MZ womb twin survivors - a life and death struggle

If we look at two identical twins sharing a sac, if they are both to survive they must share equally the space, oxygen and nourishment. If that share becomes unequal, then one of them may die.  If one of them dies, the survivor will be left with a sense of being half, not a whole, accompanied by a deep, vague sense that their life and survival came at great cost.

In the Dream of the Womb there is a sense of great vulnerability and being there at the cost of another life, but there is also a sense of it being quite natural to have everything the way you want it and freely exploit and take advantage of available resources.  This is a reflection of the life and death struggle that characterizes the life of two monozygotic twins sharing a sac.



If you are a MZ survivor, is there a life and death struggle at work in your life?   How could you identify this?  Here are some pointers:

1. The need to be Alpha
In the Dream of the Womb,  you are the Alpha twin and partly identified with your Beta twin. You are acutely aware of that tiny, weak, vulnerable part of you,  but you are the strong Alpha survivor and therefore not weak in any way. Even so, there is that nagging fear that vulnerability will cost you your life - you must be the strongest, biggest most important person in every situation in order to survive.  In the Dream there is no one else there - its all yours.

2. The fear of being Beta
In the Dream of the Womb, simply as a result of you being the strongest biggest and and most demanding twin, your own Beta twin faded away and was gone, leaving you alone, the Alpha survivor.  If you acknowledge your own vulnerability you will feel fear, or the Beta always goes to the wall. In the intrauterine survival struggle is the first arena where Darwin's "survival of the fittest" evolutionary theory is seen most clearly.  Evolution proceeds by Alpha/Beta pruning : the Betas lose in order that the Alphas can win.  But until this is made clear in the mind of the survivor, the fear remains: " If I am weak, I am done for".

Of course! What else would a surviving Alpha twin feel? Its completely natural  and normal.

IF you are a womb twin survivor and you are not sure if your twin was identical to you or not,  take a close lok at your attitude to your own weaknesses and inadequacies. If being seen as falling short of the norm is a real problem for you, then consider the possibility that you are an MZ womb twin survivor and  in the Dream of the womb this is a matter of life and death.