Saturday, June 23, 2012

Kurt Cobain - womb twin survivor?

 Kurt Cobain shot himself one day at the age of 27.  Kurt was always searching, a super- sensitive, very gifted man who wanted to reach out to people and make connection to them, but by 1998 he was completely spent and just wanted to die.  If he was a womb twin survivor, that would explain a lot. What a shame that none of the many counsellors and friends who tried to help him were not told that there was a possibility that Kurt had been born that way, and the pain he felt all his life was there before he was born.  He thought that only death would help, but there is another way. If he had only known how to heal, it may have helped.

Here is his suicide note:


To Boddah


Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.


All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things.


For example when we're back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins., it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.


On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!


I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.


I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.


Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.


Peace, love, empathy.
Kurt Cobain


Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your alter.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.


I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!



So much pain, such wasted talent - when will people start to listen? Just a few simple questions, and the way forward is clear.

2 comments:

  1. That is one of the saddest, most gut-wrenching letters I've ever read. I personally felt very devastated when Kurt Cobain committed suicide, not because I was a Nirvana fan, but because I saw a tremendous loss of a good person. I knew he had to be a deep soul to feel what he felt, and furthermore, to feel helpless.. That is exactly what I have felt in the past, and I know that is the hallmark of all wombtwin survivors. That we can't stand not being able to help everyone who needs it. We couldn't help our dying twins, so we need to rescue others, sometimes at the cost of ourselves. I hope that Kurt is at peace. he really deserves it.

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  2. There are several pop stars that I could name (including Freddie Mercury, whose desperate pursuit of acclaim doesn't fool me) that sound exactly like womb twin survivors to meboth in their lyrics and their personalities. I am often accused of "finding womb twin survivors under every leaf" but then there are more than 700,000,000 of us, so why not among the pop stars?

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