Constant, secret, seething resentment

Now this has come to light as "Resentment syndrome" : an interesting aspect of the Dream of the Womb and the need to keep that dream alive, for therein lies the lost twin. [ article here to maybe read later]

Resentment. That sense of some Great Wrong having been done to you.
Constant. That feeling that underlies every waking moment and some dreams as well.
Seething. Restless, always active, always moving, always seeking out a target.
Secret. Hidden, discrete, a little shameful but very real.

Anyone with resentment syndrome directs an incredible amount of energy towards the every day practice of feeling resentment:

• one can resent some past hurt or something taken away.
• one can resent the fact that something is unfair or unjust
• one can resent someone who just doesn't understand how you feel
• one can resent the fact that the world is made how it is, filled with pain and suffering

resentment feels powerful because it is angry and hurt and feels very much like self preservation.
resentment feels honourable because one must protect one's rights
resentment feels absolutely authentic because the feelings are so very real

what if:

What is something truly was taken; what if there was a life and death struggle? What if the weakest one did go to the wall? What if your life came at the cost of another life? What if survivor guilt is holding you back?

It seems to me that, for the survivor of an identical twin pair, resentment is probably the only way to express those feelings in born life.

Natural enough - but what a waste of good life energy. The healing is to let go of resentment and begin to live a fuller life. Forgiveness: that does it.