You put up a post card with a message, and people reply..... (this from 2008)
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This person said that she had a sole surviving twin daughter and was not sure what to do. Here are some of the helpful answers off that forum:
I was supposed to be a twin, when I look in the mirror some parts of me are identical on both sides (little moles on my right and left arms). I think those are parts of her that I have. Once my younger sister was born, (and now that we are older), I think that had my parents had twins then I wouldn't have her. So tell your baby when she's older about it, she will understand.And if she has any siblings and loves them as much as I love my sister, then she will be happy that just because she doesnt have a twin, she has someone that she can still have that amazing bond with.
Another poster says:
My sister was about half my size and stillborn. My mother said that she "knew" that she was having twins because of how big she had grown, but the doctors didn't know until mom was in the delivery room. The doctor never did a sonogram and simply told my mom that she was fat whenever she had told him her concerns earlier on in the pregnancy. I'm not sure if knowing about my twin could have prevented her death, but I wish that the doctor had taken my mom more seriously.
When we were born my dad wanted to pretend that there wasn't another baby, but my grandparents saw through him and knew that something went wrong. My mom also didn't want to hide it, so instead of letting the hospital "take care of" Amber, my parents held a proper funeral for her.
Anyway, my recomendation to the mother who submitted the postcard is to tell your daughter about her sister as early as possible so that the information can be more readily accepted. I'm glad that I knew about my twin all along. Also, if you hadn't thought to name the second baby, please consider giving her an identity -- I think it will help your other daughter to know that you cared about your lost baby. It may make things more difficult for you right now, but I think that she will appreciate knowing that her sister was loved, too.More here
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