnosis of schizophrenia, and I have spoken of this before on this blog, in connection with the eight years that Janet Frame spent in mental hospital hell. Maybe things will change when these stories are made available. I do hope so!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
A Silent Cry is now complete!
Just to let you all know that the anthology was dispatched today on CD to Lightning Source UK. I have moved the publication date to Monday 30th June, because I have been getting stressed out with the time pressure. Pre -publication copies will be available at the conference and the contributors copies may be sent out in advance of that date. We'll see how it goes.
Just to let you know: to buy this book (after June 30th) go to the Wren Publications site where we have a credit card facility (and a special ordering page for members and contributors, who get a 30% discount.)
Exhausted now, but triumphant. Thanks to everyone who contributed, sorry to those who were not able to be in it. Thanks to Richard who, just two days ago, sent me some much-needed editing advice: a major last-minute overhaul took place as a result, but I'm very happy with it now! Its a great deal more professional looking than UNTWINNED, but this is how we learn, one step at a time.
Just to let you know: to buy this book (after June 30th) go to the Wren Publications site where we have a credit card facility (and a special ordering page for members and contributors, who get a 30% discount.)
Exhausted now, but triumphant. Thanks to everyone who contributed, sorry to those who were not able to be in it. Thanks to Richard who, just two days ago, sent me some much-needed editing advice: a major last-minute overhaul took place as a result, but I'm very happy with it now! Its a great deal more professional looking than UNTWINNED, but this is how we learn, one step at a time.
Friday, May 16, 2008
The identical twin bond
On the wombtwin forum [take a look here] there has been some discussion about the twin bond, formed in the womb. Now there does seem to be some research that says that the identical twin bond is stronger than the fraternal twin bond, in that separated identical twins, meeting for the first time after a lifetime, are bonded to each other within seconds, whereas separated fraternal twins sometimes meet as strangers, and occasionally fall in love and want to marry each other, which causes a lot of legal problems. The bond is strong, but not the same as with an identical twin.
As a surviving fraternal twin myself, this is something I have neglected in my work with wombtwin survivors. We need new ways to help lone identical twins.
A good suggestion is the surrogate twin. This is an idea that came to be from the USA. It seems that if two lone surviving identical twins of the same sex adopt one another, this is healing for them both. This is not a homosexual relationship: this is a spiritual connection and is made for the sole purpose of supporting one another through the healing process.
Here is a little quote from a story in The Silent Cry;
As a surviving fraternal twin myself, this is something I have neglected in my work with wombtwin survivors. We need new ways to help lone identical twins.
A good suggestion is the surrogate twin. This is an idea that came to be from the USA. It seems that if two lone surviving identical twins of the same sex adopt one another, this is healing for them both. This is not a homosexual relationship: this is a spiritual connection and is made for the sole purpose of supporting one another through the healing process.
Here is a little quote from a story in The Silent Cry;
Together my adopted twin and I are growing into our individuality
so that someday we will be soul friends, more so than twins.
so that someday we will be soul friends, more so than twins.
Do any readers want to comment on this?
Has anyone tried this idea? Did it work or not?
Has anyone tried this idea? Did it work or not?
Monday, May 12, 2008
Where next?
As the anthology is nearing completion and, barring some insuperable problem, will be published on June 17th; as the conference is now (almost!) fully booked and there are just a few more things to arrange; I ask myself - where next?
The idea that is uppermost in my mind is to spread these ideas around the world. I can't take them there but they can take root where they will. If you are reading this and you live in the USA, Canada or Australia, and you have the kind of personality that says "Lets do it!" then email me privately on althea@altheahayton.com. I am not sure how we do it exactly, but this is the time to discuss how we can form independent branches of Wombtwin.com Ltd in every corner of the world.
The idea that is uppermost in my mind is to spread these ideas around the world. I can't take them there but they can take root where they will. If you are reading this and you live in the USA, Canada or Australia, and you have the kind of personality that says "Lets do it!" then email me privately on althea@altheahayton.com. I am not sure how we do it exactly, but this is the time to discuss how we can form independent branches of Wombtwin.com Ltd in every corner of the world.
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Parents: do they damage their children?
One disturbing aspect of working with wombtwin survivors for me, has been the level of resentment against one or both parents, as if they were responsible for all one's pain and distress and indeed one's psychological problems. Sigmund Freud, not having access to wombtwin theory of course, as little was know about life before birth at that time, assumed that psychological problems were due to sexual abuse. Great, thanks.
However those who came later seem to have looked a little wider and the idea that psychological problems begin in childhood was quickly established and remains central to all psychotherapies, expect of course pre and perinatal psychotherapy, but that's a story for another time.
If one is full of resentment and looking for a place to put it, what better than Mum and Dad? Philip Larkin, ( a wombtwin survivor if ever there was one!) wrote plenty of dark, self-indulgent poetry and blamed his parents for his pain. He wrote the famous : "They F*** oyu up, your Mum and Dad. " see the rest here.
Well I have revised this poem and invite your comments;
However those who came later seem to have looked a little wider and the idea that psychological problems begin in childhood was quickly established and remains central to all psychotherapies, expect of course pre and perinatal psychotherapy, but that's a story for another time.
If one is full of resentment and looking for a place to put it, what better than Mum and Dad? Philip Larkin, ( a wombtwin survivor if ever there was one!) wrote plenty of dark, self-indulgent poetry and blamed his parents for his pain. He wrote the famous : "They F*** oyu up, your Mum and Dad. " see the rest here.
Well I have revised this poem and invite your comments;
Larkin about
They take the rap, your Mum and Dad-
They do not mean to, but they do.
They fill up with the faults you had
And take the blame for love of you.
But they were carried in their turn
By folks with quite a different brain,
And half the time tried to be firm
And half the time took on your pain.
Child hands on misery to Mum
And lets Dad carry all the shit.
Then he or she is innocent:
And that's about the size of it.
They take the rap, your Mum and Dad-
They do not mean to, but they do.
They fill up with the faults you had
And take the blame for love of you.
But they were carried in their turn
By folks with quite a different brain,
And half the time tried to be firm
And half the time took on your pain.
Child hands on misery to Mum
And lets Dad carry all the shit.
Then he or she is innocent:
And that's about the size of it.
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