Wednesday, June 22, 2011

My twin baby vanished

On this forum Mums discuss their pregnancies. This Mum  said "I had Vanishing Twin Syndrome at my 16 week ultrasound nothing was left at all.. mine happened at 8 weeks... I am now a proud momma to a baby girl.. I still think about the other one sometimes.. I will probably tell her someday that she had a twin..."

The bereavement of mothers who lose one twin is not often considered, as this article shows:-

How Mothers Cope with the Death of a Twin or Higher Multiple

There is such a thing as a Perinatal Greif Scale, and according to this study mothers who lost a twin before birth suffered more because their grief was not acknowledged. They interviewed 66 bereaved mothers with at least one surviving multiple. For many, this contact was the first acknowledgement of their status as multiple birth mothers since their loss.

Dr Elizabeth Pector, the mother of a sole surviving twin, has made this a special area of study and has published a long list of articles on the subject, including. 
Management of perinatal loss of a twin.
In another article, the death of a twin during pregnancy or around birth was considered. According to this article it gives rise to a bewildering confusion of thoughts and feelings that can impede mourning and disturb the bereaved mother's care of a surviving twin. Every effort should be made to give the parents and siblings an experience of the dead baby. Photographs especially can reduce confusion and assist reality testing and thus facilitate the grieving process and improve the care of the surviving twin. 

As we consider our feelings as womb twin survivors,  we must not forget the effect on our mothers, whose loss it was too.

There is a chapter for parents in my new book, "Womb Twin Survivors".

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