Important post

Tributes to Althea Hayton

Althea Hayton, founder of Womb Twin, passed away peacefully on August 13 (sorry for the delay in posting this news on the blog). We are all ...

Friday, August 19, 2011

Information for womb twin survivors - womb twin stories

It is very important  for womb twin survivors to feel able to tell their story and not feel strange or weird.  I started collecting stories in 2003 and I have  more than 200 now.  I have permission to use them anonymously and I do put little quotes here and there on various web sites. There are a couple of story pages on the womb twin organisation web site.  People are asked to tell their story ( or just part of it) in 250 words, and Ben, our volunteer web site developer, places the story anonymously on the site.   The stories make wonderful reading.  [Take a look here]

For longer stories, see this page on my womb twin survivors web site.  These stories are a real inspiration, particularly the one below, about an important misdiagnosis...

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Misdiagnosed as "Schizophrenic"  by Anonymous
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It all began at the age of fifteen when I fell madly in love with a girl in my class. I was in love with her for almost two years. At that time I was too afraid to tell her.

After those two years, I suddenly became anxious and uncertain about myself and I didn't understand why. These feelings went on for about two weeks. Then one Sunday morning when I woke up, my world had completely changed. I didn't know who I was anymore. It was as if my brain had forgotten me overnight. Some other symptoms appeared. I was only able to see in two dimensions. It was as if I was looking through a window that showed a two-dimensional image. I couldn't see it any differently. This was how I saw the world.

Something else was happening: it seemed like my voice was sitting in the back of my head.

My voice wasn't coming from my mouth any more. It felt like somebody else was talking. I panicked. From one moment to the next I had turned from a passionate lover into a complete alien. If this was the way I had to live for the rest of my life, then not anymore. I was thinking about ending my life. The thought to commit suicide was not just something that passed through my mind, it was a well considered choice. I wanted to jump in front of a train, which is, as I understand it now, a symbolic expression of how fragmented I was inside. I finally decided not to do it and I ended up in a psychiatric hospital for about six months. I started to take medication. I took ten pills a day. Because I was saying that I heard conversations in my head, I got medication to suppress those voices in my head. Something I was thinking and telling them all the time was that I wasn't seeing reality. I wasn't in touch with it any more.

I had the feeling of being so far removed from reality. It felt like a memory from long ago. I think because the doctors in the hospital had never heard somebody telling a story like this, they just needed a label they could put on me for their records. They diagnosed me "schizophrenic" and "psychotic." Despite the fact that I was diagnosed as such, I had the feeling that something else was going on but I didn't know what that could be.

I went back to school when I left the hospital. It was a very hard time. Every day I had to find a good reason for myself to get out of bed and to go to school. For many years I felt very tired.

I went for psychotherapy. Over the first years I saw many psychologists and psychiatrists. None of them could tell me what exactly was going on with me. I didn't get the answers I was so badly craving. I quit therapy several times over the years. I went back for therapy every time I started a new relationship, because then I was confronted again with something that was still wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on exactly what it was. In my relationships I always had that feeling of not being able to love.

After four years of taking medication, I quit. I decided I could do it on my own. I didn't need it anymore. I haven't taken any medication since.

At the age of twenty-five I said goodbye to psychotherapy. I discovered spirituality, which was a new way to find answers about what had happened to me. New doors opened to me. I met interesting people on this new path.

Today I am thirty-four years old and it was only two years ago that I recognised for myself that I was showing a lot of symptoms of trauma. But I couldn't think of any trauma that I had experienced in my born life.

I went for a search on the internet, looking for trauma healing. This is how I arrived on Althea Hayton's website. I recognised myself completely in the description of a womb twin survivor. I immediately started the 'womb twin work'. Only after two weeks of doing this work I started to feel much better and I was growing stronger day by day.

I had arrived. I finally had found the last piece of the puzzle.  Or was it the first piece of a new puzzle?
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Stories help the writer as much as the reader, so why not send us your story today in 250 words?


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