Healing (19) Dominance and Alpha power

Assumed submission
Self-esteem is the key to personal power. It is the value you place on yourself. If you are an Alpha wombtwin survivor and you have deliberately thrown away your Alpha power, then you may be stuck in a “beta” space where you are acting out the life of your Beta wombtwin rather than your own. (Plus lashings of shame at your weakness of character, to provide a much-needed vehicle for survivor guilt.) This is a kind of assumed submission.

In this case you will say you “suffer from low self esteem” but this is a self-inflicted wound. Evidence of your talents mounts daily and it is becoming increasingly clear that you are not using them. Why you are not using them is a mystery to you, but you feel powerless to begin. Your self esteem may be low because you have chosen to put a low value on yourself as a person; you are assuming, quite wrongly, that other people hardly notice you at all and generally speaking you feel powerless.

In truth you have as much power as anyone else. You just don’t want power: you have given it away.

Twin talk

Here are  babies talking - they seem to be the same age,  but Im not sure if they are twins - it does show how babies develop a language of communication long before they say words. It is quite clear here who is the dominant one !!!



Babies are much, much more aware of the world than we give them credit for.  They are not dumb little creatures, easily influenced by events,  they are tough little people with a mind of their own and acute powers of observation. And they remember events before birth, just for a while, but soon forget aged about 4 when school starts and there are other things to think about!

Yes I got distracted by various events today from the signs of the lost twin:-  I'll give you number 2 tomorrow - fat mums with fat tums, at only a few weeks pregnant.......

The narcissistic womb twin survivor (5) need for attention

What is narcissism? [see here for details]

Read more  here:

  

Probably the most characteristic sign of a narcissistic individual is the way they invariably end up being the centre of attention.  They have a subtle but highly effective way to capture the energy around them. They may do it the POSITIVE way, by being good, clever, gifted, talented, beautiful etc. Alternatively they may do it in a NEGATIVE way, by breaking rules/ boundaries, making a noise, causing trouble, having tantrums etc.

To relate this to being an identical twin survivor is quite simple: all you have to do is to examine how you feel when you are with them. If you are with  someone who always claims the centre stage, that puts  them in the No1 position while by default you are forced to adopt the No 2 position.

Here is a typical and often repeated example:a narsissistic individual attended one of my seminar/workshops. She was so dominant in the group that 10 other people listened in silence to her long story and complied with her wishes, which was to carry out a workshop on a different topic to the one suggested, with herself at the centre. I felt ignored and overlooked and as if I did not exist. Myself and the rest of the group were demoted to onlookers rather than active participants. This woman is an MZ womb twin survivor and she knows that. She had come to the worshop out of desperation, needing my help.

Here was her Beta self, of dependency and vulnerability, concealed behind her great skill and power to manipulate a group of people  into compliance with her wishes ( Alpha energy). The two energies worked together in her personality, Alpha and Beta, each with a different need: the Alpha demanded absolute power and the Beta was a Black Hole of neediness.

Only in the centre of  a supportive group could the healing proceed, for the MZ womb twin survivor does not know if he or she is in the land of the living or in the land of the dead. This doubt in her own existance in this world was clearly communicated to me, so that I ceased to exist and had no power or voice. I became her Beta twin and her Alpha could rule the roost for the next hour and a half.

The daily practice of dominating people, and from time to time giving them a severe case of existantial doubt, was this persons way to try and heal herself of the Alpha/Bete split in her psyche.  The life of a sole surviving MZ twin is not easy.

The narcissistic identical twin: (4) the cleverest person in the room

This is yet another aspect of DSM  definition
(2)  is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love


Watching two MZ twins alive together, one takes the dominant Alpha part, the other the compliant Beta part. When one MZ twin dies the sole survivor takes over the life and role of the lost twin to keep the twin pair alive in fantasy.


But what if the Alpha twin survives (it is usually this way) but the Beta twin was not developing properly and never developed a proper brain? What then? What would there be in the mind of the survivor with which to rebuild that original scenario in fantasy?


In the Dream of the Womb, the Alpha twin was always the most dominant, clever, active and powerful. That was in the Dream and that is constantly re enacted in born life. This is the most obvious sign of narcissism - to insist on being the "cleverest person in the room". This means to dominate the conversation, to always insist on being right about everything, to  hate being corrected, have anyone argue with them or to be seen learning new ideas.  This neatly acts out the Alpha role of being the only person with a brain.


A fascinating effect of this is to leave the other person , however witty clever and well educated they may be, feeling like a brainless fool in the presence of the narcissistic person. They have " become the Beta twin" with no brain and no capacity to think or reply.  Once they leave the presence of the narcissistic person, all their Alpha energy returns and they think of all the brilliant reposts they could have made and wonder why it was so difficult to talk back when in the presence of the narcissistic person.


The sole survivor of an MZ pair where one was brainless, and who truly was once the cleverest person on the womb, lives out their Dream of the Womb by insisting on being the cleverest person in the room.


This is not intellectual arrogance but a survival mechanism - to be the brainless person would mean being the Beta twin and be overwhelmed by the Alpha twin and be  totally annihilated.  This is not just intelligent debate, this is life and death.