Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Are you a co-dependent Valentine?

On this blog by Dave Jay,  a brilliant singer and song writer, we have the idea of the "Co-dependent" valentine.

Co dependency is very common among womb twin survivors.  They crave close intimate relationships, but they can allow them to last - in their Dream of the Womb the closest relationship they ever had didn't last.

Here are the words to this song:

©2009 Dave Jay Gerstein 
Be my co-dependent Valentine
I’ve all ready built a shrine to feeling unfulfilled
I swallow a heart-shaped bitter pill
Will ya be my co-dependent Valentine?
I need you so co-dependently
Without you here
There’s no me to speak of anywhere
The fun in dysfunction disappears
With our splendid co-dependent love affair
Hey!  I watch it drift away from a place where I can handle it
Wait!  Enable me a little more
Our therapist says to slip my check under her door…
God bless this livin’, breathin’, lovin’ mess
That we created with success
I guess we have to climb
The hopelessly copeless go sublime
I’m your moping co-dependent Valentine

Comments, anyone?


  1. Co-dependancy is probably the biggest thing I struggle with being a wts. I love making close bonds with people, but once the relationship gets to a certain point, I feel like I don't deserve to have it anymore, and I start pushing the person away. I know I do deserve to have these relationships, but those thoughts still find a way to creep up on me, and I put myself back into the mindset that I have to be alone. Does anyone else struggle with this, or something similar?

    1. Yes, I have had this problem for years. I never understood the origins of it until recently. I have gotten better with it, however, and I have learned to take relationships as they come (and go) People are in your life for a season or a reason. I don't push people away as much as I used to, and for the times I find myself alone I am more philosophical about it and it doesn't bother me as much anymore.

    2. I seem to be getting better at learning how to deal with it too, but sometimes it's not an easy task. Thank you for your support! It's always nice to know you aren't alone.