The journey
In a journey of endless footsteps I gather momentum
Until the journey is myself and I the journey:
The paths proliferate before me, beckoning-
Such wonder lies beyond where every road must bend!
And in the speculation of a misty corner-
Where trees dip and bend in unseen breezes-
Lies the yearning in my heart that drives my endless footsteps, searching....
The scene is clear: the journey is the meaning and the footsteps make the road.
Yet in the linear movement lies a certain circularity;
I come back each morning to a place of long ago and far away-
Lost to memory and on the other side of time. In the echo of that fleeting vision there is longing and abandonment and a screeching loneliness,
And in my endless footsteps is the expiation of the shame I feel
For something I have never done, could never do!
The bag I carry burdens me: there is fear in there,
but sometimes laughter and the touch of friends.
Yet each step I take forwards is just one step away
And thus I greet and part from friends I dare not truly know.
For in the morning mist, when distant trees dip
And bow against invisible forces of the air,
Then into my mind creeps a tiny memory of mystery....
A creature calling to me through the years.
Who are you, creature of my will?
What do you want of me?
Must I carry this burden for you, and walk this road
To find and lose you in endless repetions?
The burden is a pain that is mine and yet not mine;
The sorrow will overwhelm me if I stay!
Yet I know the one I seek is part of me.
Without you I cannot be whole.
I carry you, burdened with your life, your pain.
Your eternal parting is enacted in my endless leaving.
Your longings breed my journeyings;
Your restless spirit drives my footsteps on this endless via dolorosa..
Will I stay a while and dare to know you?
If I look deep into the mist beyond the curve of the road
I see trees dip and bob and know the force of the wind.
If I look deep into the mist behind my eyes
I see my heart break with yearning and know the force of your life.
I long for you and need you, but I don't know who you are.
I try to leave you but you always follow me - your footsteps walk in mine.
Tell me who you are! I need to know your name!
Reveal yourself to me! I will not be afraid.
For in our union there is stillness, and rest.
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