Tuesday, September 20, 2011

DZ survivors: the search for Something, but what?

Womb twin survivors (at least until they realise what is is they are looking for) spend a lot of time searching, but not knowing what for. And they will look in every place they can find, however  peculiar that may be.

One of the stories in the Silent Cry detailed 20 years of therapy, trying out a  different therapy for a while and then moving on, until at last the twin came into view and the person realised that it had always been a search for a lost twin.

The search for your womb twin probably have sent you here via a search engine, and there were probably many false starts.  Your arrival at this site marks the end of the very long and difficult journey of trying to understand why you have always had these strange feelings and ideas about yourself.  My own words during my fifty-year search for my womb twin was that I was "looking for a place to stand'". It was like I wanted to understand; to make some sense of my inner world, and then move on.  My father, who was a research scientist, loved to find a simple explanation or solution to a problem. I have been searching for that simple explanation all my life,  and how simple it is!

So here on this site is the help you need to unravel the truth of what you have been looking for so long:  your womb twin scenario.  Now is the time to assess what damage has occurred during the journey. The search has probably badly affected your ability to  build trusting relationships.

On the move
The result is that you engage in a series of relationships and get the occasional "fix" but in the longer term you never settle down or get close: you are always on the move.  You wander through life without any particular destination. The journey is the destination.

The womb twin survivor is searching but he doesn't want to find,  because if he finds then he believes that the whole thing will happen again. He is afraid to find because in the finding he will reconnect with the original pain and bewilderment of being abandoned by his womb twin partner.

There is the perpetual escape route: the feeling that one can always move on; that the world is waiting out there for anyone who wants to explore and to journey onwards. Yet though journeys can be exciting and fulfilling, this escape route is an endless journey towards nothing for it is a journey away from engagement. It is an escape from pain, an anaesthetic for the pain of love.

Listen to this song: it tells the story of the  wanderer far from home, always searching......

" Desperado"

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