Tuesday, March 15, 2011

A fraternal womb twin survivor - co-dependency

There are various theories about why co-dependency develops in an individual, but none of them are clearer or more cogent than to say that co-dependent people are fraternal (dizygotic) womb twin survivors.. Over the next six days I will explain how co-dependent people are re-enacting their Dream of the Womb, wherein lies a little lost fraternal twin.

Here is one excellent example of how writers on this subject have got within a millimetre of diagnosing the problem according to the Womb Twin hypothesis but they didn't know about womb twin survivors, so they completely missed the point:

Love addictions come out of a neediness to be loved, which started when the young child was not loved and cared for in safe and supportive ways. Perhaps the baby was not wanted and picked up this message from the parents. Perhaps the child was criticized and scolded leaving her with a feeling of being flawed. Maybe she felt that she could never meet her parent's unrealistic expectations. Or decided that she was unworthy when she was rejected and abandoned by those she loved. All of these possibilities create insecurity and low self esteem in the child.

[What is the womb twin hypothesis? See here]

The codependent will try anything to help intimate relationships survive. [more]

Codependency is when a person has a strong desire to control people around them, including their spouse, children or co-workers. Codependents believe they are somehow more capable than others, who need their direction or suggestions to fulfill tasks they are responsible to complete. They feel compassion for people who may be hurting and feel they should be the one to help them. Codependent people give of their time, emotions, finances, and other resources. They have a very difficult time saying "no" to any requests made of them.

 Well, if the first bond ever created in your life, which was with your fraternal twin, was broken, would you as the sole survivor not be desperate to keep alive any intimate relationship you have in born life?

Nothing - not a full life nor an early death - would be more important than that. 

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