The effort is an attempt to turn back time and heal the original split into two, to join once again to your other half and thus become that whole zygote once more. This does not feel like selfishness or self-preoccupation, it is healing.
Neither is this conceit, which carries strong connotations of superiority - rather, it is the sure and certain knowledge that you are the strong Alpha survivor - never the weak Beta.
It is not vanity, which is a love for oneself - the love is for your twin, not yourself.
It is not showing off, or craving for the admiration of others. The tendency to show off or attract attention is nothing more than to constantly see reassurance from others that you truly do exist and have not vanished in the same way as your twin. (This is known as existential anxiety.)
This is not to do with your relationship with your parents, or indeed anyone else in born life, but was set long before you were born, when your monozygotic twin died. Just listen to what this therapist has to say.....so near, and yet so far.......
The ways to cast your energy outwards (which always helps if your energy goes inwards too much) are well-known, but not in the context of womb twin survivors. Here is a nice list from a Facebook page which suggests that inwardly focussed energy is about losing faith in your convictions:-
10 Ways to Maintain the Faith of Your Convictions
1. Accept – Your life is perfect, and you are exactly where you need to be.
2. Chill Out – Don’t take life so seriously. Remember, it all works out in the end.
3. Slow Down - The ultimate destination of this physical journey is death – so what’s the hurry?
4. Take Responsibility – Focus on what you can control – release everything else.
5. Meditate – Breathe, take a walk, and reconnect with your inner truth.
6. Rest – Take a nap, go to bed early, be kind to yourself.
7. Believe – Don’t ever let go – you are here for a reason, and that reason is defined and guided by your inner truth.
8. Take Action – Don’t stagnate – make a decision and propel yourself.
9. Connect – Open your heart, embrace those around you.
10. Be Strong – Find courage, face your fears, and move yourself forever forward.
Sounds like the application of Alpha energy to me - but that's for tomorrow!