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Tributes to Althea Hayton

Althea Hayton, founder of Womb Twin, passed away peacefully on August 13 (sorry for the delay in posting this news on the blog). We are all ...

Thursday, June 16, 2011

A healing path for womb twin survivors - soul pain

The healing path for womb twin survivors is a way of treating soul pain.

In his web site about soul pain, "Journey of Soul,"  Clay Miller writes:

Life is not about feeling good all the time. It's about being fully present with what is and letting everything in so that it can move through you. The nature of life is change and fluidity. And the extent to which you cling to permanence, security, stability is the extent to which you are committing soulful suicide and cannot be truly present in the world.

My own definition of soul pain would be a level of pain that is neither physical nor is it emotional - it's more spiritual. Its to do with loss and grief and in particular it concerns broken dreams and disappointed expectations. For some, they feel pain on behalf of others, and this hurts them, because they can do nothing to help that other person in their pain.

I find it hard to watch a person deep into the worst kind of spiritual, or soul pain and know that I can be there for them, love them and support them, but in the end they must heal themselves, and they have to WANT to heal themselves. It is my experience that some people put themselves into a Black Hole and remain there. Furthermore, they vehemently defend their right to choose to remain there.

Their insistence of living a life of abject misery is a mystery to those who look on  in helplessness : there is nothing for it but to find some kind of "diagnosis": they are suffering from a personality disorder, or they have never truly recovered from abuse or neglect in childhood. Then all is explained and the suffering individual can remain in their Black Hole indefinitely, free from all responsibility for having decided to remain there for life.

 Healing soul pain requires that the original sin - of simply being alive -  is forgiven, not by others, but by the individual concerned. For the womb twin survivor, this is survivor guilt.  That is enough for anyone to never allow any joy, peace, patience or any of the gifts of the truly realised individual to grow. The twi never had a chance - how terribly unfair to be the one who lived!

Remaining stuck is a useful method of  never truly being present in this world.  For a womb twin  survivor, there is a kind of justice in that.

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