Thursday, July 28, 2011

Healing (27) Personal growth

Some people say that the object of personal growth is to express your full personality. I agree with this, but I wonder why personal growth is so difficult for wombtwin survivors. In this leaflet I will assume that personal growth is a natural and effortless process. I will also assume that it is only the compulsion to re-enact your dream of the womb that keeps you in a perpetual state of immaturity, locked into the past and imprisoned by a series of rules and standards that you know to be artificial and yet hold true.
Holding these two assumptions in mind, let’s explore the various ways in which womb twin survivors may be deliberately blocking their own personal growth.

Two groups of survivors
If a womb twin dies before about 10 weeks old (and this is quite common among womb twin survivors, for most twins vanish within the first ten weeks of life) then in the survivor’s Dream of the Womb there is a tiny little embryo who was never given a change to develop into a foetus. If a womb twin died after ten weeks or so, then in the survivor’s Dream of the Womb there is a fully developed little human being who never had a chance of a fulfilled existence.
I am going to assume that the first group of survivors deliberately blocks the natural process of maturity in order to identify with their immature womb twin. Meanwhile the second group allows the process of their personal growth to proceed normally but carry a deep sense of being denied a fulfilled existence. I will take the two groups separately.
Perpetual immaturity
We all know people who never grow up, or who seem to cling to infantile thoughts or ideas. We also know people who are initially enthusiastic about new projects but after a short time they lose interest, so they remain incomplete. Perhaps you are one of those people: if so, I believe you had a womb twin who never developed properly and remains as a vague imprint of incompleteness, somewhere in the back of your mind.
The search for personal fulfillment
We all know people who test out pleasure to see if it will give them inner fulfilment but end up in a state of despondency that can only be assuaged by more pleasure. They seem to be looking in the wrong places for their fulfillment. Perhaps you are one of those people. You have thwarted your search for fulfillment by trying much too hard. To identify with your womb twin you don't want to achieve fulfillment.
Awaken to your growth potential
Your potential or growth is perfectly obvious once you allow yourself to recognise it. Allowing yourself to grow is a simple process now you have let go of the reason for blocking it. For the whole of your life you have denied yourself growth and fulfillment in a deliberate attempt to re-enact the brief life of your womb twin. This is an impossible task, because you cannot change into your own womb twin: you can only grow into an improved version of yourself.
Know your limits
You have certain genetically-limited capabilities, such as your height or the amount of your hair. Other capabilities you can develop, if you are willing, but only to your personal limit. For instance it’s no use yearning to develop an ability to sing if you are tone deaf, but you can relax and enjoy hearing other people sing. You may practice your tennis to develop your hand to eye co-ordination but you probably won’t make it as a champion.
Adaptation to change
As you develop our capacities as far as you can, you will find that you can cope with change much better. Change is inevitable as times goes by: we get older, life gets faster and more complex. If we do not adapt, we die. Your womb twin lost he fight in the battle to survivor because he or she was not able to adapt . If you make the same mistake you also will be left marooned in the shallows, rather than paddling down the mainstream of life.
Permission to grow
By giving yourself permission to grow, you will open the gates to a more creative, restful and enjoyable phase of your life. Bo not strive to learn, just be open to all experiences. Instead of that restless and all consuming desire for new experiences, experiment with a more reflective style of living. Every moment can be a new experience if you calm down and look deeply at every moment of every day.
Therapeutic rest
Children grow fastest when they are asleep, and you will grow more by being at rest than by constant effort. Cultivate the art of doing nothing as an activity in itself. Realise how deep your experience can be if you practice living slowly amidst the wild cacophony of life. Those other people, restlessly searching for fulfillment, will think you are doing noting: they have no idea what they are missing as they rush on.

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