Tuesday, January 28, 2014

My sensitive son is a womb twin survivor - his story

A mother emailed us with this story - she wishes to remain anonymous.

The miscarried twin was a boy, and it was fraternal. First, let me tell you that Tom ( aged 9) is a wonderful, well adjusted, intelligent and beautiful boy. He excels in school, baseball and piano. He is sometimes awkward with his behavior around other children. It’s like he wants to lead…but yet is uncomfortable in the lead role. I did read the link for  parents of womb twin survivors. It was interesting that Tom has many of the traits that were listed.
Starting at the top, he is extremely sensitive to the atmosphere around him. I know – through him – if the barometric pressure is negative. After exhausting all other causes, i.e., migraines, allergies, etc., the doctor said it appears that he is just sensitive to the air pressure causing sever sinus headaches.   Up until recently, not only would he not sleep in the dark, but he would not enter a dark room. He wouldn’t freak out but he would just ask for me to put on a light first while standing outside the door. I chalked it up to normal childhood fears ...

 ........but it became almost an obsession. I could be standing right at the door and he would not step into the darkened room. It has gotten a little better in the last year or so.   He is a very sensitive child, especially to animals or other children.

I have also been told by a number of teachers that he gravitates toward mentally challenged children on the playground or in his integrated class room. He is extremely patient and helpful with these students and very protective.   He does have a very creative imagination. He loves to draw and aspires to becoming an architect. Some of his designs are interesting, to say the least…

 My mother, his grandmother,  is 88 years old and very active and healthy. They have a very special bond and spend a lot of time together. I was worried that when her time came, it would devastate him so I tried to talk to him about dying and death in a somewhat casual way from a relatively early age. We volunteered at a nursing home – just visiting some lonely shut-ins and never kept the news of a deceased friend or relative from him, trying to let him know that it IS sad, but a part of living. We do have a strong spiritual presence in our home and that is significant in our conversations. AS a matter of fact, in any conversations about his twin, spirituality is a big topic.

 He loves animals deeply and although we have a cat – that he adores – he constantly asks for another pet…dog, hamster, bird, fish, ect.  As a single mom and a one pay-check household, I must put my foot down with the cat…but he can’t help but ask, you never know when I might change my mind.  

Although he has never had your typical “imaginary friend”, he has a stuffed bear that was given to him when he was about 6 months old. He had an immediate attachment and Bear-bear had a place at the table, in the car and on every air-plane vacation we ever took… and to this day he talks to him and sleeps “spooning” with Bear-bear. We chuckle about it because he’s going to be 10 in June and he’ll even joke that Bear-bear will be along for the trip to college.   He is not a loner, nor is he hypersensitive…although he is very sensitive…he cries at movies, commercials, and whenever he sees someone else crying, but I just think he’s sweet and empathetic. He doesn’t mind physical touch…as a matter of fact, he can be regularly found sitting on my lap to watch TV – all 5 feet of him…

   I hope this information helps. I would like to find out if this event has shaped his persona in any way. I had never heard that there was research being done on this. Interesting fact, my mother is a twin and her twin died about a month after birth.

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