Saturday, March 12, 2011

The narcissistic identical twin: (4) the cleverest person in the room

This is yet another aspect of DSM  definition
(2)  is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

Watching two MZ twins alive together, one takes the dominant Alpha part, the other the compliant Beta part. When one MZ twin dies the sole survivor takes over the life and role of the lost twin to keep the twin pair alive in fantasy.

But what if the Alpha twin survives (it is usually this way) but the Beta twin was not developing properly and never developed a proper brain? What then? What would there be in the mind of the survivor with which to rebuild that original scenario in fantasy?

In the Dream of the Womb, the Alpha twin was always the most dominant, clever, active and powerful. That was in the Dream and that is constantly re enacted in born life. This is the most obvious sign of narcissism - to insist on being the "cleverest person in the room". This means to dominate the conversation, to always insist on being right about everything, to  hate being corrected, have anyone argue with them or to be seen learning new ideas.  This neatly acts out the Alpha role of being the only person with a brain.

A fascinating effect of this is to leave the other person , however witty clever and well educated they may be, feeling like a brainless fool in the presence of the narcissistic person. They have " become the Beta twin" with no brain and no capacity to think or reply.  Once they leave the presence of the narcissistic person, all their Alpha energy returns and they think of all the brilliant reposts they could have made and wonder why it was so difficult to talk back when in the presence of the narcissistic person.

The sole survivor of an MZ pair where one was brainless, and who truly was once the cleverest person on the womb, lives out their Dream of the Womb by insisting on being the cleverest person in the room.

This is not intellectual arrogance but a survival mechanism - to be the brainless person would mean being the Beta twin and be overwhelmed by the Alpha twin and be  totally annihilated.  This is not just intelligent debate, this is life and death.

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