Saturday, December 01, 2012

Womb Twin story - I asked my mom and she said No.

As a child I have told some other kids that I was supposed to be a twin but they died before we were born.  I don't recall why I ever said that, but I did. I even asked my mom if I had a twin and she said no.

 Yet, somehow I just knew that I was a twin and my twin has been taken from me. My childhood memories are painful because of the isolation, depression and bullies that tormented me because of my strange existence.

I had an imaginary friend, Casper, from the lack of true friendship. I would have constant dreams of this guy. He looked so familiar and it was like I knew him. He was always there to protect me and to just "be" with me.

In my dreams there was a feeling of rightness and I knew this was how I was supposed to feel. Alas, I'd awake to me, myself and I. As I grew older, I continued in my depression, feelings of guilt and loneliness. I never knew why I felt this way and the feelings progressed as I continued through out life.

It felt like I was angry at myself and my mom for letting me live. Subconsciously I resented my mom and I felt disgusted when I looked in the mirror. I suffered low self-esteem and harmful behaviors towards myself.

Now at 18, I'm not as bad as I was but the hollow empty feeling remains and my mom has never told me if I am a twin or not.  I suppose it could be possible that she might not have known.Yet, I have these feelings of sureness. Yes, I do have my doubts but behind every doubting moment is the voice of my twin brother telling me that it is the truth.

More stories on this page


  1. This is exactly how I have felt my entire life.

  2. I relate to this so much, thank you for writing this.

  3. Finally a wombtwin survivor who also is disgusted to look at him/herself in the mirror, just like me. I thought I was the only one.