I was born 2 months early. My mom experienced two miscarriages before getting me. Her pregnancy was difficult - she had bleeding in the first three months. I was born with cerebral palsy and have been bound to a wheelchair all my life.
I have always felt a part of me missing. I was hardly ever really at peace with my life. A little while ago I tried to commit suicide. I am always feeling that I am not good enough and I am constantly scared to lose loved ones. I am also very shy and don't really get close to people who are new to me.
When a twin dies before birth, the sole survivor needs help and understanding. Womb twin survivors are the sole survivors of a twin or multiple pregnancy. This group, 1 in 10 of the population, includes survivors of a stillbirth, miscarriage, abortion and a "vanishing twin" pregnancy. It is a story of a twin bond broken by death, leaving a lonely survivor.
I am so sorry that you have cerebral palsy and are confined to a wheelchair. I can only imagine how difficult that must be. I have expereienced everything else you mentioned, including the suicide attempt. I tried that about three years ago. When I realized I survived, I was very angry at first, but then I had an awakening of sorts and realized that I am still here for a reason. I still have my down days, but a lot of good has happened since then. That is what I wish most for you, that you have more good and happy days. You sound like a definite wombtwin survivor. That means that you have a built-in guardian angel! My twin has definitely been there for me so many times, and its comforting to know she's there. It would probably bring you comfort, too, to know your twin is still by your side, loving you.Hang in there. You have a lot of friends pulling for you here in the Wombtwin community!
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