I now know that the material out there on the internet about how a twin may survive an abortion has saved one womb twin survivor's life. So no more silence from me on the matter : this is far too important!
I shall call him Mark, and he told me in his questionnaire that he was sitting in his own sitting room with his family, writing a suicide note when he had a new idea and found new hope:
Today, I was in the midst of writing a suicide letter to my wife and four adult kids when I decided to do an internet search about surviving twins who live through an abortion. The description I found about the feelings, habits and behaviors fits me exactly. I decided to postpone the suicide letter and continue researching surviving twins in hopes of finding help and renewed hope. My situation is surreal. My adult son and wife are in the room with me and have no idea of what I am going through or that I started a suicide letter. Over the last few days, I have been making suicide plans and feel that I am getting much closer. I can't sleep at night and when I do the dreams are about writing a suicide letter.Mark found out in his mid-twenties that his mother tried to abort the pregnancy. He says:
My twin was aborted but somehow, unfortunately, I lived. I wish it would have been the other way around. I hate my life and can't wait to go home to be with Jesus. Being a Christian has helped sooth my pain somewhat but I am still subject to deep depression and suicidal thoughts when I experience rejection from loved ones and even potential employers.But by visiting this project, and others about abortion survivors, he has found new hope:
I am thankful to find out that my depression and feelings of inadequacy and suicide are normal for abortion survivors. I hope to find a lot of answers during my research. I am so paranoid of sharing my feelings with my wife and family because I can't handle another rejection...especially with information this sensitive.Mark - I don't know your real name, but thank you for writing to me and giving permission for me to use your story. It seems that it may have saved your life, and your story on this blog may save another life - maybe more.
Anyone reading this may know or suspect that their mother tried to abort the pregnancy. They may also know they are a womb twin survivor. In that case, rest assured that there is help and there can be healing.
Do not hesitate to contact me, no matter how desperate you are. You can remain anonymous like Mark if you wish, but in any case be assured that you will find some one who respects and understands your feelings and will never reject you or say you are crazy!