Womb Twin Survivors

Well, we have spent an age analysing and thinking and here at last is the psychological profile of a wombtwin survivor:

• Deep down, I feel alone, even when I am among friends (70%)
• I have been searching for something all my life but I don’t know what it is (64%)
• I fear abandonment or rejection (62%)
• I know I am not realising my true potential (62%)
• All my life I have felt in some way "incomplete”(61%)

Feeling alone
A deep-rooted sense of isolation is the commonest response among these respondents. The wombtwin survivor can feel alone even among others and may find being physically alone very hard indeed, yet paradoxically they deliberately keep themselves apart from others. They may avoid intimate relationships and may even re-enact the Dream of the Womb by sabotaging good relationships until they are left friendless and alone.

Searching
Some adult survivors report feeling restless, always changing their jobs or moving round the world and never staying anywhere very long. The search continues for Something that will make things right again. Sometimes some short-term respite is found, such as a satisfying job or a loving relationship, but very soon it is time to move on. To settle down and be “loved” feels like a prison. There must always be the chance to keep on moving. This is the search for the lost twin - who is lost and can never be found.

Abandonment or rejection
Nothing causes more pain to a wombtwin survivor than to feel abandoned or rejected. This is just a bit to close to that original experience of being left alone in the womb and losing the closest relationship that Nature can provide. To pre-empt rejection by others, the survivor will constantly seek to appease and will risk becoming a victim of abuse. Rather than experience abandonment, the survivor will work hard to maintain a large group of loyal friends who will always be there, whatever may befall. Rather than be abandoned and left to manage alone, the survivor will remain in a relationship long after all hope is lost of any reconciliation.

Potential
The reenactment of the Dream involves the lost “beta” twin, who didn’t develop adequately but was too weak to survive. Incredibly, the surviving Alpha twin takes on the characteristics of the twin who didn’t make it and remains in some way undeveloped and unfulfilled. Some wombtwin survivors do not learn from their mistakes and do not get the best out of their situation in life but remain a shriveled fragment of the person they could be. It was in fact their wombtwin who ended up as the shriveled fragment. The survivor guilt that many wombtwin survivors feel acts as a drag on their personal development. They remain in a childlike state, acting like a petulant adolescent, depending on their parents yet yearning for autonomy. The hypochondriac wombtwin survivor lives like a helpless infant, terrified of illness and death yet unable to articulate what is wrong.

Incomplete
Many of the emails I receive mention a feeling of something missing. The sense of something missing requires a pre-existing sense of something there, which is now gone. The search for some way to fill the sense of lack - the space left by the missing twin - may take the survivor into an eating disorder or an addiction, both of which are common among wombtwin survivors. These activities are an attempt to heal the primal wound that lies in the Dream of the Womb, but they are also a gradual form of suicide. 57% of the respondents admitted that they regularly and willingly take part in activities that are potentially damaging to their health, wealth or well-being.

So there it is. It make sense, I must say.