Thursday, August 04, 2011

The effects of a bad parent on the child - an argument

I was intrigued to  read about the speakers at the upcoming APPPAH conference this year.

First Bruce Lipton sets out a neat argument about how our prebirth script becomes a life script, not only for individuals but for the whole of society.

Leading edge science is shattering old myths and rewriting the fundamental beliefs of human civilization. Cell biologist and bestselling author, Bruce H. Lipton, PhD, offers a “new” biology that takes us beyond economic collapse and religious extremes to reveal that such chaos is a natural step in an unfolding process, rather than the tragic end to a broken planet.

The Biology of Belief is a journey that takes you into the world under a microscope, through the history of evolution and into the subtle realms of your own consciousness. Infusing his pioneering stem cell research with insights from frontier cell biology, quantum physics, and fractal mathematics, Bruce unveils a revolutionary vision of life science that illuminates the hidden connections among biology, psychology, spirituality and our imminent evolutionary upheaval. This dynamic presentation reviews how our prenatal and perinatal programming shapes our genetics, behavior and thoughts, elements that create the conditions of our body and our place in the world. 

Bruce Lipton says “I like to ask an audience, ‘Go back to when you fell head over heels in love with someone,’ and I ask them, ‘‘Was life so beautiful that you couldn’t wait for the next day?’ ‘Yes!’ That’s the equivalent of living heaven on earth. The only reason we don’t all have this honeymoon experience as a way of life is because it was programmed out of us. 

We are to assume that Dr Lipton, through some kind of self-help system, broke his own "programme"  and the paranoia that goes with that idea, and became the cheerful positive individual he is today.  This sounds like awakening from his Dream of the Womb in a way that recognized the "programming" and created the decision to act autonomously and think for himself.

I am not sure whether Dr Lipton's parents or primary caregivers will feature in his talk, but another speaker is a parent himself and his work with prebirth psychology has put him on a guilt trip about his own parenting styles:
“ I find it so far almost impossible to drop that sense of guilt around what I did or didn’t do as a parent when my kids were small. I can deal with the guilt in a healthy way, but so far I haven’t been able to make it disappear. "

Is is parenting or programming that makes us who we are? As a parent myself of two very different children, I cannot agree with either side. Children are given to us as they are, to nurture in the best way we can. We only have to love them, feed them and let them go. It's the most difficult job in the world, made a great deal more difficult by the burden of guilt placed upon parents by unhelpful current psychological ideas.

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

Khalil Gibran


  1. Althea, I am a wombtwin survivor, and a tremendous amount of dealing with that has shaped my life, but it certainly didn't help that my parents, particularly my mother, were angry and vindictive. My father was very upset that I was born a girl, and didn't hesitate to tell me that. My mother was constantly hitting me and screaming at me that I was never good enough. So I have to agree that parenting styles have an enormous affect. I find it interesting that the people who genuinely tried their best to be good parents have guilt over what they may or may not have done, while the truly horrible people have no guilt whatsoever, while they churned out pedophiles, murderers, etc. I definitely blame poor parenting a million times more than any problems caused by being a wombtwin survivor.

  2. We do not make your children - you are a highly sensitive and strong person, aware of your own woundedness, only part of which is to do with your parents, for your woundedness was there in you before you entered this world.

    I am not sure that paedophiles and murderers are in fact created by bad parenting - there is no research study that I have been able to find that backs this up, but maybe you have more information? I'd be very interested. Paedophiles and murderers are certainly narcissistic, which is certainly a pre-birth effect, not created by any style of parenting. narcissistic children are very difficult to parent but their parents didn't make them that way. It pleases them to blame their parents rather than take personal responsibilty for their actions.
    An interesting discussion - see what you think of the next few posts, which will be on the same topic!