A wonderful couple in Australia, Steve and Kim Cooper, have worked at narcissism in their marriage and have got the the point where they are still together and Steve, the one who is the most narcissistic, is no longer bullying his family, lying and acting irresponsibly.
Follow their story here
They had a long interview on blog talk radio with the author of "You might be a narcissist if....." and it was clear from what they said that, far from being the kind of condition that cannot be cured so the best thing to do was to leave, in fact things can get much better.
It was at that point, with so much good news, that I began to believe that there was after all, a way forward for the narcissistic womb twin survivors who were coming to me in increasing numbers, and in great distress and need.
I'll let Steve Cooper tell his own story:
and this is what he wrote about his story (see here)
Song of the Male Narcissist
When I said that I would leave you I meant "Don't let me go"
and instead of saying yes to you I said "I'll let you know."
I put myself above you so you'd think me some great prize
and blamed my faults upon you all because of my false pride.
So I know you have good reason for complaining like you do
because I never really thought of you, just 'to mine own ego' was I true.
But the truth is I'm embarrassed for how badly I've behaved
and for being such a coward I really am ashamed.
Cause I don't want you to guess how helpless that I feel
and that I don't know how to save you even though my love is real.
There is so much I have to learn and if you're needing proof
just look at how I twist and turn and struggle with the truth.
I cannot be your hero and I don't always understand
and really I just want you to see the child within this man.
I'm so scared that you will leave me when you see my acts a sham
and that I gave up long ago on being loved for who I am.
I need a guiding hand in life and need you to be strong
I need you to be virtuous and let me tag along,
set me goals I can achieve and praise me where you can
not for the act - just for the steps I take to become a man,
cause I still have tantrums like a baby and think I must get my way
and I don't know how to listen and I haven't learned to pray.
So love and please don't leave me and help me learn to get along,
but stop crying and getting angry cause it's really you who's strong.
To make me feel bad won't change things cause I'm already wracked with shame.
and sometimes you must say "no" for me and kindly say my name,
and if I'm being brutish you must make me face the law
You must show concern with courage if you want my heart to thaw.
Cause I won't respect a victim and you won't beat me at that game
and if you really want to tame me you can't be scared of public shame,
cause it will take men with integrity that I squarely have to face
you see I'm craving a strong father and you'll never take his place.
And I'm trying hard to trust you which I don't know how to do
and I hope you can forgive me and I hope that we're not through.
When a twin dies before birth, the sole survivor needs help and understanding. Womb twin survivors are the sole survivors of a twin or multiple pregnancy. This group, 1 in 10 of the population, includes survivors of a stillbirth, miscarriage, abortion and a "vanishing twin" pregnancy. It is a story of a twin bond broken by death, leaving a lonely survivor.
Showing posts with label healing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label healing. Show all posts
Thursday, November 03, 2011
Monday, October 31, 2011
Healing Narcissus : reaching out to Echo
The main thing about narcissism, from what I have read and experienced, is that it has a poor prognosis. Therapist have theorised for generations about the best way forward in attempting to heal this distressing, dark, self destructive and generally negative way of life.
My feeling is that Echo is the answer.
To remind you, Echo was the nymph who loved Narcissus, but that love was not reciprocated. All his energy was directed towards maintaining contact with his other half, his Beta twin, who could never love him back, but whose continuing presence was essential. Here is her story:
My feeling is that Echo is the answer.
To remind you, Echo was the nymph who loved Narcissus, but that love was not reciprocated. All his energy was directed towards maintaining contact with his other half, his Beta twin, who could never love him back, but whose continuing presence was essential. Here is her story:
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Books for womb twin survivors: A Silent Cry
In early 2008 I had such a wonderful collection of stories, written for me by womb twin survivors as part of the research questionnaire, that I thought it was time for another anthology, this time of stories written by womb twin survivors and published in their own words. .
The response took my breath away! Womb twin survivors were so glad to know that at last they would be heard and taken seriously, that within a month I had seventy stories! Every contributor was given a complimentary copy of the book.
The title was taken directly from an email I received from a director of the Twinless Twins Support Group International...
The response took my breath away! Womb twin survivors were so glad to know that at last they would be heard and taken seriously, that within a month I had seventy stories! Every contributor was given a complimentary copy of the book.
The title was taken directly from an email I received from a director of the Twinless Twins Support Group International...
Monday, August 22, 2011
Books for womb twin survivors: the healing path e-book
In 2005 I had more and more people coming to the web site and completing various versions of the questionnaire. I was struggling to find the right statements that would describe how most womb twin survivors feel and I was making progress, having made several versions since 2003. But as the research continued and people started to ask for help.
I had set out healing steps on the earlier versions of my web site, and I began to wonder if I may attempt to write a book about healing. It would not be definitive , as I was still in the early stages of research, but it would be the best I could do at the time. In any case it would be the only book that I was able to find at the time that set out healing steps and self development exercises for a womb twin survivor.
It happened that over the winter of 2004/5 that I had a house guest who stayed for 4 months. I was able to bounce ideas off her and talk it all over, and with her help I finally created a PDF of the 30 healing steps.
I had set out healing steps on the earlier versions of my web site, and I began to wonder if I may attempt to write a book about healing. It would not be definitive , as I was still in the early stages of research, but it would be the best I could do at the time. In any case it would be the only book that I was able to find at the time that set out healing steps and self development exercises for a womb twin survivor.
It happened that over the winter of 2004/5 that I had a house guest who stayed for 4 months. I was able to bounce ideas off her and talk it all over, and with her help I finally created a PDF of the 30 healing steps.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Healing (23) Healing floating resentment
I am not insane. I am angry. This world has dumped on me for the final time. I am not spoiled or lazy for fighting is not weak or slow-witted. A real fight is gutsy and painful. I don’t care about the pain. I want to show the world I won’t be stamped on any more. People like me are mistreated every day. I fight for my rights to show society, "push us, and we will push back." I have suffered all my life. No one ever truly loved me. No one ever truly cared about me.
These words were written by a young man who had been charged with attempted murder following a street fight. Anyone who feels “dumped on” by society is clearly trying to find a place for free-floating resentment. For a start “society” doesn’t “dump on” or “push” people; the world does not “stamp” on anyone; also it is highly likely that at least one or two people in the whole world care if this young man lives or dies. In short, there is absolutely no truth in these allegations against “society” or “the world”. Resentment goes a long way back; far back into the Dream of the Womb.
Wednesday, June 08, 2011
Towards the new healing book
At last, the shape of the new healing book is beginning to form in my mind. At the moment, there is only an e-book with 30 steps and self-awareness exercises, which was written in 2004 and is now rather out of date, but at the moment it is the only resource I have for womb twin survivors to facilitate their healing.
 | ||
| ( Note: this is not the kind of e-book you can read on Kindle, its a 32 page PDF file.) |
Monday, April 11, 2011
A healing path (2) Resentment into reconciliation
When you decide to open yourself to healing, the most difficult thing is the decision to act: the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life. The procedure and the process is its own reward.
To awaken from the Dream of the Womb requires that you become aware of what keeps you asleep. Even when you don’t realise it, you are constantly re enacting your dream. If you don’t know if you are awake or asleep then you cannot know when you have awakened. The awakening is the healing: it is as simple as that.
Letting go of the Dream, which has been your way of being for so long, will be very difficult indeed. waking up will be hard. To awaken and heal, you will have to always choose to do the most difficult thing. If it is very, very difficult, then you can know that you are trying to wake up.
THE PRACTICE OF SELF-FORGIVENESS - resentment into reconciliation
The Dream of the Womb is a treadmill or prison where there must never be change or growth. Self-forgiveness can change all that. The power of self-forgiveness can stop the treadmill and let you get off. It gets you from resentment to reconciliation.
Resentment
When you are lost in the Dream, you begrudge others their ability to drink the cup of life to the dregs. You feel bitter about the hurts and abuses against you in some distant past. You bear a grudge against the people who have made you feel bad about yourself - anyone will do. You take exception to any perceived attack on your self esteem. Perhaps you secretly believe that there is much to be aggrieved and angry about, but no one seems to understand. Trivial things annoy you excessively and you feel indignant about injustice. You feel jaundiced by life in general and peeved by stupid, irritating people. You feel put out about being ignored.
You would love express your resentment by being spiteful, unfriendly, ungenerous or vindictive, but perhaps you have personal standards of good behaviour so you suppress these feelings in the name of charity and forbearance. If you do not hold these rigid standards, then you probably tend to get into a rage from time to time where spite and vindictiveness surface and explode from within you. If not, then it takes very little to send you into a rage......
Whenever you are surrounded by animosity, bitterness and discontent this makes you unhappy and you resent feeling unhappy. You try to distance yourself from people of ill-will by suppressing all indignation, irritation, jealousy, malevolence and malice towards them and being “nice.’ You are often offended but say nothing and just suffer inwardly.
Reconciliation
If you can forgive yourself of the sin of simply being the person you are, then you can cease to feel resentment. You can pardon yourself for the rancour you feel when you think of your wasted life; you can remit what you owe to the people you have let down. You can acquit yourself of your imagined mistakes; clear yourself of blame; excuse your fond fantasies, for how else could you have kept alive your Dream for so long?
You can exonerate your self from self-imposed obligations. You can begin to indulge yourself and meet your emotional needs. You can feel pardoned for the things you did not do. You can excuse the way you have often taken on more than was your due. You can be spared the inner condemnation that you always feel; make allowances for the foolish things you have believed about yourself. You can overlook the minor blemishes on your character.
The reward for doing the difficult thing
Truly, the process of self-forgiveness is its own reward. As you forgive yourself, than you will be better at compassion to others. You will give in gracefully, be lenient to others when they make mistakes. You can become the forbearing person you always dreamed of being. You will be generous and understanding of yourself and others, as we all struggle on through life.
By deciding to use the power of forgiveness, you are allowing yourself to acknowledge your existing gifts. These are
This may seem like the final stage of healing, but in fact it is only the first stage in making a beginning - there is much, much more to come, but without this first stage completed, none of that can be yours.
To awaken from the Dream of the Womb requires that you become aware of what keeps you asleep. Even when you don’t realise it, you are constantly re enacting your dream. If you don’t know if you are awake or asleep then you cannot know when you have awakened. The awakening is the healing: it is as simple as that.
Letting go of the Dream, which has been your way of being for so long, will be very difficult indeed. waking up will be hard. To awaken and heal, you will have to always choose to do the most difficult thing. If it is very, very difficult, then you can know that you are trying to wake up.
THE PRACTICE OF SELF-FORGIVENESS - resentment into reconciliation
The Dream of the Womb is a treadmill or prison where there must never be change or growth. Self-forgiveness can change all that. The power of self-forgiveness can stop the treadmill and let you get off. It gets you from resentment to reconciliation.
Resentment
When you are lost in the Dream, you begrudge others their ability to drink the cup of life to the dregs. You feel bitter about the hurts and abuses against you in some distant past. You bear a grudge against the people who have made you feel bad about yourself - anyone will do. You take exception to any perceived attack on your self esteem. Perhaps you secretly believe that there is much to be aggrieved and angry about, but no one seems to understand. Trivial things annoy you excessively and you feel indignant about injustice. You feel jaundiced by life in general and peeved by stupid, irritating people. You feel put out about being ignored.
You would love express your resentment by being spiteful, unfriendly, ungenerous or vindictive, but perhaps you have personal standards of good behaviour so you suppress these feelings in the name of charity and forbearance. If you do not hold these rigid standards, then you probably tend to get into a rage from time to time where spite and vindictiveness surface and explode from within you. If not, then it takes very little to send you into a rage......
Whenever you are surrounded by animosity, bitterness and discontent this makes you unhappy and you resent feeling unhappy. You try to distance yourself from people of ill-will by suppressing all indignation, irritation, jealousy, malevolence and malice towards them and being “nice.’ You are often offended but say nothing and just suffer inwardly.
Reconciliation
If you can forgive yourself of the sin of simply being the person you are, then you can cease to feel resentment. You can pardon yourself for the rancour you feel when you think of your wasted life; you can remit what you owe to the people you have let down. You can acquit yourself of your imagined mistakes; clear yourself of blame; excuse your fond fantasies, for how else could you have kept alive your Dream for so long?
You can exonerate your self from self-imposed obligations. You can begin to indulge yourself and meet your emotional needs. You can feel pardoned for the things you did not do. You can excuse the way you have often taken on more than was your due. You can be spared the inner condemnation that you always feel; make allowances for the foolish things you have believed about yourself. You can overlook the minor blemishes on your character.
The reward for doing the difficult thing
Truly, the process of self-forgiveness is its own reward. As you forgive yourself, than you will be better at compassion to others. You will give in gracefully, be lenient to others when they make mistakes. You can become the forbearing person you always dreamed of being. You will be generous and understanding of yourself and others, as we all struggle on through life.
By deciding to use the power of forgiveness, you are allowing yourself to acknowledge your existing gifts. These are
- strength, potency, efficacy and stamina to get a job done;
- guts, fortitude and endurance to solve problems;
- forcefulness, assertiveness and aggression to fight wrong-doing;
- the ability to be constructive in thought and deed.
- vitality, cogency and adequacy
- The ability to take responsibility for your own life and your part in relationships.
This may seem like the final stage of healing, but in fact it is only the first stage in making a beginning - there is much, much more to come, but without this first stage completed, none of that can be yours.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
A healing path (1) my story
My story is well-known now. It's one of the free downloads on my web site and is also the epilogue of A Silent Cry, an anthology of stories written by womb twin survivors and published in their own words.:
But there is a little bit more to say about how the healing went for me.
1. Discovery. The first step has to be that moment of realisation. For me it was after some chiropractic treatment that revealed the bodily memory of birth trauma. I once wrote:
Once that trauma was healed (in 2002 it consisted mostly of muscular spasm in various parts of my body and could be relieved by chiropractic treatment) then a quieter message, to do with terror and death, became perceptible. I realised that I was conceived as a twin.
But there is a little bit more to say about how the healing went for me.
1. Discovery. The first step has to be that moment of realisation. For me it was after some chiropractic treatment that revealed the bodily memory of birth trauma. I once wrote:
Rubber doll
My story begins with a rubber doll I played with constantly as a child. “Rubber doll” was a naked, sexless baby doll with removable head and limbs. Every day, several times a day, I removed the head and one arm, and then pushed it all back together again. This doll was my friend and constant companion. I had no idea then that this constant breaking and mending was my way of trying to heal myself of birth trauma. There truly was, as a large breech-born baby, a moment when they pulled at my flailing limbs to remove me and I thought my head was coming off.
Once that trauma was healed (in 2002 it consisted mostly of muscular spasm in various parts of my body and could be relieved by chiropractic treatment) then a quieter message, to do with terror and death, became perceptible. I realised that I was conceived as a twin.
2. Making the twin real. I had to put the story together and make sure I was not creating a fantasy. I spent many hours exploring the internet and gleaned scraps of information here and there, but the real direction for my healing was, I realised, coming from within. I came to the conclusion that my twin was a brother and that he had been aborted, for no better reason than it fitted perfectly with what I seemed to feel deep inside. I took a course of dramatherapy in London with Claire Schrader and that enabled me to clarify the non-verbal signals that were within me into a real story.
3 Letting go. I held a funeral ritual for my twin, Ben, in that drama therapy room. It was one of the most significant experiences of my life.
4 Allowing. The next step was once of a kind of wait and see, being open kind of stage. I had never spoken to anyone about how womb twin survivors heal so I had to observe the process inside of me and see it as it developed. The next stage saw a breathtaking surge of energy and creativity, and all I had to do was to stop blocking it. Amazing!
5. Delivery. The result is the womb twin project, three books and more to come a web site and this blog. I now know that healing can happen and that pre-birth memories can be processed successfully.
Over the next 5 days I will provide some details and stories to illustrate these stages as they happen to womb twin survivors everywhere.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Womb twin day 2010 (21st December 2010)
Greetings to all womb twin survivors around the world on Womb Twin day. I hope that this day can be special for you, whatever stage you are at along the healing path.
If you are just awakening to the possibility that you, or someone dear to you, is a womb twin survivor, then I wish you well on the journey you have just begun, for once you have awakened to the idea, it will not leave you alone until you have processed it completely. Your first step on the healing path has already been taken. (Free stuff here to get you started)
If you have just set out on the healing path - and maybe have the ebook as a guide - than I hope you will explore the links on the web site so you can know as much as possible about what can happen when a co twin dies. There are dozens of possible scenarios and only one applies to you, so keep on learning more.
If you have been on the healing path for a while but are losing impetus, remember that you may be resisting healing. Here is a little movie to spur you on: view it here
If you are getting to the end of your healing path and its time to honour your twin's death by a funeral ritual or a ritual of remembrance, today may be a good day to do it. Chose earth, fire, air or water as your element, and conduct a burial, a burning, or a release into the air or onto water. I have been an assistant at many rituals of this kind and mixed with the sadness is a lightness and joy - if that is your choice, do let me know how you got on.
Lastly, if you have conducted your ritual and have said goodbye to your twin, (perhaps more than one if you are the survivor of a multiple conception) it may be good to create a memorial. We have our new memorial site and we welcome new memorials, so why not take a look? Details here.
I will be thinking of you on 21st. Please let us know what you did and I will put it on this blog.
I am always here, I answer emails as quickly as I can, and it's all free of charge. You can find articles, stories, movies and poetry on my Womb Twin Survivors web site.
The New Year 2011 will bring the publication of my new book, "Womb Twin Survivors ; the lost twin in the Dream of the Womb. " Details here.
I am very excited that this book is almost finished, after many years of researching it and nearly two years of writing it. I hope it will help many of you to heal this overlooked and profound primal wound, which we womb twin survivors all share, and which can be healed.
With best wishes for a peaceful and healing experience on Womb Twin Day.
Althea.
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Here are some words of encouragement for you on this special day, from other womb twin survivors who have made the journey:
We are celebrating the opportunity to spread out the joy and share the pain of our early begin as twins. Congratulations to you all!, and let's keep close to each other, because that’s so cozy, and it makes us strong and reassured! Claudia, Portugal.
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An important reminder to all the special Womb Twin Survivors this holiday season: The gift of a SELF is the best gift of all!
Healing from Womb Twin Loss, and becoming a SELF - who deserves to live and celebrate the rituals of living, is possible. Not only is this a gift you can give yourself, it's also the gift that keeps giving to those around you all year round!
I feel stronger this holiday than ever before, thanks to the miraculous healing work I've experienced this year, and can honestly say for the first time ever that I am not sad at my birthday & twin loss time of year. This is historically the worst black-hole time of year for me (as it is for many others) and so far I feel an abundance of love and strength where there once was fear, anxiety and desolation. I feel so at peace that I don't even know if I can call myself a "survivor" right now, I just want to BE. All is as it's meant to be...aaah!
Just saying that feels like I've collapsed on top of Mt. Everest in surrender and accomplishment! What a journey it's been. Stay on Althea's Healing Path...it works.
With gratitude to Althea Hayton for figuring this out and having the courage to put it out there.
Until we all get to our Mt. Everest moments, we must remember to be kind to ourselves and appreciate how special we are. (I wouldn't want to be any other way!)
Meanwhile, here's a quote from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow: "Know how sublime it is to suffer and be strong"
Best wishes to all for a New Year filled with strength and togetherness. Womb love, Monica, USA.
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Please persist--it is worth it! Being a womb twin allows us special experiences, and when brought to light, everything starts falling into place. I am somewhere in the middle of my journey, maybe just scratching the surface, but my life has changed more radically in the last 8 months than in the years and years of trying to understand what was "wrong." Thank you to my womb twins for giving me this life, and a super extra thank you to Althea for her incredible discoveries and dedication to helping all of us! Barbara, USA
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If you have any similar encouraging messages, feel free to add your comment - we are all in this together!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Are YOU a womb twin survivor? Would YOU choose healing?
Please remember that there is another little version of you who didn't make it. Half of you is wanting to die and be elsewhere ( your lost twin) the other half wants to be alive and engaged with things here ( that's you) .
You are split, torn in two. You are two people, one feeding, one starving; one thriving, one fading.
You are fighting with yourself and you will of course resist your healing every step of the way. You will even fight me as I offer you healing. It's the way you are made, with two opposing sides. Because of that trait in your character, it will all have to be done in your own way and your own time.
But the choice now is: You could resist, create difficulties and blocks, and spend even longer in hell, or you could rise up and get a grip, just because you feel like it.
What is your choice: to be or not to be?
That indeed IS the question!
You are split, torn in two. You are two people, one feeding, one starving; one thriving, one fading.
You are fighting with yourself and you will of course resist your healing every step of the way. You will even fight me as I offer you healing. It's the way you are made, with two opposing sides. Because of that trait in your character, it will all have to be done in your own way and your own time.
But the choice now is: You could resist, create difficulties and blocks, and spend even longer in hell, or you could rise up and get a grip, just because you feel like it.
What is your choice: to be or not to be?
That indeed IS the question!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
The Dublin workshop
Getting excited by this. I am preparing a new power point presentation with lots of new illustrations that I have made for the new book and they will do very well for this purpose.
Also a healing path workshop: for each individual to map out a healing path for themselves that will enable them to step out of the Black Hole and move forward in whatever way best suits them.
They sent me a press release. Here it is:
DUBLIN WORKSHOP
Also a healing path workshop: for each individual to map out a healing path for themselves that will enable them to step out of the Black Hole and move forward in whatever way best suits them.
They sent me a press release. Here it is:
DUBLIN WORKSHOP
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Healing for survivors of the "vanising twin" syndrome
Take a look here
Quote: Donna Kramolis, a healer using a variety of hands-on techniques, has recently become increasingly aware of the vanishing twin phenomenon, which happens when there are twins in a mother's womb and one of them is absorbed into the other so only one child is born. The unresolved emotional issues from this can leave survivors with a great sense of loss.
"The Vanishing Twin is a new item of interest in my life and I'll be using the new protocol to help people with the stress of being a survivor of that phenomenon or dilemma," Kramolis said.
(Its catching on......)
Quote: Donna Kramolis, a healer using a variety of hands-on techniques, has recently become increasingly aware of the vanishing twin phenomenon, which happens when there are twins in a mother's womb and one of them is absorbed into the other so only one child is born. The unresolved emotional issues from this can leave survivors with a great sense of loss.
"The Vanishing Twin is a new item of interest in my life and I'll be using the new protocol to help people with the stress of being a survivor of that phenomenon or dilemma," Kramolis said.
(Its catching on......)
Sunday, November 22, 2009
New Youtube movie : The black hole
Take a look at my new movie! Comments welcomed.
The Black Hole - a poem for womb twin survivors
The Black Hole - a poem for womb twin survivors
The black hole
The black hole is death and dissolution, entrophy and ecstatic union with emptiness.
The black hole is pain and terror and the darkness of non-being.
The black hole is power, essence, and the majesty of God-in-me
The black hole is energy and creativity centred into a split second of life giving.
The black hole is a teacher, to fear and yet live, to live and not to fear to die.
Come with me now into the black hole and you and I may come to rebirth.
Into the black hole: come!
I am calling you back to the place of origin!
Into the black hole; go!
I send you into the dark to find the light!
On the far side after the maelstrom there is power and purity, and the pain of absolute unselfish love.
On the far side, where we may stand, there is silver light and surrender to the infinite power of simply being.
And when the moment comes to let life go in all its richness, the black hole beckons us, with riches beyond our wildest dreams.
Let us not fear the black hole or attempt to understand-
Let us be open to the goodness and the power that can be ours if we give it way, let it go, and surrender to the breath of life that blows in gales from out of it.
Blown by the breath of God that pours from the black hole, we can live according to the will of the wind;
And in our last hours feel the suction draw us down into that place of origin and creation that is the place of dissolution and death.
Sink willingly into black hole! It is the cloud of unknowing, filled with ageless mystery : it is the gate to paradise.
If we wait in this holy space together and listen to the silent and mysterious loving power within;
Then truly we will have a taste of paradise this side of death.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Two weeks to go!
Click here to listen to my podcast about the Open Space conference.
DATE: Friday 30th October to Sunday November 1st 2009
VENUE: St Albans Girls School, Sandridgebury Lane, St Albans, Hertfordshire, AL3 6DB,
PRICE: Members £55, non-members £70
FRIDAY October 30th 7.30 - 9.30pm Public meeting
Open to all by free ticket only - please use booking form below to apply.
SATURDAY October 31st
9.30am–6pm OPEN SPACE EVENT ~
6-7 candelighting ceremony
7pm-10pm Three course buffet supper
SUNDAY November 1st 10- 2.0 pm
10-11am Annual General Meeting of Wombtwin.com Ltd
11-12.30 THE HEALING JOURNEY for wombtwin survivors
12.30 Sandwich lunch
2 pm Departures
Saturday, April 05, 2008
Constant, secret, seething resentment
Now this has come to light as "Resentment syndrome" : an interesting aspect of the Dream of the Womb and the need to keep that dream alive, for therein lies the lost twin. [ article here to maybe read later]
Resentment. That sense of some Great Wrong having been done to you.
Constant. That feeling that underlies every waking moment and some dreams as well.
Seething. Restless, always active, always moving, always seeking out a target.
Secret. Hidden, discrete, a little shameful but very real.
Anyone with resentment syndrome directs an incredible amount of energy towards the every day practice of feeling resentment:
resentment feels honourable because one must protect one's rights
resentment feels absolutely authentic because the feelings are so very real
what if:
What is something truly was taken; what if there was a life and death struggle? What if the weakest one did go to the wall? What if your life came at the cost of another life? What if survivor guilt is holding you back?
It seems to me that, for the survivor of an identical twin pair, resentment is probably the only way to express those feelings in born life.
Natural enough - but what a waste of good life energy. The healing is to let go of resentment and begin to live a fuller life. Forgiveness: that does it.
Resentment. That sense of some Great Wrong having been done to you.
Constant. That feeling that underlies every waking moment and some dreams as well.
Seething. Restless, always active, always moving, always seeking out a target.
Secret. Hidden, discrete, a little shameful but very real.
Anyone with resentment syndrome directs an incredible amount of energy towards the every day practice of feeling resentment:
- one can resent some past hurt or something taken away.
- one can resent the fact that something is unfair or unjust
- one can resent someone who just doesn't understand how you feel
- one can resent the fact that the world is made how it is, filled with pain and suffering
resentment feels honourable because one must protect one's rights
resentment feels absolutely authentic because the feelings are so very real
what if:
What is something truly was taken; what if there was a life and death struggle? What if the weakest one did go to the wall? What if your life came at the cost of another life? What if survivor guilt is holding you back?
It seems to me that, for the survivor of an identical twin pair, resentment is probably the only way to express those feelings in born life.
Natural enough - but what a waste of good life energy. The healing is to let go of resentment and begin to live a fuller life. Forgiveness: that does it.
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