The narcissistic womb twin survivor (2) self-worth

The DSM criterion in this case is:

2)  is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love [see here]

SELF WORTH.  The fantasy of being the very best, most brilliant etc. This is a question of "self worth", which is of major importance to the MZ womb twin survivor.   They translate a slight uneasiness at being here at all (let alone inheriting all the womb space food etc when their twin died) into the issue of self worth.  Because deep down they feel undeserving, they must justify their existence and will insist that they are "worth it"  or they "deserve it."  The real situation, the real memory, is that they were the one to survive, when their twin did not, which means they truly were the strongest and fittest to survive. But that strength is now a major emotional issue.  Survivor guilt takes all the joy out  of it. Also, closely identified with their own Beta twin, the MZ womb twin survivor readily feels small, useless and "thrown away."

What a conflict! What a paradox! To know that at the very beginning of your life you truly were the superior one, yet in born life to feel as if you are not of any value at all. To carry these contradictory feelings all at the same time!  That is a difficult balance to maintain.

The only way to find balance is to try and excel at what you do and and make much of it, never letting anyone forget how wonderful you are, for fear they they will see the anxious little Beta face behind the Alpha mask.....