Well, the first result doesn't include the "being alone" question, because that question had a glitch and I have some missing data. It's just a quick calculation of how strongly everyone felt about all the questions, and gave them the highest score. A=5, B=4, C=3, D=2, No longer =1

Apart from the loneliness thing, these are the top ten. All very close, but this is the order.

1. All my life I have felt in some way "incomplete"
2. I fear abandonment or rejection
3. I feel different from other people
4. I have been searching for something all my life but I don’t know what it is
5. There are two very different sides to my character
6. I tend to hold on to things
7. I have a problem with expressing anger - either there is too much or too little
8. All my life I have felt restless and unsettled
9. I feel the pain of others as if it were my own

Do these describe the character of a wombtwin survivor? I wonder. They sound predictable enough. The "incomplete" idea sounds very appropriate! The hoarding isn't there as I thought, but the "holding onto things" is - which is part of hoarding, after all. The anger is a surprise, but then wombtwin survivor children are prone to tantrums (including me!) so maybe that just goes on into adulthood. I used to be angry about absolutely everything until I understood what I was wrong - most of my anger wasn't mine. I was being a "lightning conductor" for other people's unexpressed anger, trying to diffuse a difficult atmosphere.

More later.

The question "There is at least one room (including shed or garage) in my home that is completely full of stuff" has produced an unexpected result. Surviving twins, whose twin was stillborn or died close to birth, are very likely to be hoarders, more so than other wombtwin survivors. Hoarders collect multiple, identical versions of the same kind of thing and gather the whole collection in their home and hold on tight, never to let go. Is this some kind of symbolic behaviour, related to not wanting your twin to be taken away? I put this question in because it was being mentioned quite a lot in the stories but it seems that there is a lot of hoarding going on, and it usually gets an A. Not a teeny weeny bit of clutter, like a glory hole under the stairs: this is a whole area of the home sacrificed to the stuff. Now I have over 200 forms returned the research is getting more and more fascinating!

A nice little break, thinking abut this. How back to data entry. Only 40 to go now.Then there will be silence while I analyse it all. More on this later.

I have been posting recently on a sceptics' forum, talking about the "Untwinned anthology. " Am I a glutton for punishment?

Here is my take on scepticism following this experience: Sceptics, like intellectuals generally, paradoxically display a high degree of confidence in their philosophical position, when in reality their self-esteem tends to be low. Some people are drawn to the philosophy of scepticism during their adolescent years as a result of feeling intellecually weak and helpless. By the age of 14, any intelligent person begins to recognise how little he or she can possibly know for sure. If an individual also has narcissistic tendencies, any feeling of being inferior to anyone else, in any sense whatever, is very uncomfortable. The only way to maintain a good self-esteem therefore, is to keep in mind one's own intellectual brillance and, in the absence of any other expertise, to become brilliant at debunking any theory, anywhere, just for the sake of it.

In pursuit of this ideal state, the fledgling sceptic finds somewhere firm to stand amid the chaos of infinite possibility that is life as it is. The safest place of course is not to believe anything, but to remain doubtful, watchful, cagey, defensive. To never offer an opinion unless it can be held as morally correct to say, and of course totally accepted by others as "purely one's own version of the truth." From these humble beginnings, sceptics learn to use their chosen philosophy for protection, creating a facade of intellectual invincibility.

Initially, this is tried out in endless circular arguments late at night with fellow teenagers, and later to forums on the Internet. As years pass, the characteristic demand for proof, certainly, replicability and endless dissection of ideas intensifies. To compensate for his insecurities, the sceptic escalates the rigor of doubt and constant questioning until he or she can appear more intimidating than the other, in a sort of vicious cycle.

It is a battle of minds, with each new creative idea a new challenge for destruction. Yet this is creative, for in the bloody arena of scepticism, where ideas like gladiators must slog it out and struggle to survive, only the strongest ideas will make it. Thus, in a paradoxical way, scepticism is protective of other less sceptical thinkers. Anyone naive enough to think that an idea can stand without much to substantiate it - except a deep intutive sense of the truth of it, backed up by a general ageement as to the probable truth - is welcomed to the sceptics arena, where the weapons of intellectual combat will be applied to hone and shape those ideas into something much stronger, which will either die or soon be robust enough to take out into the world, where it will stand firm.

As a result of this run-in with a bunch of sceptics on a forum, I feel as f I have been subjected to an essential training course in being robust, but VERY careful what I say and how I say it. I am grateful for that! I do tend towards being a bit ingenuous......

However because of this rather unpleasant experience - of being taken apart by some strangers who seemed to think they knew more about this subject than me and had the right to insult me, (yes, there were a few who were kind and that did help) I will not be posting again. I told them my book was properly referenced, and they complained because I didn't show them the references! I guess they thought I was lying. I haven't bothered to count them all, but there must be several hundred references. If they are that interested, let them buy the book, I say.

Rather than more of this, I have subscribed to a regular skeptic magazine podcast. They mentioned "missing pregnancies" and related this to alien abduction. YAWN!!! (This does not help my project one bit I must say! ) Now I can wander the footpaths of Hertfordshire with my ipod and listen more to their mind games and see if there is any more to be learned from this very odd but amazingly clever bunch of people, who are sounding more and more like indigo adults at every turn.

Today I have begun the mammoth task of entering all the data from the questionnaires. I now have 198 questionnaires, and I await that magic 200 number and expect that to be reached today.

I have got a new database management programe, FileMaker Pro, but it looks like good old Excel is the way to start. I put in 14 data sets last night and I am wondering how many sets I can do in a day to get the 200 sets of data all in there. Then of course I have to analyse it all.........

My thoughts so far are these:

I can easily find out the most commonly answered question. ( I already know that, its "Deep down I feel alone, even among friends" and about 95% of respondents have made this an A answer. )

I can break the groups into five:

1. Twinless twins whose twin died after birth
2. Wombtwin survivors whose twin was stillborn.
3. Wombtwin survivors whose twin was miscarried and expelled from the womb
4 Wombtwin survivors whos twin remained alongside, gradually fading
5 Wombtwin survivors whose twin (or the stem cells at least) was taken up into the body of the survivor, "the twin within".

Within these groups I could compare monozygotic twin survivors with dizygotic twin survivors and also triplet survivors. However not many people are sure of the zygosity of their dead twin and even doctors tend to guess, so that would be a problematical division to make accurately.

An unexpected result is how many wombtwin survivors collect stuff, hold on to things and find it hard to let go of unfinished projects. That's a pretty clear womb story: lets hold on tight and not let go. I await that statistic with interest!

As for those statistical correlations , I'm stumped. Any mathematicians out there ready to lend a hand?

Well! That was amazing. I got 20 secs on the midday news , the same in the evening and again early the following day. The result was a 1000 hit spike on the website and 25 forms completed that evening. In three days I have 47 new forms to look at. That brings the number of forms completed in this round (the fifth) to almost 200. This is good, the eventual data will be that much more compelling. And still the most characteristic response (98%) remains:

"Deep down, I feel alone, even among friends." That makes sense, in the circumstances.

There has also been some Google activity. My actual words (20 secs worth) have got onto a TV site, which is interesting! I've put a link in the links list to that.

I also spent some time on a site for sceptics: a VERY interesting, if a little bruising, experience! Sceptics seem to have a closed - minded, highly defensive approach to new knowledge. They seem to be very afraid of making fools of themselves , so they carp on and on about claims, post hoc thinking, evidence, double-blind studies, and peer review and all that stuff. They seem to want this all wrapped up, neat and tight, day one. They even got paranoid about why I was there at all, like I wanted an extra Google hit!! It was a real feeding frenzy. Fascinating. Not that I'm not doing all that scientific , of course. I've got to, in this terrified, cynical world.

I am slowly and reluctantly climbing on the scientific bandwagon, pushing paranoid sceptics to one side and trying to find highly respected individuals with a little clout to back up my story. I am creating a scholarly article (with 34 refs so far!) for a professional journal etc.etc. etc. So tedious when people everywhere are crying out for help and understanding.

Meanwhile, as I struggle on with this, 20 secs on ITN instantly calls forth 1000 hits and great cry for help from people who have always thought they once had a twin and here at last is someone who seems to believe them.

I wonder: are sceptics wombtwin survivors? That would be fun to explore! I know at least one, who at the very earliest stage (and knowing only a fraction of what I know) was happy to chuck the word "baloney" to me several times and seemed to want to fight me over it....I didn't. I don't play that game. Is this narcissism? I wonder. More later on that one!

Well yesterday I discovered on the TAMBA forum that ITN were looking for a family with a vanished twin. I decided to send them my press release. As a result I got a call last evening asking me to come for an interview. This I did and got home in time to see me (Oh dear is THAT what I really look like??) on the ITV news today 15th Feb, 1.30pm and 6.30pm GMT. A tiny little snippet, but it's a start.

I also had 5 questionnaire forms waiting for a response. The most ever in one day. I make a personal response to each one. I spent the last couple of days putting some tiny little explanatory boxes on each of the first set of questions, to make sure that the respondents understand what they are answering. They click a question mark and there it is. Amazing. They may have helped.

Untwinned - Perspectives on the death of a twin before birth

We have arranged for a press release to be syndicated, and it has gone out all over the place! Very slowly interest is beginning to kindle.

Survivors of 'Vanishing Twin' Phenomenon Tell the World how They Remember Life in the Womb

A new book, edited by Althea Hayton, tells the untold story of how it really feels to be the survivor when a co-twin twin dies in the womb -- a "wombtwin" survivor. In her anthology: "Untwinned: perspectives on the death of a twin before birth," Althea Hayton has opened up the inside story of how it feels to be a "wombtwin" survivor: ie., to be the survivor of "vanishing twin" phenomenon or if a co-twin is stillborn. One in 8 people are a wombtwin survivor -- that is a lot of people. Furthermore, experts now know that the loss of a twin before birth can cause psychological problems, such as suicidal thoughts, eating disorders and depression.

St. Albans, UK (PRWeb) February 11, 2007 -- A new book, edited by Althea Hayton, tells the untold story of how it really feels to be the survivor when a co-twin twin dies in the womb -- a "wombtwin" survivor. In her anthology: "Untwinned: perspectives on the death of a twin before birth," Althea Hayton has opened up the inside story of how it feels to be a "wombtwin" survivor: ie., to be the survivor of "vanishing twin" phenomenon or if a co-twin is stillborn. One in 8 people is a wombtwin survivor -- that is a lot of people. Furthermore, experts now know that the loss of a twin before birth can cause psychological problems, such as suicidal thoughts, eating disorders and depression.

This is a brave new book on a brand new topic that is now in the news. Recent TV coverage of multiple pregnancies, showing unborn twin and triplet foetuses interacting with one another, begs the question: "Do we remember the womb?" There has never before been a book about the psychological effects of losing one's twin before birth, yet most of this information has been available for decades. It is hard to believe that someone could miss a twin they only knew in the womb, but these articles and stories reveal the truth.

Althea Hayton is a writer and counsellor and has studied surviving twins for many years. She has gathered together articles, papers and stories about:
-The death of a twin at birth or before
-"Vanishing twin" phenomenon
-Whether or not we can have memories from the womb
-The psychological effect of being the surviving twin

Louis G. Keith MD PhD, President, Centre for the study if Multiple Birth, Chicago, USA, has provided a foreword. "This book could not have been published at a better time. We are in the middle of an epidemic of twinning," he says. "The author is to be congratulated for her persistence in researching a difficult and little discussed topic which has broad social and ethical implications for all of society."

Many well-known people know they are wombtwin survivors: Jim Broadbent and Justin Timberlake both lost a twin sister at birth. Living through that does leave a deep impression.

"It can be a great gift or a curse. Wombtwin survivors are deeply sensitive and empathetic and many of them are geniuses. However, there can be a dark side -- depression and self sabotage," says Althea. "If there is the smallest chance that some psychological problems are related to the time before birth, then we should at least be asking questions about the mother's pregnancy before we decide what is wrong."

Althea is a woman with a mission: "I want other wombtwin survivors to be helped and healed, as I was, by this crucial piece of personal information." She realised in 2001 that she is a wombtwin survivor, and lost her twin brother in the womb many months before her birth. Her research website, wombtwin.com, offers free information, specialist help and support for wombtwin survivors and their families.

She is already planning her next publication, which will be a collection of true stories, written by wombtwin survivors themselves and sent to her via the site.

AVAILABILITY
This book is available now through the Lightning Source "Print on Demand" so can be ordered from any good bookshop in US or UK for speedy delivery. Also available online via amazon sites.

CONTACT AUTHOR:
Mail: Mrs Althea Hayton c/o Wren Publications PO Box 396 St Albans Herts

Press Contact: Althea Hayton
Company Name: Wren Publications
Website: http://www.wombtwin.com

We start the story here, although we have been at this for 5 years now. With the publication of "Untwinned: perspectives on the death of a twin before birth" just a couple of weeks ago, we are at last beginning to make some progress.

There are three major developments which we will track through this blog:

1. Publications on the subject of being the sole survivor of a twin or multiple pregnancy
2. The creation of an organisation to be called wombtwin.com
3. Notice of meetings, events and all kinds of gatherings of wombtwin survivors