Friday, May 20, 2011

What is a womb twin? (8) an abnormally-developed fetus

The saddest story in the Dream of the Womb is when a womb twin never stood a chance - this little embryo began developing, at least for a while,  but it all went wrong, so that organs were misplaced or missing altogether, or some parts of the body developed to an extraordinary degree in relation to others.

The survivor meanwhile seems to carry a lifelong fear of abnormality for it is there in their Dream of the Womb. This fear may be expressed as

Perfectionism - one's person, behaviour, home or lifestyle must be perfect and beyond reproach - nothing must give rise to expressions of disapproval or disappointment by others.

Inflexibility - a decision, once made or not made, it never varied, lest one "do the wrong thing".  One must not be seen as  unable to function normally, so  all choices and behaviours are limited to what is safe and likely to lead to success. Even when a blatant mistake has been made, it is considered better to stay with the original decision than appear weak or inadequate.

Indecisiveness is characteristic of so many womb twin survivors - rather than make the wrong choice, they oscillate between two opposing choices, or ponder on many other possibilities, always weighing up the consequences - but always at the heart of this, is the fear of doing wrong.

Correctness - by extension, all choices, behaviours and attitudes are rigidly enforced by a strong sense of self discipline, to adopt the "correct" stance in all matters.  This outwardly wilful and strong character trait is in fact created out of a character weakness: a deeply-felt fear of being considered in any way abnormal by others.

Self-righteousness - the need to constantly feel reassured that one is "perfect" gives rise to constant comparisons with others whose life does not satisfy the rigid self-imposed  rules by which this womb twin survivor must live.

Authoritarianism - the rigid rules may be implanted on others, out of a belief they they too will profit by trying at al times to be perfect.  What is forgotten of course in this search for personal perfection is that the world is not perfect in a rigid, crystalline  way but build out of chaos and always in process. perfection is a myth,  perpetuated by people with a fear of abnormality - womb twin survivors.

Workaholism - working too hard, trying to build a better world and always attempting to improve on Nature. Being over-conscientious is a good way to attempt to guarantee perfection in your own behaviour, so one will be seen as diligent capable and good, rather than weak and incapable. (Like your own womb twin.)

The end result is a restricted expression of affection towards others and a general lack of personal joy.  All energy is held inwardly, to fight against a deep fear of abnormality and chaos. There is no energy to spare for other people and their needs.

[Note: no blog tomorrow because the Internet connection is disrupted in our area until Sunday 22nd, I am told!]

I'm off to Portsmouth for the day tomorrow 21st May  to meet some of you over lunch!  Hope to see you there!

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