The loss of a twin before birth is a common but little-known phenomenon. There are sceptics everywhere.
Radio
I was listening again to a 2008 BBC Three Counties radio programme where I was interviewed on the phone at 6 am by an extremely skepical DJ, who spoke the words "womb twin survivor" as if they were the weirdest words he had ever heard and I must be a crazy woman to believe any of it. The DJ was not a womb twin survivor and every time he mentioned "womb twins" it was in a highly sceptical and slightly tone of voice.
He said it had sounded as if I was "just pandering to people who have weird feelings." I don't know if I convinced him - after all, there would be precious few listeners at 6am! I have learned in this job not to bother trying to convince people that this is a real effect. If they need convincing they are not womb twin survivors, and no amount of persuasion is going to change their opinion.
TV
But what happens when there is a rather more accepting approach? When the wonderful national geographic film Life in the womb was aired on ITV they tried to find someone who was carrying a vanishing twin pregnancy. I knew they would never get someone like that and they needed someone the next day, so I contacted them and sure enough the next day I was being filmed. I was interviewed for 20 minutes and out of it they took 20 seconds.
At no stage was it implied in any way that I was crazy or mistaken. But of course both people in the room where the film was made, though not womb twin survivors themselves, had a womb twin survivor in the family.
Passing on the Womb Twin message can be hard: scepticism, especially when coupled with narcissism, (the need always to be correct and be the only one who really knows the truth) is the very worst. It is much better when the people concerned are open-minded, or have some personal experience of this.
"They all laughed at Christopher Columbus, when he said the world was round......?
To quote that song, we will get the last laugh in the end:
So you've seen the movie - now read the book!
I was listening again to a 2008 BBC Three Counties radio programme where I was interviewed on the phone at 6 am by an extremely skepical DJ, who spoke the words "womb twin survivor" as if they were the weirdest words he had ever heard and I must be a crazy woman to believe any of it. The DJ was not a womb twin survivor and every time he mentioned "womb twins" it was in a highly sceptical and slightly tone of voice.
He said it had sounded as if I was "just pandering to people who have weird feelings." I don't know if I convinced him - after all, there would be precious few listeners at 6am! I have learned in this job not to bother trying to convince people that this is a real effect. If they need convincing they are not womb twin survivors, and no amount of persuasion is going to change their opinion.
TV
But what happens when there is a rather more accepting approach? When the wonderful national geographic film Life in the womb was aired on ITV they tried to find someone who was carrying a vanishing twin pregnancy. I knew they would never get someone like that and they needed someone the next day, so I contacted them and sure enough the next day I was being filmed. I was interviewed for 20 minutes and out of it they took 20 seconds.
At no stage was it implied in any way that I was crazy or mistaken. But of course both people in the room where the film was made, though not womb twin survivors themselves, had a womb twin survivor in the family.
Passing on the Womb Twin message can be hard: scepticism, especially when coupled with narcissism, (the need always to be correct and be the only one who really knows the truth) is the very worst. It is much better when the people concerned are open-minded, or have some personal experience of this.
"They all laughed at Christopher Columbus, when he said the world was round......?
To quote that song, we will get the last laugh in the end:
So you've seen the movie - now read the book!
Hi Althea,
ReplyDeleteI'm wondering what it is that people are so sceptical about. Is it that VTS exists, the rate of it happening, or that it can affect survivors?
Its ignorance, largely. The loss of a twin before birth is not widely known about, so it does come as a surprise to the 90% who don't understand. Its the idea that there can be a psychological effect on the survivor that gets people excited, also linking these effects to some of the so-called "personality disorders" really gets them jumping in rage! Then there are some people who think it's extremely clever to be sceptical about everything.......they enjoy it, but I ignore them, because it is not clever to be closed-minded. Thanks for the comment.
ReplyDeleteI can understand their scepticism. But as you suggest, it's not clever to flat out reject ideas without some basis first.
ReplyDeleteI saw that documentary on the Discovery Channel, and I couldn't find anything hard to grasp. I guess many people don't want to accept that this could have happened to them. I'm sure you're making a big difference to those that do. Keep it up.