Here are babies talking - they seem to be the same age, but Im not sure if they are twins - it does show how babies develop a language of communication long before they say words. It is quite clear here who is the dominant one !!!
Babies are much, much more aware of the world than we give them credit for. They are not dumb little creatures, easily influenced by events, they are tough little people with a mind of their own and acute powers of observation. And they remember events before birth, just for a while, but soon forget aged about 4 when school starts and there are other things to think about!
Yes I got distracted by various events today from the signs of the lost twin:- I'll give you number 2 tomorrow - fat mums with fat tums, at only a few weeks pregnant.......
When a twin dies before birth, the sole survivor needs help and understanding. Womb twin survivors are the sole survivors of a twin or multiple pregnancy. This group, 1 in 10 of the population, includes survivors of a stillbirth, miscarriage, abortion and a "vanishing twin" pregnancy. It is a story of a twin bond broken by death, leaving a lonely survivor.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Signs of a lost twin in pregnancy (1) The "vanishing" twin
For the next few days I will explore the visible signs, noticeable during pregnancy, of a twin conception that ends with the birth of one baby. I will begin with the so- called "vanishing twin pregnancy." If you search this blog with the term "vanishing twin" you will find plenty of information here. There are also three chapters in the new book, "Womb Twin Survivors" devoted to this topic.
It may be useful at this moment to continue our discussion of useful terms. What exactly is a "vanishing" twin?
A pregnancy starts with two gestational sacs, made visible on ultrasound at an early stage and when a second scan is made at a later stage one of them has disappeared. It is a real, physical event, made visible only on ultrasound and consequently only discovered in the 1980s. It is subject to many misconceptions:
It may be useful at this moment to continue our discussion of useful terms. What exactly is a "vanishing" twin?
A pregnancy starts with two gestational sacs, made visible on ultrasound at an early stage and when a second scan is made at a later stage one of them has disappeared. It is a real, physical event, made visible only on ultrasound and consequently only discovered in the 1980s. It is subject to many misconceptions:
- It is NOT a fantasy on the part of the survivor or anything to do with the paranormal
- It is NOT the name of a psychological syndrome, such as is described here.
- The twins are NOT removed from the womb by aliens and connected with the work of the so-called "Illuminati" as described here.
- It is NOT the same thing as "twin embolisation syndrome", as indicated here
These little lost twins do not vanish, they simply die. The term is misleading when it is used inaccurately. If you say you "had a vanished twin" it would be more accurate to say you had a twin who died in the early weeks of pregnancy, disintegrated and left no trace at birth. If there were traces on the placenta then the twin did not vanish, for signs were still there.
I use the term "womb twin survivor" for a very good reason - we need a term that covers all the eventualities that can occur when a twin or multiple conception ends in the birth of one living baby, and this is it. As far as I know there is so other.
"Vanishing twin" only describes a missing twin gestational sac, that was once visible on an ultrasound scan. We need a more general term for the situation when a twin dies in pregnancy or close to birth.
Anyone got any suggestions? We are still searching for a simple, global term for this situation. "Womb twin survivor" describes the surviving twin but not the situation of losing a twin.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Philip Dick - womb twin survivor?
Talking of definitions, which I was yesterday, there is another definition that some people find difficult to decide upon: what do you call the sole survivor when the co-twin dies within a couple of months of birth?
The Lone Twin Network include among their members:
This shows that the moment of birth is crucial in the definition. If your twin died some weeks before birth and was born with you, then you can be a "lone twin". If your twin was miscarried before 24 weeks, you cant.
The members whose twin died around birth can both womb twin survivors and lone twins, for they satisfy the criteria of both groups: they only knew their twin in the womb. We have many people who post on the forum come to the womb twin lunches and who are members of WombTwin.com, whose twin died close to birth. They can properly call themselves "womb twin survivors" and feel a part of our group.
A grave
The great advantage of having lost your twin at birth rather than before, is that there just might be some kind of grave or marker that your twin once existed. It is very hard if no such place exists. The practice of burying a still born twin with an adult stranger is no longer so common, at least in the UK, for it is considered good practice that every body, however small, must have a separate burial place. (This decision is the work of SANDS in London.)
Philip Dick, author of Blade runner, lost his twin sister at six weeks. A post on the womb twin forum alerted me to this fact. He is interviewed here, but he did not mention his twin. However it is clear from his biography that the loss badly affected him.
He was born prematurely, along with his twin sister Jane, in Chicago on December 16, 1928. His father was Edgar Dick, his mother Dorothy Kindred - from her maiden name came Dick's middle initial. Jane died six weeks after her birth, a loss that Phil felt deeply throughout his life. As time went on, Phil came, with whatever justice, to blame his mother for Jane's death. His relationship with both of his parents was decidedly difficult, and made only more so when they divorced when he was five years old.
Sister Jane, his mother, and his father served as models for many of the characters who would populate Dick's fictional universes in the decades to come. In particular, the death of Jane - and Phil's traumatic sense of separation from her, an experience common to many twins who have lost their sibling - contributed to the dualist (twin-poled) dilemmas that dominated his creative work - science fiction (SF)/mainstream, real/fake, human/android. It was out of these pressing dualities that the two vast questions emerged which Dick often cited as encompassing his writing: What is Real? and What is Human?
He heard a voice in his head, a female, who gave him some ideas for his books. His twin was his muse and accompanied him in life in this way. They are buried together, united at last in death.
The Lone Twin Network include among their members:
- those whose twin had died at or around the time of birth;
- members whose twin had died in childhood
- those whose twin had died in adult life.
This shows that the moment of birth is crucial in the definition. If your twin died some weeks before birth and was born with you, then you can be a "lone twin". If your twin was miscarried before 24 weeks, you cant.
The members whose twin died around birth can both womb twin survivors and lone twins, for they satisfy the criteria of both groups: they only knew their twin in the womb. We have many people who post on the forum come to the womb twin lunches and who are members of WombTwin.com, whose twin died close to birth. They can properly call themselves "womb twin survivors" and feel a part of our group.
A grave
The great advantage of having lost your twin at birth rather than before, is that there just might be some kind of grave or marker that your twin once existed. It is very hard if no such place exists. The practice of burying a still born twin with an adult stranger is no longer so common, at least in the UK, for it is considered good practice that every body, however small, must have a separate burial place. (This decision is the work of SANDS in London.)
Philip Dick, author of Blade runner, lost his twin sister at six weeks. A post on the womb twin forum alerted me to this fact. He is interviewed here, but he did not mention his twin. However it is clear from his biography that the loss badly affected him.
He was born prematurely, along with his twin sister Jane, in Chicago on December 16, 1928. His father was Edgar Dick, his mother Dorothy Kindred - from her maiden name came Dick's middle initial. Jane died six weeks after her birth, a loss that Phil felt deeply throughout his life. As time went on, Phil came, with whatever justice, to blame his mother for Jane's death. His relationship with both of his parents was decidedly difficult, and made only more so when they divorced when he was five years old.
Sister Jane, his mother, and his father served as models for many of the characters who would populate Dick's fictional universes in the decades to come. In particular, the death of Jane - and Phil's traumatic sense of separation from her, an experience common to many twins who have lost their sibling - contributed to the dualist (twin-poled) dilemmas that dominated his creative work - science fiction (SF)/mainstream, real/fake, human/android. It was out of these pressing dualities that the two vast questions emerged which Dick often cited as encompassing his writing: What is Real? and What is Human?
He heard a voice in his head, a female, who gave him some ideas for his books. His twin was his muse and accompanied him in life in this way. They are buried together, united at last in death.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
The message: (6) A new term for a new concept
When describing the loss of a co-twin during pregnancy or around birth, the term "vanishing twin" is no longer a suitable term. It does not describe the whole series of events involved in early twin loss. Twins do not "vanish" - they die. It would be ridiculous for example to say that a dermoid cyst or teratoma is a "vanishing" twin, for they are evident and palpable - such cysts and tumours are also visible, after they have been surgically removed.
In 2003, when I started to investigate the whole idea of the loss of a twin in pregnancy, I thought that the term "vanishing twin" would do it.
Wikipedia
In 2003, when I started to investigate the whole idea of the loss of a twin in pregnancy, I thought that the term "vanishing twin" would do it.
Wikipedia
My problems with Wikipedia illustrate very well how little people know about the loss of a twin which encompasses much, much more than the so- called "vanishing twin" phenomenon, where the sight of two gestational sacs at the first ultrasound scan, only to find just one on the next, makes it look as if one twin has "vanished". (Also take a look at the discussion page for an object lesson in scepticism)
My original article lasted six months before it was subsumed into "vanishing twin." Despite the fact that the term has now been in use for five year or more and has been the subject of three books and four articles, "wombtwin" still takes you to "vanishing twin" which was a staff decision, not mine. [try it] I am not familar with the politics of Wikipedia but I suppose the term "wombtwin" will eventually become accepted as a real term - at the moment it is described as a neologism.
Neologism?
People started to use the term in 2008. "I am a wombtwin," they say - [such as here on the Experience project.] That is not true in fact for the "wombtwin" is the lost twin. The survivor is the "wombtwin survivor. " It is a carefully-chosen term, designed to encompass all the various early twin loss scenarios, including miscarriage, abortion, fetus in fetu, the fetus papyaceous, a twin stillborn or born too soon to live, a neonatal death, a teratoma or a dermoid cyst. That idea has yet to infiltrate.
The latest insight and excellent advice is to split the word into two - womb twin. These are two words that are not neologisms and are fresh and new only in the fact that they are put side by side. A "womb twin survivor" article will be my next attempt to get this term onto Wikipedia - lets see how I do. Ill keep you posted.
Tomorrow we will begin a journey into the true facts behind this idea, and we will begin with events in the mother's pregnancy.
My original article lasted six months before it was subsumed into "vanishing twin." Despite the fact that the term has now been in use for five year or more and has been the subject of three books and four articles, "wombtwin" still takes you to "vanishing twin" which was a staff decision, not mine. [try it] I am not familar with the politics of Wikipedia but I suppose the term "wombtwin" will eventually become accepted as a real term - at the moment it is described as a neologism.
Neologism?
People started to use the term in 2008. "I am a wombtwin," they say - [such as here on the Experience project.] That is not true in fact for the "wombtwin" is the lost twin. The survivor is the "wombtwin survivor. " It is a carefully-chosen term, designed to encompass all the various early twin loss scenarios, including miscarriage, abortion, fetus in fetu, the fetus papyaceous, a twin stillborn or born too soon to live, a neonatal death, a teratoma or a dermoid cyst. That idea has yet to infiltrate.
The latest insight and excellent advice is to split the word into two - womb twin. These are two words that are not neologisms and are fresh and new only in the fact that they are put side by side. A "womb twin survivor" article will be my next attempt to get this term onto Wikipedia - lets see how I do. Ill keep you posted.
Tomorrow we will begin a journey into the true facts behind this idea, and we will begin with events in the mother's pregnancy.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
The message: (5) radio and TV
The loss of a twin before birth is a common but little-known phenomenon. There are sceptics everywhere.
Radio
I was listening again to a 2008 BBC Three Counties radio programme where I was interviewed on the phone at 6 am by an extremely skepical DJ, who spoke the words "womb twin survivor" as if they were the weirdest words he had ever heard and I must be a crazy woman to believe any of it. The DJ was not a womb twin survivor and every time he mentioned "womb twins" it was in a highly sceptical and slightly tone of voice.
He said it had sounded as if I was "just pandering to people who have weird feelings." I don't know if I convinced him - after all, there would be precious few listeners at 6am! I have learned in this job not to bother trying to convince people that this is a real effect. If they need convincing they are not womb twin survivors, and no amount of persuasion is going to change their opinion.
TV
But what happens when there is a rather more accepting approach? When the wonderful national geographic film Life in the womb was aired on ITV they tried to find someone who was carrying a vanishing twin pregnancy. I knew they would never get someone like that and they needed someone the next day, so I contacted them and sure enough the next day I was being filmed. I was interviewed for 20 minutes and out of it they took 20 seconds.
At no stage was it implied in any way that I was crazy or mistaken. But of course both people in the room where the film was made, though not womb twin survivors themselves, had a womb twin survivor in the family.
Passing on the Womb Twin message can be hard: scepticism, especially when coupled with narcissism, (the need always to be correct and be the only one who really knows the truth) is the very worst. It is much better when the people concerned are open-minded, or have some personal experience of this.
"They all laughed at Christopher Columbus, when he said the world was round......?
To quote that song, we will get the last laugh in the end:
So you've seen the movie - now read the book!
I was listening again to a 2008 BBC Three Counties radio programme where I was interviewed on the phone at 6 am by an extremely skepical DJ, who spoke the words "womb twin survivor" as if they were the weirdest words he had ever heard and I must be a crazy woman to believe any of it. The DJ was not a womb twin survivor and every time he mentioned "womb twins" it was in a highly sceptical and slightly tone of voice.
He said it had sounded as if I was "just pandering to people who have weird feelings." I don't know if I convinced him - after all, there would be precious few listeners at 6am! I have learned in this job not to bother trying to convince people that this is a real effect. If they need convincing they are not womb twin survivors, and no amount of persuasion is going to change their opinion.
TV
But what happens when there is a rather more accepting approach? When the wonderful national geographic film Life in the womb was aired on ITV they tried to find someone who was carrying a vanishing twin pregnancy. I knew they would never get someone like that and they needed someone the next day, so I contacted them and sure enough the next day I was being filmed. I was interviewed for 20 minutes and out of it they took 20 seconds.
At no stage was it implied in any way that I was crazy or mistaken. But of course both people in the room where the film was made, though not womb twin survivors themselves, had a womb twin survivor in the family.
Passing on the Womb Twin message can be hard: scepticism, especially when coupled with narcissism, (the need always to be correct and be the only one who really knows the truth) is the very worst. It is much better when the people concerned are open-minded, or have some personal experience of this.
"They all laughed at Christopher Columbus, when he said the world was round......?
To quote that song, we will get the last laugh in the end:
So you've seen the movie - now read the book!
Friday, March 25, 2011
The message: (4) The womb twin survivors web site
At the beginning of this project in 2003, I built a web site carrying as much information as I could about womb twin survivors. This is still there eight years later and much, much bigger. [See it here] The main idea was to create a place to which people might come who were searching for information about a twin lost before birth. It did not take more than a few weeks for the first person to contact me - a man from the USA who had recovered a sense of his lost twin during NMT therapy.
To this day, over 80% of the people who contact me are from the USA. Of course the people I am reaching have internet access, and a personal computer, so that limits who I am getting to.
The questionnaire
I also created a questionnaire as an online form in 2004 ( that stretched my IT skills to the limit!) That created a major attraction and also gave me contact details (unless the respondent decided to remain anonymous) and we could talk some more. Today, life is quite different with all the new web applications, and things are more sophisticated. We are on the sixth version of the questionnaire ( now hosted by Survey Monkey) and 1100 people have completed it. The Google analysis of the site shows that the questionnaire is the second most popular page. [see it here]
Information
The most popular page is "information". This backs up the first principle of this whole project, which is to gather together and disseminate high-quality information about womb twin survivors and particularly the biological basis and medical facts about how a twin may die before birth. Clearly, this information is badly needed. The first part of my book "Womb Twin Survivors" is a digest of some of this information, which required seven chapters to fully explain. Even then there were dozens more references I could have quoted.
Articles
The next most popular section is the articles. Some are written by me, fully referenced but never published anywhere else, others have been sent to the web site by womb twin survivors, including Peter Bourquin.
My Womb Twin Survivors Project web site will continue to develop as I gather more and more information. The design has changed several times and I have had to resort to tabs to help people navigate, for it is such a wide-ranging topic.
There are more than 600 million womb twin survivors in the world, (10 % of the population) so we have much more work to do to reach them all! In the meantime the 90% who do not understand what I am talking about continue to put blocks in my way - but that is tomorrow's story!
To this day, over 80% of the people who contact me are from the USA. Of course the people I am reaching have internet access, and a personal computer, so that limits who I am getting to.
The questionnaire
I also created a questionnaire as an online form in 2004 ( that stretched my IT skills to the limit!) That created a major attraction and also gave me contact details (unless the respondent decided to remain anonymous) and we could talk some more. Today, life is quite different with all the new web applications, and things are more sophisticated. We are on the sixth version of the questionnaire ( now hosted by Survey Monkey) and 1100 people have completed it. The Google analysis of the site shows that the questionnaire is the second most popular page. [see it here]
Information
The most popular page is "information". This backs up the first principle of this whole project, which is to gather together and disseminate high-quality information about womb twin survivors and particularly the biological basis and medical facts about how a twin may die before birth. Clearly, this information is badly needed. The first part of my book "Womb Twin Survivors" is a digest of some of this information, which required seven chapters to fully explain. Even then there were dozens more references I could have quoted.
Articles
The next most popular section is the articles. Some are written by me, fully referenced but never published anywhere else, others have been sent to the web site by womb twin survivors, including Peter Bourquin.
My Womb Twin Survivors Project web site will continue to develop as I gather more and more information. The design has changed several times and I have had to resort to tabs to help people navigate, for it is such a wide-ranging topic.
There are more than 600 million womb twin survivors in the world, (10 % of the population) so we have much more work to do to reach them all! In the meantime the 90% who do not understand what I am talking about continue to put blocks in my way - but that is tomorrow's story!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
The message:(3) Telling the children
Two weeks ago, we launched the Womb Twin Kids project ( see my blog post of that day).
There are three reasons for this project, and they are all about passing on the Womb Twin message to the people who matter - the womb twin survivors themselves.
Children have a right to know
The fact that one is a womb twin survivor is a very important piece of personal information. This should not be withheld permanently.
Research carried out by Carolyn Dawn, PhD, at the Santa Barbara Institute in California, with 52 adult womb twin survivors, revealed the anger and distress caused by not being told by their parents.
(Ref: The surviving twin: psychological, emotional, and spiritual impacts of having experienced a death before or at birth. Chapter in Untwinned: perspectives on the death of a twin before birth. (Download an extract here)
As a direct result of this research, and after meeting twins who were told early in life, it is clear how much less distressed they are than people who were told about their twin as adults. I consider it good practice for parents to make the facts of a lost twin available to the survivor as early as possible, in whatever way seems most suitable. Most of the many hundreds of womb twin survivors I have come across agree with this - do you? Feel free to comment either on this blog or by using the contact form.
Parents have a right to remain silent on the subject
Some parents carefully preserve their right to remain silent. There are many reasons for this, such as the loss of a twin being part of a terribly traumatic pregnancy and birth, or a sense of personal failure - not to have been able to keep both babies alive. This blog post is not intended to put pressure on parents who would find it too distressing to speak about, but this information must not be lost for ever. If you are a parent of a womb twin survivor and you feel you would rather not talk about it then, for the sake of your child do please write it all down and put it into safe keeping, perhaps along with your will, so that after you have died, your child can know.
The Womb Twin Kids Project is designed to help parents to discover ways of speaking to their child about their twin. We can show parents that speaking about it need not be distressing, but can be a playful celebration of something special and rather wonderful, in many ways.
Most womb twin survivors are already aware of their twin
I read a blog yesterday about a surviving twin who was haunted by her twin. It makes fascinating reading, for this girl had not been told of her twin. She always had a sense of something missing and had an imaginary friend called Sarah, whom she saw one night, in her bedroom, when she was 19.
A few months before I saw Sarah in my bedroom, my brother told me I had experienced "Vanishing twin syndrome" I didn't want to believe him but I really do and thought so before he told me even.
Even when children are told, they are often not surprised. They may be confused, or a little doubtful, and may suddenly feel a surge of grief, but this is not a bad thing. Knowing is the first step on the healing path.
(We will be walking the Healing Path together on this blog in April. More here)
Do you want to help with the Womb Twin project for parents and children? Find out how.
There are three reasons for this project, and they are all about passing on the Womb Twin message to the people who matter - the womb twin survivors themselves.
Children have a right to know
The fact that one is a womb twin survivor is a very important piece of personal information. This should not be withheld permanently.
Research carried out by Carolyn Dawn, PhD, at the Santa Barbara Institute in California, with 52 adult womb twin survivors, revealed the anger and distress caused by not being told by their parents.
(Ref: The surviving twin: psychological, emotional, and spiritual impacts of having experienced a death before or at birth. Chapter in Untwinned: perspectives on the death of a twin before birth. (Download an extract here)
As a direct result of this research, and after meeting twins who were told early in life, it is clear how much less distressed they are than people who were told about their twin as adults. I consider it good practice for parents to make the facts of a lost twin available to the survivor as early as possible, in whatever way seems most suitable. Most of the many hundreds of womb twin survivors I have come across agree with this - do you? Feel free to comment either on this blog or by using the contact form.
Parents have a right to remain silent on the subject
Some parents carefully preserve their right to remain silent. There are many reasons for this, such as the loss of a twin being part of a terribly traumatic pregnancy and birth, or a sense of personal failure - not to have been able to keep both babies alive. This blog post is not intended to put pressure on parents who would find it too distressing to speak about, but this information must not be lost for ever. If you are a parent of a womb twin survivor and you feel you would rather not talk about it then, for the sake of your child do please write it all down and put it into safe keeping, perhaps along with your will, so that after you have died, your child can know.
The Womb Twin Kids Project is designed to help parents to discover ways of speaking to their child about their twin. We can show parents that speaking about it need not be distressing, but can be a playful celebration of something special and rather wonderful, in many ways.
Most womb twin survivors are already aware of their twin
I read a blog yesterday about a surviving twin who was haunted by her twin. It makes fascinating reading, for this girl had not been told of her twin. She always had a sense of something missing and had an imaginary friend called Sarah, whom she saw one night, in her bedroom, when she was 19.
A few months before I saw Sarah in my bedroom, my brother told me I had experienced "Vanishing twin syndrome" I didn't want to believe him but I really do and thought so before he told me even.
Even when children are told, they are often not surprised. They may be confused, or a little doubtful, and may suddenly feel a surge of grief, but this is not a bad thing. Knowing is the first step on the healing path.
(We will be walking the Healing Path together on this blog in April. More here)
Do you want to help with the Womb Twin project for parents and children? Find out how.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
The message :(2) Telling the professionals
The psychological characteristics of the womb twin survivor are hard to understand if you are one of the 90% who don't understand and you are a psychiatrist imbued with ideas about " psychological disorders" that can be "treated" with pharmaceuticals.
I was in correspondence with a womb twin survivor in 2007 and he sent me this article from the LA times.
When kids have behavioral problems, diagnoses and drugs often follow. Has psychiatry gone overboard on medicating children?
November 05, 2007| Melissa Healy | Times Staff Writer
My research is beginning to suggest that "bi polar disorder" is in fact nothing more than the characteristic response to the loss of a twin before birth. Furthermore, not all womb twin survivors are diagnosed with this " disorder" and where it does exist the characteristics vary between them. I am working on the hypothesis that a lot depends on exactly what prenatal memories lie in the Dream of the Womb, such as whether the twin was monozygotic or not. Some people think I am going too far when I say this, but I speak as I find : I didnt invent this idea, I only describe what I am being told by over a thousand womb twin survivors so far, with more to come, no doubt, via my research questionnaire.
So we all need to work hard to pass the message on to the medical health professionals - psychiatrists, psychologists, research scientists and psychotherapists. I have a special page for medical professionals here. And another for therapists here.
It's easy to identify a womb twin survivor now we know what to look for -
Let's get to it and end this damaging level of ignorance among professionals that has lead to a young child being put on psychiatric medication. These are good-hearted people who are trying to help, but think there is no alternative, because no one has explained this to them.
If you care, PASS THE MESSAGE ON to the professionals, for the sake of these children.
I was in correspondence with a womb twin survivor in 2007 and he sent me this article from the LA times.
When kids have behavioral problems, diagnoses and drugs often follow. Has psychiatry gone overboard on medicating children?
November 05, 2007| Melissa Healy | Times Staff Writer
A month ago, Katie, a 38-year-old L.A.-area mother of three, brought the child to a psychiatrist. The child's behavior and performance in school were exemplary, but an ill-tempered outburst had gotten the preteen kicked out of a Girl Scout troop she had joined at age 5. The girl was confused and heartbroken over her ejection. The daughter came away from the appointment with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. Katie, who asked that her full name be withheld to protect her daughter's privacy, came away with a list of 10 powerful psychiatric medicines and a momentous decision to make. Some combination of these mood-stabilizing, anticonvulsive and antipsychotic drugs, Katie was told, would probably control her daughter's problematic behaviors, referred to by her psychiatrist as symptoms of a disease. Now it's Katie who has the racing thoughts and the alternating bouts of fear, anxiety, relief and anger. As she ponders whether her daughter's strange behavior really amounts to mental illness -- and whether medication is the answer -- she says, "I feel like I'm flying blind."
My research is beginning to suggest that "bi polar disorder" is in fact nothing more than the characteristic response to the loss of a twin before birth. Furthermore, not all womb twin survivors are diagnosed with this " disorder" and where it does exist the characteristics vary between them. I am working on the hypothesis that a lot depends on exactly what prenatal memories lie in the Dream of the Womb, such as whether the twin was monozygotic or not. Some people think I am going too far when I say this, but I speak as I find : I didnt invent this idea, I only describe what I am being told by over a thousand womb twin survivors so far, with more to come, no doubt, via my research questionnaire.
So we all need to work hard to pass the message on to the medical health professionals - psychiatrists, psychologists, research scientists and psychotherapists. I have a special page for medical professionals here. And another for therapists here.
It's easy to identify a womb twin survivor now we know what to look for -
Let's get to it and end this damaging level of ignorance among professionals that has lead to a young child being put on psychiatric medication. These are good-hearted people who are trying to help, but think there is no alternative, because no one has explained this to them.
If you care, PASS THE MESSAGE ON to the professionals, for the sake of these children.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
The message : (1) Womb twin blogs and bloggers
Here begins a short series of blogs about aspects of the Womb Twin message. One part of the message is this:
There are millions of womb twin survivors in the world. Most of them are unaware that they are, and those who do know of their twin do not realise that the prenatal loss of their twin has had a profound psychological effect on them.
One favourite way to get any message to the world is to blog it, which is why I made a resolution on January 1st of this year to make a post here every day of 2011. After 5 weeks, the number of visitors to this blog had doubled and look ready to triple within the next two months! Thank you, every one of you. You are very welcome here and I look forward to your comments.
This is not the only womb twin blog, but so far at least, there is just one Twitter account.
There is a blog in the USA which features stories of interest to people in that country. Also blogs in other countries [ see the full list of blogs here]
Here is a quote from the US blog home page:
The Womb Twin world blog has a large group of authors from countries throughout the world, and posts in various languages. If you are a womb twin survivor you can become an author on the world blog - we cant have too many authors for this!
Why have all these blogs? It is a way to spread the world, get the message out. People like blogs because they are active and there is always something new to see , and it feels more "cutting edge" than a web site.
Blogging the message
Comments to this blog (and about this blog made elsewhere) seem to indicate that:
1 There is widespread scepticism about this among the 90% of the population who are NOT womb twin survivors.
2 Womb twin survivors find it affirming to read about themselves here and find something of their story in every blog post
How do you respond to this daily blog? Is this a good way to get the message out? Let me know either here or contact me via my web site, thank you.
Tomorrow we will explore some of the various womb twin web sites. Do you know of one? Please let me know if you find one.
There are millions of womb twin survivors in the world. Most of them are unaware that they are, and those who do know of their twin do not realise that the prenatal loss of their twin has had a profound psychological effect on them.
One favourite way to get any message to the world is to blog it, which is why I made a resolution on January 1st of this year to make a post here every day of 2011. After 5 weeks, the number of visitors to this blog had doubled and look ready to triple within the next two months! Thank you, every one of you. You are very welcome here and I look forward to your comments.
This is not the only womb twin blog, but so far at least, there is just one Twitter account.
There is a blog in the USA which features stories of interest to people in that country. Also blogs in other countries [ see the full list of blogs here]
Here is a quote from the US blog home page:
Awareness of this condition becomes a clear explanation to what didn't make sense before. The current state of little or no awareness, combined with massive disbelief, creates a situation that is extremely disproportionate to the pain suffered by those who lost someone with whom they once shared a womb. They need not suffer alone just because society hasn't yet established proper recognition and understanding of this syndrome. Battling such a vague condition all alone is especially difficult when being alone is the problem to begin with!
The Womb Twin world blog has a large group of authors from countries throughout the world, and posts in various languages. If you are a womb twin survivor you can become an author on the world blog - we cant have too many authors for this!
Why have all these blogs? It is a way to spread the world, get the message out. People like blogs because they are active and there is always something new to see , and it feels more "cutting edge" than a web site.
Blogging the message
Comments to this blog (and about this blog made elsewhere) seem to indicate that:
1 There is widespread scepticism about this among the 90% of the population who are NOT womb twin survivors.
2 Womb twin survivors find it affirming to read about themselves here and find something of their story in every blog post
How do you respond to this daily blog? Is this a good way to get the message out? Let me know either here or contact me via my web site, thank you.
Tomorrow we will explore some of the various womb twin web sites. Do you know of one? Please let me know if you find one.
Monday, March 21, 2011
A new womb twin survivors movie!
This is how twins feel when their twin has died
This is how womb twin survivors feel every day, for their twin died too.
I will be making a UTube video like this about womb twin survivors and I need stories to tell. I have a few stories and some images, but I need more. Can you help me to help others? If you would like your story to be in the forthcoming utube movie "Womb Twin Survivors" , please let me know by email or just add it as a comment below. If you once did the questionnaire and sent your story, you may like to give me permission now, to read some of your story in the movie.
Thank you!
Here are the womb twin survivors movies so far... [here]
This is how womb twin survivors feel every day, for their twin died too.
I will be making a UTube video like this about womb twin survivors and I need stories to tell. I have a few stories and some images, but I need more. Can you help me to help others? If you would like your story to be in the forthcoming utube movie "Womb Twin Survivors" , please let me know by email or just add it as a comment below. If you once did the questionnaire and sent your story, you may like to give me permission now, to read some of your story in the movie.
Thank you!
Here are the womb twin survivors movies so far... [here]
Sunday, March 20, 2011
The fraternal womb twin survivor (6). A twin soul
Probably for want of another explanation, the idea of a twin soul - an important component of romantic love- has been associated with metaphysics and such things as karma, energy alignment and the Inner Child.
Yet there may be a more prosaic answer to why some people spend years searching for their twin soul. Of course they never manage to find him or her, and make and break a series of loving relationships in the course of their search, creating heartbreak again and again, as they continue.
What if the search for a twin soul in indeed the search for one's lost twin, who exists only in the survivor's Dream of the Womb and cannot therefore be found in born life? A lifelong, fruitless search for the unattainable twin relationship, accompanied by plenty of heartbreak, would be a pretty suitable way to reenact the Dream of the Womb where a fraternal twin was once out there somewhere but, after a brief interval, was gone.
Some of the poetry about twin souls mentions a place far away where the twin souls were once united - this sounds exactly like the Dream of the Womb to me.
When we are apart, I lie awake at night
making love to the space between us
your fingertips are tracing my tongue
I draw you into my dreams
the sky folds around us
the stars feel like rain
and from so far away
you look like a tiny grain of sand
but you feel like the ocean
you remind me of the home I knew
before I knew I'd left it.
by Teri Robnett
www.thetenthmuse.com
We need to take a closer look at the way we seek out other people for intimate twin/twin relationships. Many unaware womb twin survivors in the population are acting out their Dream of the Womb on each other in a cruel Dance of Death that always ends in lonliness and heartbreak. Perhaps with a new understanding of the lost twin in the Dream of the Womb, we may be able to prevent the dysfunctional relationships created by womb twin survivors who seek out their lost twin in each other.
Yet there may be a more prosaic answer to why some people spend years searching for their twin soul. Of course they never manage to find him or her, and make and break a series of loving relationships in the course of their search, creating heartbreak again and again, as they continue.
What if the search for a twin soul in indeed the search for one's lost twin, who exists only in the survivor's Dream of the Womb and cannot therefore be found in born life? A lifelong, fruitless search for the unattainable twin relationship, accompanied by plenty of heartbreak, would be a pretty suitable way to reenact the Dream of the Womb where a fraternal twin was once out there somewhere but, after a brief interval, was gone.
Some of the poetry about twin souls mentions a place far away where the twin souls were once united - this sounds exactly like the Dream of the Womb to me.
When we are apart, I lie awake at night
making love to the space between us
your fingertips are tracing my tongue
I draw you into my dreams
the sky folds around us
the stars feel like rain
and from so far away
you look like a tiny grain of sand
but you feel like the ocean
you remind me of the home I knew
before I knew I'd left it.
by Teri Robnett
www.thetenthmuse.com
We need to take a closer look at the way we seek out other people for intimate twin/twin relationships. Many unaware womb twin survivors in the population are acting out their Dream of the Womb on each other in a cruel Dance of Death that always ends in lonliness and heartbreak. Perhaps with a new understanding of the lost twin in the Dream of the Womb, we may be able to prevent the dysfunctional relationships created by womb twin survivors who seek out their lost twin in each other.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
The fraternal womb twin survivor (5) gender confusion
In the whole of the Womb Twin project (see here) there has been no other subject that has aroused such strong feelings as gender confusion. To carry opposite gender energy is very confusing, and sole surviving fraternal twins who once had a twin of the opposite sex (OSDZ twins) do sometimes receive a dose of opposite sex hormone if the placentas overlap.
The masculinised female
A girl with a lot of male energy may look boyish, but even if she looks very feminine may act boyish, wanting to be "one of the boys". As early as seven years old, Margaret wanted badly to be a boy, thinking that boys had the best deal in life. She willingly embraced the feminist movement in the 1960s and has been a manager of a travel firm for some years. She has now discovered that she is a womb twin survivor and once had a twin brother.
The feminised male
Matthew was always ultra sensitive and tended to weep easily. he was happiest with his Mum and let her cut his hair, enjoying the intimacy of it. By 13 years old he was over six feet tall and was slender but althletic. He loved to be in the company of women and knows that this is because his twin, lost at 13 weeks of pregnancy, was an OSDZ sister.
Intersex
Dominic always felt as if he was female, despite the fact that he is a husband and father. A recent DNA test has shown that he is a chimera, of both male and female. After many years of feeling like a freak, at last he knows that the female side of him is his absorbed OSDZ twin sister.
Transgender
Teresa started life as a male but yearned to be female. Her DNA is XXY A hermaphrodite. She fought the feeling for twenty years, married and had children, but finally had hormone treatment and surgery so she is now a woman. She has so much female energy that she cannot remember now ever being a male - that is, until her children call her "Dad".
The masculinised female
A girl with a lot of male energy may look boyish, but even if she looks very feminine may act boyish, wanting to be "one of the boys". As early as seven years old, Margaret wanted badly to be a boy, thinking that boys had the best deal in life. She willingly embraced the feminist movement in the 1960s and has been a manager of a travel firm for some years. She has now discovered that she is a womb twin survivor and once had a twin brother.
The feminised male
Matthew was always ultra sensitive and tended to weep easily. he was happiest with his Mum and let her cut his hair, enjoying the intimacy of it. By 13 years old he was over six feet tall and was slender but althletic. He loved to be in the company of women and knows that this is because his twin, lost at 13 weeks of pregnancy, was an OSDZ sister.
Intersex
Dominic always felt as if he was female, despite the fact that he is a husband and father. A recent DNA test has shown that he is a chimera, of both male and female. After many years of feeling like a freak, at last he knows that the female side of him is his absorbed OSDZ twin sister.
Transgender
Teresa started life as a male but yearned to be female. Her DNA is XXY A hermaphrodite. She fought the feeling for twenty years, married and had children, but finally had hormone treatment and surgery so she is now a woman. She has so much female energy that she cannot remember now ever being a male - that is, until her children call her "Dad".
Friday, March 18, 2011
The fraternal womb twin survivor (4). dead relationships
Do you try, against all reason, to keep alive a relationship that has died?
This is how one journalist put it:
It is a cruel but unavoidable fact of life that dying relationships are not actual relationships any longer, not in the sense that they can be worked on, magicked or charmed back to life. As any spurned soul could have told him, once dead, relationships have a lot in common with jinxed wishing wells. It doesn't matter what you chuck into them - it can be your best stuff, all you've got, wrenched from the depths of your being - and still your wishes will never be answered. You will just keep throwing it all in and watching it disappear, [more]
Where a sense of connection once breifly existed, now there is nothing but a Black Hole, where all your energy gets poured in and little or nothing comes back in the way of response or reciprocation.
It is as if they have become your Alpha and you have become their Beta -you are thye doormat upon which they wipe the dirt off their feet. There is even a book about this: The Doormat Syndrome ( this is a very familiar situation to DZ womb twin survivors. They become identified with their weaker Beta twin.
If you have ever given to the point of exhaustion, felt dumped on or ripped off, and puzzled to find yourself coming back for more; if you are involved with people who don’t appreciate you, if you equate love with doing for others, you may be experiencing The Doormat Syndrome. ( There is a book about this)
In the Dream of the womb, a responsive DZ ( dizygotic) twin has died and you are alone. That dream is re-enacted every time an intimate relationship ends. In your grief and sense of loss is real sorrow, but also a real memory.
This is how one journalist put it:
It is a cruel but unavoidable fact of life that dying relationships are not actual relationships any longer, not in the sense that they can be worked on, magicked or charmed back to life. As any spurned soul could have told him, once dead, relationships have a lot in common with jinxed wishing wells. It doesn't matter what you chuck into them - it can be your best stuff, all you've got, wrenched from the depths of your being - and still your wishes will never be answered. You will just keep throwing it all in and watching it disappear, [more]
Where a sense of connection once breifly existed, now there is nothing but a Black Hole, where all your energy gets poured in and little or nothing comes back in the way of response or reciprocation.
It is as if they have become your Alpha and you have become their Beta -you are thye doormat upon which they wipe the dirt off their feet. There is even a book about this: The Doormat Syndrome ( this is a very familiar situation to DZ womb twin survivors. They become identified with their weaker Beta twin.
If you have ever given to the point of exhaustion, felt dumped on or ripped off, and puzzled to find yourself coming back for more; if you are involved with people who don’t appreciate you, if you equate love with doing for others, you may be experiencing The Doormat Syndrome. ( There is a book about this)
In the Dream of the womb, a responsive DZ ( dizygotic) twin has died and you are alone. That dream is re-enacted every time an intimate relationship ends. In your grief and sense of loss is real sorrow, but also a real memory.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
The fraternal womb twin survivor (3). fear of abandonment
The deep fear of abandonment experienced by co-dependent womb twin survivors is not caused by abuse or neglect of primary caregivers, or experiences of being left alone and helpless. The original abandonment scenario occurred long before birth, when after many weeks of being in the company of a responsive, active little twin,the twin ceased to be responsive or active and there was ony stillness and silence.
The fear of abandonment is regarded as a sign of a "personality disorder" Nbut it is completely normal, under the very specific circumstances experienced by a dizygotic (DZ) womb twin survivor before birth.
This is also known as "separation anxiety" and there is some concern that working parents may be a possib le cause parents are themselves deeply concerned when their child is unable to tolerate separation.
Everyone is worried, theories are bandied about, but no one knows that the fear of abandonment was put in place long before birth.
The fear of abandonment is regarded as a sign of a "personality disorder" Nbut it is completely normal, under the very specific circumstances experienced by a dizygotic (DZ) womb twin survivor before birth.
This is also known as "separation anxiety" and there is some concern that working parents may be a possib le cause parents are themselves deeply concerned when their child is unable to tolerate separation.
Everyone is worried, theories are bandied about, but no one knows that the fear of abandonment was put in place long before birth.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
The fraternal womb twin survivor (1) compulsive caring
Compulsive caring or helping is an addiction, at least according to the PROMIS clinic in London. They say:
What is the difference between helpful helping and compulsive helping?
.......... helpful is where we care for others in our life – but we do not step over into taking on their responsibilities for them, which is what happens when we compulsively help. When I compulsively help, it is in order to run A.N. Other’s life for him or her and to take the focus off running my own life. When I feel good because I am focusing on someone else and I am unaware of anything else except what I am trying to do for the other person in my life, whether family member or friend, whether addict or not, then that is compulsive helping.
The fraternal (dizygotic, or DZ) womb twin survivor is completely different from the identical (monozygotic or MZ) womb twin survivor in many ways, but the difference is particularly acute with regard to helping others. The DZ womb twin survivor is focused outwardly towards Someone Out There, whereas the MZ twin survivor is focused on Someone In Here.
This means that in relationship to others the DZ womb twin survivor twin will notice where help is needed, while the MZ womb twin survivor is focused inwardly and will not see the need for help -or if they do, will not have any desire to reach out and offer it, lest there be some negative effect upon them as a result. For example, seeing a mother struggling upstairs at a railway station with a push chair and baby, the DZ womb twin survivor will find it impossible not to offer help, whereas theMZ twin survivor, concerned for their own well being, may walk past rather than risk injury lifing the push chair, and may even be critical of the mother for taking the push chair on the train at all.
This story may make the DZ womb twin survivor appear to be"good" and MZ womb twin survivors to be "bad", but this is not so: each one is keeping alive their individual Dream of the Womb. The DZ womb twin survivor is keeping alive their little lost twin, who did not have the strength or energy to survive.
For example,David Winnicott, child psychologist and probably a DZ womb twin survivor himself, wrote a poem a about his depressed mother:
Once, stretched out of her lap
I learned to make her smile
to stem her tears
to undo her guilt
to sure her inward death
To enliven her was my living.
See this article for more:
TO ENLIVEN HER WAS MY LIVING’: THOUGHTS ON COMPLIANCE AND SACRIFICE AS CONSEQUENCES OF MALIGNANT IDENTIFICATION WITH A NARCISSISTIC PARENT
The psychologists can talk about "malignant identification with a narcissistic parent" if they wish -and after all who am I to criticise their ideas? But this idea does not make half as much sense as Winnicott being a highly empathetic womb twin survivor whose sister was lost before birth and whose mother ( the replacent twin sister) was very needy indeed.
Truly, new knowledge about the psychology of womb twin survivors is about to turn some well worn psychological theories upside down......I hope I am still around when that happens!
What is the difference between helpful helping and compulsive helping?
.......... helpful is where we care for others in our life – but we do not step over into taking on their responsibilities for them, which is what happens when we compulsively help. When I compulsively help, it is in order to run A.N. Other’s life for him or her and to take the focus off running my own life. When I feel good because I am focusing on someone else and I am unaware of anything else except what I am trying to do for the other person in my life, whether family member or friend, whether addict or not, then that is compulsive helping.
The fraternal (dizygotic, or DZ) womb twin survivor is completely different from the identical (monozygotic or MZ) womb twin survivor in many ways, but the difference is particularly acute with regard to helping others. The DZ womb twin survivor is focused outwardly towards Someone Out There, whereas the MZ twin survivor is focused on Someone In Here.
This means that in relationship to others the DZ womb twin survivor twin will notice where help is needed, while the MZ womb twin survivor is focused inwardly and will not see the need for help -or if they do, will not have any desire to reach out and offer it, lest there be some negative effect upon them as a result. For example, seeing a mother struggling upstairs at a railway station with a push chair and baby, the DZ womb twin survivor will find it impossible not to offer help, whereas theMZ twin survivor, concerned for their own well being, may walk past rather than risk injury lifing the push chair, and may even be critical of the mother for taking the push chair on the train at all.
This story may make the DZ womb twin survivor appear to be"good" and MZ womb twin survivors to be "bad", but this is not so: each one is keeping alive their individual Dream of the Womb. The DZ womb twin survivor is keeping alive their little lost twin, who did not have the strength or energy to survive.
For example,David Winnicott, child psychologist and probably a DZ womb twin survivor himself, wrote a poem a about his depressed mother:
Once, stretched out of her lap
I learned to make her smile
to stem her tears
to undo her guilt
to sure her inward death
To enliven her was my living.
See this article for more:
TO ENLIVEN HER WAS MY LIVING’: THOUGHTS ON COMPLIANCE AND SACRIFICE AS CONSEQUENCES OF MALIGNANT IDENTIFICATION WITH A NARCISSISTIC PARENT
The psychologists can talk about "malignant identification with a narcissistic parent" if they wish -and after all who am I to criticise their ideas? But this idea does not make half as much sense as Winnicott being a highly empathetic womb twin survivor whose sister was lost before birth and whose mother ( the replacent twin sister) was very needy indeed.
Truly, new knowledge about the psychology of womb twin survivors is about to turn some well worn psychological theories upside down......I hope I am still around when that happens!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
A fraternal womb twin survivor - co-dependency
There are various theories about why co-dependency develops in an individual, but none of them are clearer or more cogent than to say that co-dependent people are fraternal (dizygotic) womb twin survivors.. Over the next six days I will explain how co-dependent people are re-enacting their Dream of the Womb, wherein lies a little lost fraternal twin.
Here is one excellent example of how writers on this subject have got within a millimetre of diagnosing the problem according to the Womb Twin hypothesis but they didn't know about womb twin survivors, so they completely missed the point:
The codependent will try anything to help intimate relationships survive. [more]
Here is one excellent example of how writers on this subject have got within a millimetre of diagnosing the problem according to the Womb Twin hypothesis but they didn't know about womb twin survivors, so they completely missed the point:
Love addictions come out of a neediness to be loved, which started when the young child was not loved and cared for in safe and supportive ways. Perhaps the baby was not wanted and picked up this message from the parents. Perhaps the child was criticized and scolded leaving her with a feeling of being flawed. Maybe she felt that she could never meet her parent's unrealistic expectations. Or decided that she was unworthy when she was rejected and abandoned by those she loved. All of these possibilities create insecurity and low self esteem in the child.
[What is the womb twin hypothesis? See here]
The codependent will try anything to help intimate relationships survive. [more]
Codependency is when a person has a strong desire to control people around them, including their spouse, children or co-workers. Codependents believe they are somehow more capable than others, who need their direction or suggestions to fulfill tasks they are responsible to complete. They feel compassion for people who may be hurting and feel they should be the one to help them. Codependent people give of their time, emotions, finances, and other resources. They have a very difficult time saying "no" to any requests made of them.
Well, if the first bond ever created in your life, which was with your fraternal twin, was broken, would you as the sole survivor not be desperate to keep alive any intimate relationship you have in born life?
Nothing - not a full life nor an early death - would be more important than that.
Monday, March 14, 2011
The narcissistic womb twin survivor (6) entitlement
The sixth characteristic of identical womb twin survivors and also of narcissism, is a sense of entitlement.
If you ever needed convincing that narcissism is a reenactment of a series of prebirth events, then this is it.
Lets consider what that sense of " entitlement" means in practice. It means that one demands the right to do what one wishes, havge what one wants and be allowed freedom of movement and action. Observe the narcissistic person in traffic, and see the rage at benig obstructed by another vehicle moving slowly or not movong way sufficiently speedily from the traffic lights. Notice the narcissisitic child, who flouts rules, restrictions and al forms of limitation to his or her freedom of will.
So let us imagine the feeling of being "only half ", which is the first experience of the identical twin. Then the initial survival struggle,which is more or less intense, depending on the relative weakness and total lifespan of the Beta twin.Finally the sense of being alone, free, the inheritor of all.
If it is true that womb twin survivors spend their lives reenacting their Dream of Womb, then the life of the MZ womb twin survivor will follow the womb story of two MZ twins who were together for a while but one was left alone, the inheritor of all.
The womb story would include the initial sense of being half, and a survival struggle, which would be more or less intense, depending on the relative weakness and total lifespan of the Beta twin. Finally, the sense of being the inheritor of all, with total freedom of movement and all the food and oxygen that was once shared.
In born life, to keep the Dream alive, the narcissistic person's will must remain unfetttered, regardless of how tactless or inappopriate it may be. Sadly, what applied in the womb does not apply in born life, where rights must be matched by responsibilities towards others. As a result narcissistic behaviour is universally condemned. But that also suits the secret purposes of the identical womb twin survivor, who lives with a perpetual sense of shame and guilt at being alive. The condemnation feels appropriate in the circumstances and is often triggered by totally unreasonable and self defeating behaviour to make matters worse.
There is much more to say on this, but I will leave Narcissus for a while and take a close look at Gemini. Tomorrow I will begin a six part series of blogs about the dizygotic ( fraternal) womb twin survivor, whose story is completely different, biologically, psychologically and spiritually.
If you ever needed convincing that narcissism is a reenactment of a series of prebirth events, then this is it.
Lets consider what that sense of " entitlement" means in practice. It means that one demands the right to do what one wishes, havge what one wants and be allowed freedom of movement and action. Observe the narcissistic person in traffic, and see the rage at benig obstructed by another vehicle moving slowly or not movong way sufficiently speedily from the traffic lights. Notice the narcissisitic child, who flouts rules, restrictions and al forms of limitation to his or her freedom of will.
So let us imagine the feeling of being "only half ", which is the first experience of the identical twin. Then the initial survival struggle,which is more or less intense, depending on the relative weakness and total lifespan of the Beta twin.Finally the sense of being alone, free, the inheritor of all.
If it is true that womb twin survivors spend their lives reenacting their Dream of Womb, then the life of the MZ womb twin survivor will follow the womb story of two MZ twins who were together for a while but one was left alone, the inheritor of all.
The womb story would include the initial sense of being half, and a survival struggle, which would be more or less intense, depending on the relative weakness and total lifespan of the Beta twin. Finally, the sense of being the inheritor of all, with total freedom of movement and all the food and oxygen that was once shared.
In born life, to keep the Dream alive, the narcissistic person's will must remain unfetttered, regardless of how tactless or inappopriate it may be. Sadly, what applied in the womb does not apply in born life, where rights must be matched by responsibilities towards others. As a result narcissistic behaviour is universally condemned. But that also suits the secret purposes of the identical womb twin survivor, who lives with a perpetual sense of shame and guilt at being alive. The condemnation feels appropriate in the circumstances and is often triggered by totally unreasonable and self defeating behaviour to make matters worse.
There is much more to say on this, but I will leave Narcissus for a while and take a close look at Gemini. Tomorrow I will begin a six part series of blogs about the dizygotic ( fraternal) womb twin survivor, whose story is completely different, biologically, psychologically and spiritually.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
The narcissistic womb twin survivor (5) need for attention
What is narcissism? [see here for details]
To relate this to being an identical twin survivor is quite simple: all you have to do is to examine how you feel when you are with them. If you are with someone who always claims the centre stage, that puts them in the No1 position while by default you are forced to adopt the No 2 position.
Here is a typical and often repeated example:a narsissistic individual attended one of my seminar/workshops. She was so dominant in the group that 10 other people listened in silence to her long story and complied with her wishes, which was to carry out a workshop on a different topic to the one suggested, with herself at the centre. I felt ignored and overlooked and as if I did not exist. Myself and the rest of the group were demoted to onlookers rather than active participants. This woman is an MZ womb twin survivor and she knows that. She had come to the worshop out of desperation, needing my help.
Here was her Beta self, of dependency and vulnerability, concealed behind her great skill and power to manipulate a group of people into compliance with her wishes ( Alpha energy). The two energies worked together in her personality, Alpha and Beta, each with a different need: the Alpha demanded absolute power and the Beta was a Black Hole of neediness.
Only in the centre of a supportive group could the healing proceed, for the MZ womb twin survivor does not know if he or she is in the land of the living or in the land of the dead. This doubt in her own existance in this world was clearly communicated to me, so that I ceased to exist and had no power or voice. I became her Beta twin and her Alpha could rule the roost for the next hour and a half.
The daily practice of dominating people, and from time to time giving them a severe case of existantial doubt, was this persons way to try and heal herself of the Alpha/Bete split in her psyche. The life of a sole surviving MZ twin is not easy.
To relate this to being an identical twin survivor is quite simple: all you have to do is to examine how you feel when you are with them. If you are with someone who always claims the centre stage, that puts them in the No1 position while by default you are forced to adopt the No 2 position.
Here is a typical and often repeated example:a narsissistic individual attended one of my seminar/workshops. She was so dominant in the group that 10 other people listened in silence to her long story and complied with her wishes, which was to carry out a workshop on a different topic to the one suggested, with herself at the centre. I felt ignored and overlooked and as if I did not exist. Myself and the rest of the group were demoted to onlookers rather than active participants. This woman is an MZ womb twin survivor and she knows that. She had come to the worshop out of desperation, needing my help.
Here was her Beta self, of dependency and vulnerability, concealed behind her great skill and power to manipulate a group of people into compliance with her wishes ( Alpha energy). The two energies worked together in her personality, Alpha and Beta, each with a different need: the Alpha demanded absolute power and the Beta was a Black Hole of neediness.
Only in the centre of a supportive group could the healing proceed, for the MZ womb twin survivor does not know if he or she is in the land of the living or in the land of the dead. This doubt in her own existance in this world was clearly communicated to me, so that I ceased to exist and had no power or voice. I became her Beta twin and her Alpha could rule the roost for the next hour and a half.
The daily practice of dominating people, and from time to time giving them a severe case of existantial doubt, was this persons way to try and heal herself of the Alpha/Bete split in her psyche. The life of a sole surviving MZ twin is not easy.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
The narcissistic identical twin: (4) the cleverest person in the room
This is yet another aspect of DSM definition
(2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
Watching two MZ twins alive together, one takes the dominant Alpha part, the other the compliant Beta part. When one MZ twin dies the sole survivor takes over the life and role of the lost twin to keep the twin pair alive in fantasy.
But what if the Alpha twin survives (it is usually this way) but the Beta twin was not developing properly and never developed a proper brain? What then? What would there be in the mind of the survivor with which to rebuild that original scenario in fantasy?
In the Dream of the Womb, the Alpha twin was always the most dominant, clever, active and powerful. That was in the Dream and that is constantly re enacted in born life. This is the most obvious sign of narcissism - to insist on being the "cleverest person in the room". This means to dominate the conversation, to always insist on being right about everything, to hate being corrected, have anyone argue with them or to be seen learning new ideas. This neatly acts out the Alpha role of being the only person with a brain.
A fascinating effect of this is to leave the other person , however witty clever and well educated they may be, feeling like a brainless fool in the presence of the narcissistic person. They have " become the Beta twin" with no brain and no capacity to think or reply. Once they leave the presence of the narcissistic person, all their Alpha energy returns and they think of all the brilliant reposts they could have made and wonder why it was so difficult to talk back when in the presence of the narcissistic person.
The sole survivor of an MZ pair where one was brainless, and who truly was once the cleverest person on the womb, lives out their Dream of the Womb by insisting on being the cleverest person in the room.
This is not intellectual arrogance but a survival mechanism - to be the brainless person would mean being the Beta twin and be overwhelmed by the Alpha twin and be totally annihilated. This is not just intelligent debate, this is life and death.
(2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
Watching two MZ twins alive together, one takes the dominant Alpha part, the other the compliant Beta part. When one MZ twin dies the sole survivor takes over the life and role of the lost twin to keep the twin pair alive in fantasy.
But what if the Alpha twin survives (it is usually this way) but the Beta twin was not developing properly and never developed a proper brain? What then? What would there be in the mind of the survivor with which to rebuild that original scenario in fantasy?
In the Dream of the Womb, the Alpha twin was always the most dominant, clever, active and powerful. That was in the Dream and that is constantly re enacted in born life. This is the most obvious sign of narcissism - to insist on being the "cleverest person in the room". This means to dominate the conversation, to always insist on being right about everything, to hate being corrected, have anyone argue with them or to be seen learning new ideas. This neatly acts out the Alpha role of being the only person with a brain.
A fascinating effect of this is to leave the other person , however witty clever and well educated they may be, feeling like a brainless fool in the presence of the narcissistic person. They have " become the Beta twin" with no brain and no capacity to think or reply. Once they leave the presence of the narcissistic person, all their Alpha energy returns and they think of all the brilliant reposts they could have made and wonder why it was so difficult to talk back when in the presence of the narcissistic person.
The sole survivor of an MZ pair where one was brainless, and who truly was once the cleverest person on the womb, lives out their Dream of the Womb by insisting on being the cleverest person in the room.
This is not intellectual arrogance but a survival mechanism - to be the brainless person would mean being the Beta twin and be overwhelmed by the Alpha twin and be totally annihilated. This is not just intelligent debate, this is life and death.
Friday, March 11, 2011
The narcissistic womb twin survivor (3) ideal love
The criterion today is one left from yesterday that has the strongest connection to the loss of a twin:
(2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
The question of IDEAL LOVE
There is within the narcissistic womb twin survivor a constant yearning for the lost half of themselves.
(2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
The question of IDEAL LOVE
There is within the narcissistic womb twin survivor a constant yearning for the lost half of themselves.
The falsely contructed illusion is one of perfection where the narcissist is unable to perceive that he has any flaws, however the world around him and the people in it are all deeply flawed. He seeks out perfection in others to find his ideal love or true match. Although he may initially believe he has found his perfect partner, he is quickly disappointed when the partner begins to invite him to see another perspective that isn't based on his image of perfection. [more from this site]
There have been countless attempts to explain why this yearning exists, and why it is so all-consuming. It seems to be love for oneself, but in this case the self is in the mirror, in every way reversed. Yet to keep gazing upon this mirror image of himself Narcissus ignored everyone else, including the Nymph, Echo, who loved him deeply, focused only on this life-long, self-imposed task and in the end died alone and unfulfilled.
My small experience of identical (MZ) womb twin survivors shows that they are deeply concerned about themselves, as if they have a deep sense of weakness, inadequacy and failure that they must constantly seek to overcome. The only answer is to be reunited with their lost other half. This is the ideal relationship that would make them whole again. Narcissism is therefore a perfectly reasonable, but misplaced attempt to replace the irreplaceable. It is futile, but nevertheless the yearning remains, even until death.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
The narcissistic womb twin survivor (2) self-worth
The DSM criterion in this case is:
2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love [see here]
SELF WORTH. The fantasy of being the very best, most brilliant etc. This is a question of "self worth", which is of major importance to the MZ womb twin survivor. They translate a slight uneasiness at being here at all (let alone inheriting all the womb space food etc when their twin died) into the issue of self worth. Because deep down they feel undeserving, they must justify their existence and will insist that they are "worth it" or they "deserve it." The real situation, the real memory, is that they were the one to survive, when their twin did not, which means they truly were the strongest and fittest to survive. But that strength is now a major emotional issue. Survivor guilt takes all the joy out of it. Also, closely identified with their own Beta twin, the MZ womb twin survivor readily feels small, useless and "thrown away."
What a conflict! What a paradox! To know that at the very beginning of your life you truly were the superior one, yet in born life to feel as if you are not of any value at all. To carry these contradictory feelings all at the same time! That is a difficult balance to maintain.
The only way to find balance is to try and excel at what you do and and make much of it, never letting anyone forget how wonderful you are, for fear they they will see the anxious little Beta face behind the Alpha mask.....
2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love [see here]
SELF WORTH. The fantasy of being the very best, most brilliant etc. This is a question of "self worth", which is of major importance to the MZ womb twin survivor. They translate a slight uneasiness at being here at all (let alone inheriting all the womb space food etc when their twin died) into the issue of self worth. Because deep down they feel undeserving, they must justify their existence and will insist that they are "worth it" or they "deserve it." The real situation, the real memory, is that they were the one to survive, when their twin did not, which means they truly were the strongest and fittest to survive. But that strength is now a major emotional issue. Survivor guilt takes all the joy out of it. Also, closely identified with their own Beta twin, the MZ womb twin survivor readily feels small, useless and "thrown away."
What a conflict! What a paradox! To know that at the very beginning of your life you truly were the superior one, yet in born life to feel as if you are not of any value at all. To carry these contradictory feelings all at the same time! That is a difficult balance to maintain.
The only way to find balance is to try and excel at what you do and and make much of it, never letting anyone forget how wonderful you are, for fear they they will see the anxious little Beta face behind the Alpha mask.....
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
Narcissistic womb twin survivors (1) self esteem
Some time ago, I came to the somewhat astonishing conclusion that the sole survivors of a monozygotic pregnancy ( identical twins) show signs of narcissism, to the extent that I have come to believe that what we define as "narcissism" is in fact a spectrum of personality characteristics that all monozygotic twin survivors possess.
In other words, I believe that all narcissistic people are the sole survivors of a monozygotic pregnancy.
Now I dont expect you, dear reader, to agree to this immediately, so over the new few days I am going to set out the arguments one by one to show how they work.
TWO PEOPLE IN ONE
The main characteristic of the sole survivor of identical twins ( ie. when one twin dies in born life) is that the survivor takes on some of the characteristics of the dead twin, as if to keep them spiritually "alive". This is a known effect among live-born twin pairs when one twin dies. Womb twin survivors show the same effects, the difference being that most of them have no idea why they feel as they do, because every one tells them that "we don't remember the womb". Every other characteristic of narcissism is related to that effect.
SELF ESTEEM
The most obvious characteristic of narcissistic people is grandiosity, an exaggerated sense of one's own importance. There is some disagreement among the people who discuss these things as to whether narcissism is driven by a very high self esteem or a very low self esteem. This is a significant factor because if the monozygotic( MZ) womb twin survivor is keeping their little Beta twin alive in their life by in some sense " becoming their own Beta twin," then it follows they they will be two people in one. One personality the Alpha twin will be the biggest, strongest and most dominant, the triumphant Alpha survivor, showing signs of a very high self esteem. The other will be the tiny, weak, compliant Beta twin, who is passive and humble and acutely aware of how small and insignificant he or she is against the Alpha twin - showing signs of low self esteem.
The result is suffering. "I am a worthless individual," says the Beta personality. "I am the most important person" says the Alpha personality. The inner conflict is painful, so much so that the issue of self esteem dominates the life of the narcissistic person. The pain of being the only survivor, when you have no idea why you are suffering so much because no one told you why, seeks an outlet.
As a consequence, the narcissistic person either "Suffers from low self esteem" themselves or visits their grandiosity on others to reduce their self esteem instead. A painful business indeed.
In other words, I believe that all narcissistic people are the sole survivors of a monozygotic pregnancy.
Now I dont expect you, dear reader, to agree to this immediately, so over the new few days I am going to set out the arguments one by one to show how they work.
TWO PEOPLE IN ONE
The main characteristic of the sole survivor of identical twins ( ie. when one twin dies in born life) is that the survivor takes on some of the characteristics of the dead twin, as if to keep them spiritually "alive". This is a known effect among live-born twin pairs when one twin dies. Womb twin survivors show the same effects, the difference being that most of them have no idea why they feel as they do, because every one tells them that "we don't remember the womb". Every other characteristic of narcissism is related to that effect.
SELF ESTEEM
The most obvious characteristic of narcissistic people is grandiosity, an exaggerated sense of one's own importance. There is some disagreement among the people who discuss these things as to whether narcissism is driven by a very high self esteem or a very low self esteem. This is a significant factor because if the monozygotic( MZ) womb twin survivor is keeping their little Beta twin alive in their life by in some sense " becoming their own Beta twin," then it follows they they will be two people in one. One personality the Alpha twin will be the biggest, strongest and most dominant, the triumphant Alpha survivor, showing signs of a very high self esteem. The other will be the tiny, weak, compliant Beta twin, who is passive and humble and acutely aware of how small and insignificant he or she is against the Alpha twin - showing signs of low self esteem.
The result is suffering. "I am a worthless individual," says the Beta personality. "I am the most important person" says the Alpha personality. The inner conflict is painful, so much so that the issue of self esteem dominates the life of the narcissistic person. The pain of being the only survivor, when you have no idea why you are suffering so much because no one told you why, seeks an outlet.
As a consequence, the narcissistic person either "Suffers from low self esteem" themselves or visits their grandiosity on others to reduce their self esteem instead. A painful business indeed.
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
The threat of the Womb Twin hypothesis
The Womb Twin Hypothesis states:
Womb twin survivors spend their lives re-enacting the life and death of their womb twin. Nothing is more important than that, even life itself. Once the real pre-birth scene, which is being constantly re-enacted, is made clear, then the re-enactment tends to diminish or cease altogether, greatly to the benefit of the individual. [more]
The main reason why no one wants to know about the Womb Twin project, or indeed any project involving fetal awareness and womb memories, is that it is far too threating to most mental health professionals.
The very idea that we may remember the womb is deeply unsettling to some people. To believe it would be to "open Pandoras box", to quote Peter Hepper.
Hepper is a psychology professor in Belfast who has worked with fetal awareness and learning for many years, has published extensively on the subject.
( Just one example : McCorry, N. K. and Hepper, P. G. (2007), Fetal habituation performance: Gestational age and sex effects. British Journal of Developmental Psychology, 25: 277–292. )
Professor Hepper knows only too well that his ideas are far too threatening to the received wisdom of most Freudian-trained psychologists, who claim that any memory or impression dating from before the age of three years or so, is a "false memory". This was because Freud put so much focus on incest or child sexual abuse, and not on the nature of memory per se.
Meanwhile, report after report comes out to prove that fetal memory exists.
We remember the womb, and womb twin survivors remember their twin. It is as simple as that, but 90% of the population refuses to believe it - but then 90% of the population are not womb twin survivors, so perhaps it is not so surprising.
Womb twin survivors spend their lives re-enacting the life and death of their womb twin. Nothing is more important than that, even life itself. Once the real pre-birth scene, which is being constantly re-enacted, is made clear, then the re-enactment tends to diminish or cease altogether, greatly to the benefit of the individual. [more]
The main reason why no one wants to know about the Womb Twin project, or indeed any project involving fetal awareness and womb memories, is that it is far too threating to most mental health professionals.
( Thanks for your visit, by the way; there are few visitors to this blog and the associated blogs and sites, so you are especially welcome.... come back soon!)
The very idea that we may remember the womb is deeply unsettling to some people. To believe it would be to "open Pandoras box", to quote Peter Hepper.
Hepper is a psychology professor in Belfast who has worked with fetal awareness and learning for many years, has published extensively on the subject.
( Just one example : McCorry, N. K. and Hepper, P. G. (2007), Fetal habituation performance: Gestational age and sex effects. British Journal of Developmental Psychology, 25: 277–292. )
Professor Hepper knows only too well that his ideas are far too threatening to the received wisdom of most Freudian-trained psychologists, who claim that any memory or impression dating from before the age of three years or so, is a "false memory". This was because Freud put so much focus on incest or child sexual abuse, and not on the nature of memory per se.
Meanwhile, report after report comes out to prove that fetal memory exists.
We remember the womb, and womb twin survivors remember their twin. It is as simple as that, but 90% of the population refuses to believe it - but then 90% of the population are not womb twin survivors, so perhaps it is not so surprising.
Monday, March 07, 2011
Homosexuality and womb twin survivors
When identical twins differ in their sexual orientation, this makes for an interesting exchange of views, as this Hub page demonstrates:
Two identical brothers, one gay, one straight, argue the issue of same-sex marriage.
Read more here
But the whole argument is based on several false premises
1. Even in the first split of the single zygote there can be inequalities or anomalies ( see mirror twins, Turners syndrome)
2. As I explained in a previous post when we see a twin pair we may be seeing a reduced multiple set, or triplets or even quads
3. The desire for a same sex marriage is a pre-birth story on both sides, of two womb twin survivors who are trying to reinstate their missing twin. Where each is the sole survivor of a triplet set, they may even want to have children to completely restore their Dream of the Womb. It gets complicated. Ask anyone in a codependent relationship about their desire for a Twin Soul.)
Two identical brothers, one gay, one straight, argue the issue of same-sex marriage.
Read more here
But the whole argument is based on several false premises
- That all monozygotic twins are genetically identical - WRONG
- That a twin pair is, and has always been, just a twin pair - WRONG
- That same-sex marriage is do to with sexuality and adult feelings - WRONG.
1. Even in the first split of the single zygote there can be inequalities or anomalies ( see mirror twins, Turners syndrome)
2. As I explained in a previous post when we see a twin pair we may be seeing a reduced multiple set, or triplets or even quads
3. The desire for a same sex marriage is a pre-birth story on both sides, of two womb twin survivors who are trying to reinstate their missing twin. Where each is the sole survivor of a triplet set, they may even want to have children to completely restore their Dream of the Womb. It gets complicated. Ask anyone in a codependent relationship about their desire for a Twin Soul.)
Sunday, March 06, 2011
How can you know if your child is a womb twin survivor?
Here is the list of characteristic signs commonly displayed by young womb twin survivors. This has been compiled from various studies and e-mail correspondence with womb twin survivors and their parents.
* My child is very sensitive to atmosphere
* My child does not like to sleep alone in the dark
* My child is unusually aware of how people are feeling
* My child has a rich, creative imagination
* My child talks a lot about death and dying
* My child loves animals and yearns for a pet
* My child is different from other children
* My child seems to have “been here before”
* My child has an imaginary friend
* My child is interested in spirituality
* My child often seems lost and alone
* My child is hypersensitive
Of course there may be ultrasound evidence. The little lost twins have often quite disappeared by 8 weeks or so, so its the assisted pregnancies that reveal the vanished twins more often, simply because they are so carefully monitored.
For example, on this pregnancy forum here:
Or when things get very confusing, because early ultrasounds are rarely clear enough to work out what has happened
And that sense of being alone in the experience of losing one twin early in pregnancy.
No one thinks about the possible psychological consequences for the survivor, because the parents have to wait and watch the remaining baby grow and see if all is well in the end. Much later, by the age of two, it becomes clear that this baby is different in some way. Then the parents visit the children's page on the web site and we begin discuss the issues.
Gradually, we are working together to find ways to help these children. If you are the parent of a vanishing twin survivor, you may like to join in with our explorations.
* My child is very sensitive to atmosphere
* My child does not like to sleep alone in the dark
* My child is unusually aware of how people are feeling
* My child has a rich, creative imagination
* My child talks a lot about death and dying
* My child loves animals and yearns for a pet
* My child is different from other children
* My child seems to have “been here before”
* My child has an imaginary friend
* My child is interested in spirituality
* My child often seems lost and alone
* My child is hypersensitive
Of course there may be ultrasound evidence. The little lost twins have often quite disappeared by 8 weeks or so, so its the assisted pregnancies that reveal the vanished twins more often, simply because they are so carefully monitored.
For example, on this pregnancy forum here:
Or when things get very confusing, because early ultrasounds are rarely clear enough to work out what has happened
And that sense of being alone in the experience of losing one twin early in pregnancy.
No one thinks about the possible psychological consequences for the survivor, because the parents have to wait and watch the remaining baby grow and see if all is well in the end. Much later, by the age of two, it becomes clear that this baby is different in some way. Then the parents visit the children's page on the web site and we begin discuss the issues.
Gradually, we are working together to find ways to help these children. If you are the parent of a vanishing twin survivor, you may like to join in with our explorations.
Saturday, March 05, 2011
WombTwin kids: A logo, and a request for help
Spent yesterday completing the new wombtwin survivors web site, and one of the final pages is for the children and our new project to help them. [ see here]
We have a new logo and a new request: can you help?
We have a new logo and a new request: can you help?
Friday, March 04, 2011
The WombTwin Kids project
Its time now to help the very youngest womb twin survivors. What can we do for babies and preschool children? Now the new book is available for printing (have you ordered yours yet?) its time to develop and deliver the Womb Twin Kids project.
I have been in touch with Rara Schlitt, who is a gifted and sensitive children's book illustrator.
She has created for me 13 beautiful illustrations for the next Womb twin book, "Two little birds." This is an allegory of the loss of a twin, about two little birds who hatched out of the same egg and specially created for young children to read with their parents.
In May and June we will be holding some play therapy sessions for preschool womb twin survivors with their parents. If you live within reach of St Albans in Hertfordshire, England, contact me and come and join in the fun.
If you have a child who is a womb twin survivor, please make a comment here about what has been difficult, what are the rewards, in fact, anything you want to say!
Together we can create some play materials and books to help young womb twin survivors come to terms with their loss and make it easier for parents to talk to them about it.
Looking forward to your comments, and thanks in advance for your help!
I have been in touch with Rara Schlitt, who is a gifted and sensitive children's book illustrator.
She has created for me 13 beautiful illustrations for the next Womb twin book, "Two little birds." This is an allegory of the loss of a twin, about two little birds who hatched out of the same egg and specially created for young children to read with their parents.
In May and June we will be holding some play therapy sessions for preschool womb twin survivors with their parents. If you live within reach of St Albans in Hertfordshire, England, contact me and come and join in the fun.
If you have a child who is a womb twin survivor, please make a comment here about what has been difficult, what are the rewards, in fact, anything you want to say!
Together we can create some play materials and books to help young womb twin survivors come to terms with their loss and make it easier for parents to talk to them about it.
Looking forward to your comments, and thanks in advance for your help!
Thursday, March 03, 2011
When is a twin, a twin?
The comment on yesterdays post set me thinking again about, what is a twin? When we see a twin pair walking about, what are we looking at?
IDENTICAL ( monozygotic) twins
We now know that the loss of a womb mate before birth has a profound physical and psychological effect on the survivor and that effect varies with zygosity. That means that fraternal twins may include a monozygotic womb twin survivor, and it is known that monozygotic womb twin survivors are at particular risk of such things as cerebral palsy and developmental abnormalities such as split organs. This is not mention the psychological effects, which the WombTwin research project has only just begun to explore. (More here)
Twin research is at risk of getting false results if they dont take this important factor into account.
IDENTICAL ( monozygotic) twins
- They may be two survivors of a monozygotic triplet or even a quadruplet set.
- There could have been a third, non-identical embryo that was there for just a little while. That is common in IVF where more than one embryo is transferred. Monozygotic twins are more often found in IVF pregnancies than naturally conceived pregnancies.
- There may have been an extra non-identical embryo (or more than one) that only lived for a little while
- One of the twins may be the sole survivor of a monozygotic pair
- Each twin may be the survivor of a different monozygotic pair (originally a quadruplet pregnancy)
We now know that the loss of a womb mate before birth has a profound physical and psychological effect on the survivor and that effect varies with zygosity. That means that fraternal twins may include a monozygotic womb twin survivor, and it is known that monozygotic womb twin survivors are at particular risk of such things as cerebral palsy and developmental abnormalities such as split organs. This is not mention the psychological effects, which the WombTwin research project has only just begun to explore. (More here)
Twin research is at risk of getting false results if they dont take this important factor into account.
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
King George VI - womb twin survivor?
Everyone is talking about the King's stammer, and the fact that he was once left handed but was retrained.
Does that mean he is a womb twin survivor? There is a well-known connection between left-handedness and monozygotic ( identical) twinning and is possible that all left-handed people are womb twin survivors.
As for his stammer, there was more to this, in that he also had a slight speech defect over the letter R. You can listen to the original speech that he made before his speech therapy in 1938 on Pathe News.
Watch movie and listen to the speech on the Pathe web site
Left handedness is said to be due to a later splitting of the original zygote, so that the split is into two mirrored halves rather than into two individuals. Conjoined twins often have mirrored organs, including having the heart on the wrong side.
Does that mean he is a womb twin survivor? There is a well-known connection between left-handedness and monozygotic ( identical) twinning and is possible that all left-handed people are womb twin survivors.
As for his stammer, there was more to this, in that he also had a slight speech defect over the letter R. You can listen to the original speech that he made before his speech therapy in 1938 on Pathe News.
Watch movie and listen to the speech on the Pathe web site
Left handedness is said to be due to a later splitting of the original zygote, so that the split is into two mirrored halves rather than into two individuals. Conjoined twins often have mirrored organs, including having the heart on the wrong side.
There are many other left handers in the royal family today, including Prince Charles and Prince William.
My father Edmund Wigan worked with Dr Stephen Black, a neurologist, in the 1960s. Dr Black used hypnotic regression with his patients, and one man had a stammer. Dr Black regressed him to age 5 or so, when he began to speak normally. It was at this stage that he had been forced to write with his right hand rather than his left, which had been his preference until then. My father was most impressed by this and told us, - I have never forgotten. I haven't been able to find a link to a published article on this, but there is some anecdotal evidence - strange, I would have thought that some research would be very easy to do.
All in all, being forced to turn yourself into your lost right-handed mirror twin would be enough to upset anyone. It has been called "child abuse" to force left handed children to write right-handed.
A lot to think about here. We need more research. We now know how to identify womb twin survivors and we should be looking everywhere for signs and signals, such as stammering or forced right-handedness, - that may solve a lot of mysteries!
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
The new book: "Womb twin survivors" out today!
The complimentary copies, that will be sent to my lovely writing mentors; the people who checked the words, gave feedback and support at every turn; not to mention the winner of the WOMBTWIN sentence competition, are to be posted shortly.
The advance orders will be fulfilled just as soon as I am able to get payment, parcel them up and get them to a post office.
There are a few last-minute revisions for Lightning Source to process, and once those are settled, in the next few days, the book will be available to order from:
Wren Publications (Thats me: I'll send them out as soon as they are delivered to me, so feel free to place an order now, just don't hold your breath.....)
All Amazon online outlets including:
Amazon.com
Amazon.co.uk
Amazon.de
Any street bookshop (just quote ISBN 978-0-9557808-2-0)
I wonder what I used to do before I had a book to write? I suppose that, now its over, I am about the find out!!
Hoping to meet some of you in Nottingham on Saturday (see here)
The advance orders will be fulfilled just as soon as I am able to get payment, parcel them up and get them to a post office.
There are a few last-minute revisions for Lightning Source to process, and once those are settled, in the next few days, the book will be available to order from:
Wren Publications (Thats me: I'll send them out as soon as they are delivered to me, so feel free to place an order now, just don't hold your breath.....)
All Amazon online outlets including:
Amazon.com
Amazon.co.uk
Amazon.de
Any street bookshop (just quote ISBN 978-0-9557808-2-0)
I wonder what I used to do before I had a book to write? I suppose that, now its over, I am about the find out!!
Hoping to meet some of you in Nottingham on Saturday (see here)
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