It was first suggested to me that I might have been a twin when I did a painting about my birth.... it was like the figure 8... top blue and bottom pink.
I feel I have always been searching in my life, what that is I don't know. I have been in therapy a long time and still have deep extreme opposite experiences, like I am afraid to live and that it would be better to die.
I feel totally split at times as if I am two personalities. One that everyone sees and one that is hidden. sometimes I write that there are two people, a boy and a girl.
When a twin dies before birth, the sole survivor needs help and understanding. Womb twin survivors are the sole survivors of a twin or multiple pregnancy. This group, 1 in 10 of the population, includes survivors of a stillbirth, miscarriage, abortion and a "vanishing twin" pregnancy. It is a story of a twin bond broken by death, leaving a lonely survivor.
I can see myself a lot in your story. I also have been to therapy so long and am still afraid to live. I feel like a girl but sometimes think I should be a boy. Or think that I should better die. Also I get very attached with fictional characters and when they die I feel personally affected and left alone and cry a lot. But I don't really know what to make of it. It's a pity your story was so short I'd like to have read more.
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