Saturday, January 04, 2014

Womb Twin survivors discuss theur clutter

 Why do womb twin survivors collect things? here are some of the things they say.....

I keep items because they are of sentimental value. Because one day I may need it again. Because it is a part of me and I find getting rid of things is like getting rid of a part of my past and who I am.

I never thought about it in terms of being a womb twin survivor until I found your site. I guess it's possible. I have always loved clutter and "my things". I think it stems more from growing up in a family of 7 where your belongings were few and you treasured them. Also not wanting to be wasteful. But it is an interesting idea that it might be because of what I am missing. I have always been interested in twins and it was decades before I knew that I was a twin. I also was subjected to a separation from my Mother at a few days of age, which I'm sure has added to my fears of being alone, being abandoned and rejection.

Sometimes I feel as though there is empty space that needs to be filled with something, it also diverts my attention.

I feel like I need it - if I don't have clutter all around me (my mom calls it "nesting") I feel unsafe. Even when I'm out in public, I have to be holding onto a notebook (I write all the time, so it's the most convenient item) or some other item to be able to feel safe.

Mixed meanings .. I hate that its there .... but I can't face getting rid of it. I don't mean to have clutter - - but I seem incapable of " filing " it - I find it hard to categorise my clutter into organised groups or collections. I usually feel exhausted when I approach it with a view to clearing it - so I don't clear it then.

Some of it is sentimental, but the majority of it is just from the overwhelming need to acquire things...Some things I need, but most things I "want" and then end up not using them or using them months later. I buy multiples of some items. I am irritated and stymied by the clutter but I don't know what to do. I never have friends over because of all the stuff lying around. It's all non-perishable stuff, but it's just everywhere. I really don't know what it means. I'm adopted and I'm sure that has some deep-rooted meaning in all of this.

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