So, farewell, Michael. Some said you were weird, but many people loved you. I am sure that you were a wombtwin survivor, and I often wondered what may have happened if I had been able to tell you that you were not crazy or weird but simply a perfectly normal wombtwin survivor. Certainly you were a contradictory character - like so many wombtwin survivors, who live out two lives in one.
On the Alpha side there was the confident, glittering star dancer:- a King of Rock to rival Elvis Presley (also a wombtwin survivor, only his twin died at birth), Michael the star dancer was and still is loved by millions of fans and massed a vast fortune.
But on the Beta side there was the abused, gentle, hurting and extremely lonely man.
On the Alpha side there once was an extremely handsome dark-skinned youth.
But on the Beta side for many years there was a hideous, white-faced androgynous figure with long hair, a travesty of a female.
On the Alpha side there was male energy - professionalism, vigour, creativity, the BAD man in leather with a desire to father children.
On the Beta side there was female energy - quiet, sweet gentleness, the long-haired saviour, with a desire to comfort children, give them toys, make them a special play space and spend time with them.
The Alpha side of Michael Jackson has been gradually destroyed by his own choices and actions. His vast fortune has been squandered, the handsome youth is long gone, destroyed by self-destructive plastic surgery. His terror of death and decay, which revealed itself in his desire for immortality, has at last brought about the one thing that was most feared. He has now sadly died, and long before his time.
But this path of self-destruction is so often a wombtwin survivor's story. It sounds crazy, if not insane, to throw your life away, waste your talents, destroy what is good and healthy in you and replace it with a total commitment to a secret and subtle slow forms of suicide, such as overdosing on alcohol, tobacco, food, drugs, extreme sports, reckless driving and so on.
Wombtwin survivors tend to live a life of self-sabotage and some of them sabotage themselves to death. Now there is no sign that Michael Jackson died at his own hand, but the signs of the self-destructive wombtwin survivor would have been there to be seen, if we had only known how to look for them. Sadly, no one - not Michael himself, or his family, his friends, his children or his colleagues, knew what was wrong. Michael's brother is a wombtwin survivor, but that was all we knew. Sadly also, the Wombtwin Survivor project had not yet come to the notice of professionals, who may then have been able to help.
What a different life he would have had if he became aware that, long before he was born, there was once a little twin sister who died - being too sick to come to birth - leaving him as the loneliest man in the world, and prepared to sacrifice everything to keep this half-acknowledged little female figure somehow alive in his life. He ignored the scorn of the public as he gradually destroyed his own handsome male face; he tried so desperately to stay young, to never grow up, never grow old and start to decay, that he now has his greatest wish. He truly is now immortal and will never die. The world will never forget Michael Jackson. Like Elvis, he will be forever young.
He will always be the glittering star who has for so long been bleeding inside, with a grief he obviously never understood.
Wombtwin survivors spend their lives re-enacting the life and death of their wombtwin. Nothing, not even life itself, is more important than that.
Rest in peace, Michael.
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