Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Womb twin story: I always want two of everything

My mother always told me when I was young that I was supposed to have had a twin. I used to make jokes that the reason I have multi-personality disorder was because when my mom was pregnant with me I ate my twin.   I don't really have multi-personality disorder in the psychotic clinical sense, but I do personality wise. 


In high school I would dress according to how I felt that day, whether it be preppy, bad girl, weird girl, nerdy girl, tomboy, etc. I also listen to all kinds of music. simple decisions take me forever. example, picking out a shirt, I narrow it down to 2 or 3 then it takes me forever comparing them, then later on I think, I should have gotten the other one.

This is my dilemma for buying pretty much anything.  If I really like something I want two. I don't know why, I have always been this way.  If things aren't symmetrical it drives me nuts. I try to keep everything symmetrical, which is probably why I crave 2 of whatever.

I read something online once about surviving vanished twins that had the same problems, which freaked me out and i havent been able to find it since. I also read that they have trouble getting to sleep no matter how tired they are, which I have been doing since as far back as I can remember, at least 4 years old.

I have always felt like I'm not really who I am. Like my personality changes too often to really know who I am.  I'm a girl, but I am really un-girly a lot of the time, for the most part girls get on my nerves. I am a very paranoid person, I have a problem with eating, I am never full. Which is probably just from being depressed.


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