Yesterday I went to a meeting of the Lone Twin network in London. They are not really set up for wombtwin survivors, but they let me in as a one- off. I was surprised that about a third the 30 attendees were "Birth-loss twins" as they describe it. I consider that they are wombtwin survivors but they are on the margins, also they are on the margins of the Lone Twin Network.
For some the level of distress was very high. Others were more sanguine. The issue of whether their parents had told them or not was a problem. Some parents mention it right at the start and some don't, finding a moment to mention it. As I have found already by email, the news didn't come as a surprise.
A difficult meeting for me, to be in a room with so much hidden (and-not-so-hidden) distress and painful loneliness. These lone twins meet for a brief time of comradeship and sharing, knowing that a whole year will pass before they meet again.
But then this is their Dream of the Womb: a brief time of close company with someone who really understands, and then abandonment for a long, long time.
It is interesting that organisations take on the characteristics of the client group: I must make sure I don't allow Wombtwin.com to remain perpetually in embryo. NO: we will allow ourselves to implant in a good and nourishing place and then begin to grow!
When a twin dies before birth, the sole survivor needs help and understanding. Womb twin survivors are the sole survivors of a twin or multiple pregnancy. This group, 1 in 10 of the population, includes survivors of a stillbirth, miscarriage, abortion and a "vanishing twin" pregnancy. It is a story of a twin bond broken by death, leaving a lonely survivor.
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