Out of your Beta space!

I am editing Nick Owens talk as an audio file for the site and one of the questions has brought something to light for me: the "Alpha" twin who survives and the "Beta" twin who does not. The wombtwin survivor (in particular the identical wombtwin survivor) lives them both out.

The wombtwin survivor has two modes of being: in one (the Alpha space) he or she is the active, strong survivor, with cognitive capacity, agency and mastery. In the other, (the Beta space) he or she is the torpid, weak, lost twin, in a state of cognitive incapacity, helplessness and dependency.

The question at the conference was: "When you wake up in your Beta space, how do you get out of it?"

It's a big problem, because the sense of helpless incapacity that characterises the Beta space tends to hold you there is a state of spiritual paralysis.

It's as if the Dream of the Womb is rendered all-powerful and all-consuming, eclipsing any sense of normal existence. Drenched in that sense of total lifelessness, the survivor is rendered unable to function normally and is left unable to make choices or decisions, to act or to make anything happen. This is a state of mind that is similar to clinical depression, but may never be diagnosed at such. A more likely diagnosis is bi-polar disorder, for the Alpha state and the Beta state are so different from one another.

For the Beta state does pass. Antidepressants, therapy, strong social pressure and other outside influences may force one out of the Beta state into something that passes for an Alpha state - at least something a bit more functional and active. Yet there is always the risk that the Dream will come again and eclipse the Alpha energy once more, and the will to live is gone once more.

So how to get back that will to live? There seems to be several ways to do this.

Recapture Alpha energy
As you lie there unable to get up and get on with life, you can cast your mind back to a time when you were active, masterful and clever. You were the Alpha survivor then and that capacity is still within you. Catch hold of that energy and use it to get out of bed.

Increase activity
Just do something. Get up; wash; make a cup of coffee. Walk; run. Anything. Give yourself examples of how active you truly are; how alive you are. By simple activities, rediscover your Alpha energy.

Notice when you enter the Dream
Notice how the negative Beta energy swamps you. As you sit there, feeling eclipsed, notice that this is your Dream of the Womb. In the Dream you are closest to your lost twin. You are in the Dream because you want to be there. This is a deliberate choice. In the Dream you are not alone. As you recreate the Dream you pretend to be a zombie: dead yet alive. But this is not true, this is just a Dream, formed out of love and longing.

Be prepared to leave the Dream
It's your choice - to live the life you have been given - a great gift!- or to go on living the Dream.

How would you choose?

Wombtwin conference is LIVE!!

Well after two weeks of struggling with iMovie for Mac, we have four short edited videos of the wombtwin conference.

You can see them on the website here. Click the names at the side to get to the individual pages.

I have also uploaded them onto UTube ( where they come out a bit bigger but more blurry.)

I have made a wombtwin survivors group on Utube, so if you want to join, upload your own videos.

The next step is the transcripts: dont hold your breath for those, but they will come.....

How we know that Sam Vaknin is an identical wombtwin survivor

 This web site is ENORMOUS. It belongs to Sam Vaknin.  He is so narcissistic that he thinks he knows more than anyone else on the Internet about narcissism. That's pretty stupid for a start - but then Narcissus finds extremely subtle and clever ways to be extremely foolish ( and no one is to laugh........) 

He is full of rage, pain, hurt and a sense of betrayal that seems to have nowhere to sit.  He says that the "narcissists mother is abusive", ie. that narcissism is caused by the parents.  What actually happens is that narcissistic children arrive in this world with a sense of entitlement, and loving parents soon become slaves if they don't watch out. I know, I've seen that happen.

As I have said before, the narcissistic person is divided within himself, and constantly fights with himself. Unless he is constantly responded to and reacted against (with praise or blame, its all one to him) he is terrified that he will cease to exist. His sense of existential doubt is so strong that he (or she) needs to create all kinds of chaos, noise and conflict just to keep the emotional temperature high enough to feed on and keep him alive as a player in the game of life..

He is constantly demanding but must need no one; he is cold and unemotional but full of seething rage. A wonderful paradox. Alpha and Beta all at once.

The list of characteristics that Sam comes out with as he continues his endless self examination, sounds exactly like an identical wombtwin survivor. Take a look and see.

The truth is that the a fear of inadequacy fuels all narcissistic behaviours.  Sooner than be thought inadequate by anyone, he (or she) will try to dominate everyone else, and expect to have everyone feed him (or her)in body, mind and soul. Here we have the little surviving identical twin, whose twin was lost very early and really did cease to exist - never came to much and was probably damaged in some way.

When will Sam Vakin realise the truth about himself? Probably never.  After all, if he really does want to be self-defeating, then learning, awakening and self growth will be the last thing on his mind. Meanwhile, we look on, amused - and trying not to laugh.