( this question is on the womb twin survivors hoarders questionnaire)
I cant throw anything out or sell anything ever, or I will burst into tears from feeling guilty. I think it has to do with leaving my twin behind.
It makes me feel safe and not alone, especially since I collect hundreds of dolls and the make me feel surrounded and loved.
Things my twin would have liked...
I always feel a need to fill space. I don't like clutter and junk. But overly empty space makes me uncomfortable in a way I can't quite describe. I tend to have a compulsion to fill space and storage-but usually in a constructive way. I find that if I give myself a specific space for certain items. I limit myself to just filling that space.
It's difficult for me to throw it away. As is I would like to have something next to me. To fill up a empty space.
The concept of being a womb twin survivor is brand new to me - brand new as of today. I am 64 and need to process this. I am stunned to find so many areas of commonality - especially the hoarding. Security. I can hide. I can use it to keep people away (even though I have a highly people-oriented job). When I am home, I can keep people from invading my space. I do this with my car as well. Although I am down to 3 cats, I had 7.
I think it has to do with my boundaries and space occupancy. I am very tired, because of prolonged B12 deficiency, but it is more than that, I know for sure. I have many things from when I was little. I dont' want to throw them away. There is a feeling that I might forget something, or that I want something later and search for it but can't find it. Maybe I want to prohibit that as well. I remember we had a Fisher Price record player. Apparently it broke but I didn't notice. Until I remembered and felt really sad it was gone and could not retrieve it ever again.
It feels as though, keeping the clutter is like keeping the things that people give close to myself, as though they are accompanying me. They are not just simply items, they represent the people who gave me the items, and for those that I buy, they represent imaginary friends which I can talk to and share my happiness and sadness with.
No connection I can think of. I'm still exploring the womb twin thing. My clutter is just clutter, I can always find something better to do than clean up the mess. Then it just gets too overwhelming to deal with at all.
I used to be MUCH worse as a child and used to hoard loads of stuff, including soft toys which I think is the link with being a womb twin survivor. I now have a real affinity with rescue animals and if I had my way, would take in more than what I already have! Also as a child I used to collect useless items such as rubbers, pens, badges, ornaments, plastic bags... you name it I had it. I've been able to dispose of these in my later years.
- Do you hoard stuff?
- Are you a womb twin survivor?
- Is your hoarding linked in any way to being a womb twin survivor?
- All comments welcomed