Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Well, the first result doesn't include the "being alone" question, because that question had a glitch and I have some missing data. It's just a quick calculation of how strongly everyone felt about all the questions, and gave them the highest score. A=5, B=4, C=3, D=2, No longer =1

Apart from the loneliness thing, these are the top ten. All very close, but this is the order.
  1. All my life I have felt in some way "incomplete"
  2. I fear abandonment or rejection
  3. I feel different from other people
  4. I have been searching for something all my life but I don’t know what it is
  5. There are two very different sides to my character
  6. I tend to hold on to things
  7. I have a problem with expressing anger - either there is too much or too little
  8. All my life I have felt restless and unsettled
  9. I feel the pain of others as if it were my own
Do these describe the character of a wombtwin survivor? I wonder. They sound predictable enough. The "incomplete" idea sounds very appropriate! The hoarding isn't there as I thought, but the "holding onto things" is - which is part of hoarding, after all. The anger is a surprise, but then wombtwin survivor children are prone to tantrums (including me!) so maybe that just goes on into adulthood. I used to be angry about absolutely everything until I understood what I was wrong - most of my anger wasn't mine. I was being a "lightning conductor" for other people's unexpressed anger, trying to diffuse a difficult atmosphere.

More later.

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