Story 9: I often drew two people holding hands

I have no proof that I was a twin, but when I was a child I often drew two persons holding hands, closed in a circle (often mermaids). I talked to myself and hugged myself in the mirror, pretending my reflected image was my twin.
Also, I wrote a lot of letters to my "imaginary twin": I believed that "in my house twins were not allowed to stay (don't know why), so my twin was sent away when I was a very little child, so I don't remember it".

When I was playing, I often pretended that my dolls or my pet my pet were my twin or at least sisters. I remember that, as a child, many times I used to say, "I want to die, so I'll fly with my angel in heaven". Often I asked my parents to set the table for 4 persons, (but we are only in 3) and to buy 2 things instead of one (one for me and one for my imaginary sister).

When I had to write a greeting card to my Mom, I signed it with my name and with the name of my imaginary twin sister. I've always wanted a twin, so I often pleaded with my parents to adopt a child who was similar to me, possibly a lookalike, or at least a younger sister.

I watched a lot of films and cartoons and read books about twins.  I was always envious when I saw twins at school or at the park etc.

Now I'm 23 and I've always felt like in my life something was missing, I tried (but sometimes rejected) a symbiotic relationship with friends or partners, for ever since I was a child I have wanted to be in relationship with only one person at a time.

I've always felt lonely even though I was with friends because no one was "the right person". However, all this story is not supported by any medical proof, so I'm also permeated by doubt and feel like I'm mad or too imaginative and childish.

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