He is in prison serving a life sentence and has written his autobiography - he is remorseful but too narcissistic to care much about the consequences of his actions on others, but he asks again and again why he did it. It is a mystery to everyone, it seems, including himself. He is just mad, or bad, That's is. Or is it? My research may throw new light on this mystery.
I have a particular interest in this man as he is almost exactly my age and he lived in the same street in London - a few years later, but in the same street. An ordinary man, living in an ordinary house (that smelled a bit strange, because of the bits of bodies in the wardrobe and the tea chest.)
|23 Cranley Gardens, London|
This is the part of the documentary that struck me most. It shows how he identified totally with his victims - no, not his victims as people, but his victims as dead bodies. As one point he says the bodies were him. He was a dead body. It is possible that he had become identified with the dead body of his identical twin, who was part of him but not him; who was there next to him, dead and gradually falling into pieces? Just listen to him and make up your mind.
His mother talks in this movie about his life as a child, a gentle child who rescued birds and kept them near him in his bedroom. About how he became attached to his grandad and modelled himself upon this old man, (made him into his surrogate twin perhaps?) When his grandad died, this had a major effect on his five year old child - his "twin" had died - once again.
He searched for another "twin" again and again. He never had a girlfriend but seemed to be attracted only to other males, but he didnt feel he was a homosexual, and indeed did not seem to have sexual contact with his victims, just a gentle, caring attitude, which was increased once the victim was dead and had become a corpse.
He cared for his corpses, cleaned them and dressed them. He loved these dead young men, who were beautiful to him;
Is this an abnormality of mind, or was Dennis Neilsen trapped in his Dream of the Womb, which was a Dream of Hell, with a dead body - half of his own self - dead beside him?
No one knows why he did it, and he still tries to explain it to the world and himself.
Would this be the explanation? ( I repeat, not an excuse...)
What do you think?