Friday, August 24, 2012

Womb twin survivors and "unwanted same-sex attraction"

I have been following this subject for a while now, and I think its time I mentioned my own theories about same sex attraction, to see what you think.  The idea of same sex-attraction is clear enough, but what makes it unwanted? I think that sexual attraction began in the womb, as does the author of the amusingly entitled book, MY ZYGOTE CHOSE  BALLS. 

I think that same-sex attraction among womb twin survivors where their twin was of the same sex, arises out of the need to recreate the original twin pair.
I think that people  who are attracted to people of the same sex fall into several distinct groups, and the main distinction is the extent of the sexual element in the relationship.  Attitudes to the morals of same sex attraction vary enormously.

At one extreme, same sex attraction can take the form of a deep soul friendship, a kind of spiritual union in which the sexual side is almost irrelevant. The dean of St Albans cathedral for example,  is widely known as a homosexual. He has a male partner who he has taken as a partner in a civil ceremony and they share a home. He has declared openly to the church on many occasions that their union is celibate. That announcement has been accepted as truth and he remains as a respected member of the Anglican community, among whom there are many other, equally well-respected, openly homosexual clergymen and women.

At the other, darker end of the spectrum same sex attraction can take the form of promiscious homosexual activity where the physical union is paramount and often abusive, and the nature of the relationship is of negligible importance.  The classic dark view of the homosexual male in particular is that he is morally bankrupt and will probably contract, spread and die of AIDS.

The concept of "unwanted" same sex attraction is now attached to a form of therapy that seeks to change sexual orientation towards creating a more normal and natural heterosexual relationship with all that this entails, such as family and children. Therapy is not very effective because this kind of attraction runs so deep.

In the current climate of respecting the various sexual orientations, this sexual reorientation therapy is frowned upon to the extent that therapists are being thrown out of their profession if they practice it.  The therapists are concerned with helping people to live by their religious teachings, most of which do not allow homosexual acts. As we have seen, celibacy is an option for Christians,  but some people wish to remove the attraction itself, for they see it as sinful.

A recent TV programme  showed two Christian people  discussing recent legislation, currently being debated in California, to make it illegal to help anyone to change their sexual orientation through therapy. (This does not include sexual reassignment surgery for intersex, its the psycho-spiritual attraction between people of genetically distinct men and women that they are speaking about.)

This is a hot topic at the moment and it will not easily be resolved.  I would welcome your views.


  1. Why is it so hard for people to accept themselves for who they are?

    1. Its not about self acceptance at all. Its about feeling very attracted to people who are the same sex as you and wishing with all your heart that this was not so, because it hurts so much. There are many reasons why this kind of attraction may be unwanted, and in my view the least important is that it is socially unacceptable. Mainly its because, no matter how many same sex relationships you create, no on will ever replace your twin, so the desolaton and loneliness remain, deep inside.

  2. I agree that it's got to do with fulfillment. But it's the same in mixed-sex relationships. So people 'should' cure their wts wounds and get happy - what is possible within same-sex-pairs. It just seems kind of radical to me to wanna change themselves or to think that this is possible and good 'just' because it's caused in pre-natal life.

    For example left handedness is connected with twinning and you don't advise people to change into right handed persons just because it's 'more natural' and can be overcome because it's sources are pre-natal... I hope you understand what I mean, I'm sorry if I'm boggling.

  3. I do find it a bit hard to follow your argument, but I would say there is no SHOULD about healing. I dont go around telling people what to do with their lives, and I suggest that you do the same - in the sense that some people want to be free of pain and despair and others want to hold on to it and never let it go because it is the omy link to their lost twin.
    I have just finished writing the healing path for publication soon, and the greatest problem with healing is the way pople hold on to the suffering.

    I have made the assumption that people would prefer not to feel pain and despair, but always within the knowledge that some people will sabotage their own healing and stay stuck for life. That is of course a personal choice. This post is about why soeone would not want to be attracted to someone of the same sex yet still find that they are and they are stuck in the situation.

    Thanks for the comment!