By means of the Eurostar train from St Pancras in London I discovered how near Belgium is. At the workshop venue, which is a therapy centre North of Gent, I also made a whole lot of new friends.
This was a group made up almost entirely of wombtwin survivors- a strange situation for those two who were not, among so many who were!
I found that the powerpoint presentation is certainly too detailed for a group of wombtwin survivors- they wanted a quick run through and to get on with the exercises. When we did start, I did something unusual: I divided the group according to whether they were identical fraternal or they werent sure - like a bit of both. Two were not sure if they were wombtwin survivors at all. I then asked each group to discuss what major psychological difficulties they shared, and it was differeht for each group. The fraternals had feelings of abandonment, the identicals problems with the Alpha and Beta twin and how that script was appearing in their lives, and the multiples wondered about the balance of gender energy within each one.
There are some exercises that seem to work well now I have had a chance to try them out: in one I make a circle of black cloth and this is the Black Hole, and they have to stand in the black hole and see how it feels and discuss how they are to get out of it and what would help. That does seem to clarify things for them.
I had a translator for the first day but the second day when we talked about the healing path and things were more difficult I asked that they use their own language and not keep translating for me. This seemed to help. We comunictaed well with little tips and simple suggestions and of course a hug at the end!
There was a substantial donation for wombtwin.com by the end of the weekend which I took in lieu of a fee. I took out the travel cost and handed the rest back to them and suggested that they open a bank account for their new organisation-to-be, "Wombtwin.be." This I hope will be the first of many such sister organisations, allied to wombtwin.com simply by the word WOMBTWIN in the title, using the same logo and having the same aims. I dont mind running the UK operation but I cant run the whole world! If the Belgian organisatioin takes off soon we will learn how to do this in the simplest and best way, and this will I hope provide a lead to others.
Any readers interested in setting up a local Wombtwin organisation in an other country of Europe or North America?
When a twin dies before birth, the sole survivor needs help and understanding. Womb twin survivors are the sole survivors of a twin or multiple pregnancy. This group, 1 in 10 of the population, includes survivors of a stillbirth, miscarriage, abortion and a "vanishing twin" pregnancy. It is a story of a twin bond broken by death, leaving a lonely survivor.
Monday, May 18, 2009
wombtwin workshops ( 1) PORTUGAL
Well, a bit of a gap in these postings but it has been busy in May!
To start with, a series of workshops in Portugal. I learned more about how to balance the presentation, rich in medical detail about the lost twin and also showing some of the research results to far, and the group workshops, which allow people to contact their feelings about their own lost twin and begin to find a way forward.
It seems to depend on the audience: if there is a room full of wombtwin survivors, they will probably be anxious to get on with a workshop, but if there are a lot of psychologists, social workers etc who are not wombtwin survivors themselves ( or if they are they dont want to consider that possibility) then they will be happy to stay theoretical. At the workshop in Lisbon this became clear: we stayed theoretical because there were not all that many wombtwin survivors, but we did have some time for exercises - emptiness; being alone; being abandoned.... among other things. The exercises ended up as a kind of dramatherapy mixed with dance and ritual-I make it up as I go along because this is something we have to explore intuitively rather than be too proscriptive. The survivors found it helpful and the observers were amazed at the strength of the feelings engendered by the exercises- it would seem to be good for both groups to mix them, after all.
The main idea that came forward from this delightful weekend with wonderful people was to help the young children who are wombtwin survivors. We heard a seven year old tell the story of her own lost twin in simple ideas and words, and this seems to be the perfect thing to do: to make a simple story book with lovely colourful images using this simple story.
We know that wombtwin survivors benefit from knowing why they feel as they do, but its very hard for parents to broach the subject with their child. A story book would seem to be the answer. Claudia (who will be known to you from the forum) is masterminding this project, so comments please either here or on the forum.
To start with, a series of workshops in Portugal. I learned more about how to balance the presentation, rich in medical detail about the lost twin and also showing some of the research results to far, and the group workshops, which allow people to contact their feelings about their own lost twin and begin to find a way forward.
It seems to depend on the audience: if there is a room full of wombtwin survivors, they will probably be anxious to get on with a workshop, but if there are a lot of psychologists, social workers etc who are not wombtwin survivors themselves ( or if they are they dont want to consider that possibility) then they will be happy to stay theoretical. At the workshop in Lisbon this became clear: we stayed theoretical because there were not all that many wombtwin survivors, but we did have some time for exercises - emptiness; being alone; being abandoned.... among other things. The exercises ended up as a kind of dramatherapy mixed with dance and ritual-I make it up as I go along because this is something we have to explore intuitively rather than be too proscriptive. The survivors found it helpful and the observers were amazed at the strength of the feelings engendered by the exercises- it would seem to be good for both groups to mix them, after all.
The main idea that came forward from this delightful weekend with wonderful people was to help the young children who are wombtwin survivors. We heard a seven year old tell the story of her own lost twin in simple ideas and words, and this seems to be the perfect thing to do: to make a simple story book with lovely colourful images using this simple story.
We know that wombtwin survivors benefit from knowing why they feel as they do, but its very hard for parents to broach the subject with their child. A story book would seem to be the answer. Claudia (who will be known to you from the forum) is masterminding this project, so comments please either here or on the forum.
Friday, May 08, 2009
A new book
Dr Brent Babcock has written a book about his healing journey as a wombtwin survivor. He told me today and I went to take a look.
Here is is on his new website www.vanishingtwin.com
Here is how to view and order the book via Tate Publishing click here
| My Twin Vanished: Did Yours? The Vanishing Twin Crisis by Dr. Brent H. Babcock "The deepest imprinting for the personality of a human develops in the womb. It is a little-known fact that one out of eight single births began as twins. Saddled with the loss of this ultimate relationship even before birth, tens of millions of Americans have gone in search of that relationship. In their searches, they become lost in dysfunctional cycles of addiction, abuse, sickness, mental illness, or suicide, without even knowing why. In My Twin Vanished, Dr. Brent Babcock shows that these painful and dysfunctional patterns can be traced back to the phenomenon of the vanished twin. This life-altering book connects the dots to life's questions for those who have been seeking answers without relief. Doctors, nurses, clergy, and counselors will find new understanding and answers in My Twin Vanished, as will all who unknowingly are surviving twins." I am so glad. With 600,000,000 wombtwin survivors in the world we cant have enough books n this subject! |
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