A parent cries out for help: how can I help my womb twin kid?

I have a 10 year old girl who was born at 33 weeks. Her identical twin died before she was born. I don't know when. As a young child, she smiled alot and was loved by every adult that met her. Unfortunately, she was marred by ill health and we had countless hospital visits. At age 6-7, she was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.


We saw a NHS therapist and her symptoms subsided after two years. Since then she has been seeing a kinesiologist and her work finished at the end of last year. At the moment, the family is having a very difficult time. There are daily arguments and we don't know what to do for the best. She seems very angry. Any tiny transgression is cause for an argument. We have noticed from very early on that she does not seem to understand the world. She cannot make decisions. For example, choosing vanilla or strawberry ice-cream is very, very difficult.

She asks frequently why someone is doing something a particular way. She has no friends. She is very attached to her older cousin. Blame always has to be attributed to someone. Never gives family cuddles or kisses. Writes expressive poems and stories. Plays the piano well. Works hard at her lessons. Easily upset. Very intuitive about emotions. Able to express herself beyond her years. Has enormous difficulty clearing her room of stuff, eg. birthday cards, scraps of paper with notes and drawings, trinkets, etc. She is desperate for a dog. Last week, she told me that she has a lonely feeling in her heart and nothing fills it up. She says it feels like nothing is there. I know that she is deeply unhappy and lonely. However, she says I don’t understand her. I find listening to her disturbing as she is so sad and I fear for her emotional and psychological well-being.

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