Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Being a womb twin survivor (4) The death of hope?

Yesterday I spoke to a friend with Bi Polar disorder. We have been discussing the possibility that she is a womb twin survivor and I am about to send her a copy of my new book "Womb Twin Survivors" to help her make up her mind about that.

But one thing she said has remained with me : "I sometimes wish I could just lie down and die." She was at pains to let me know that she had no intention of killing herself, she just wanted to see an end to the suffering she experiences, over and over again, each time she plunges into despair.

In her good moods she is intelligent, determined, coherent, kind, loving and  in every way a wonderful person, but that can change in a moment, to render her inert, helpless, incoherent and held captive in a kind of  soul paralysis.

The switch from Alpha to Beta energy is very clear in her case.

I have been wondering about the pre-birth experience of being in company with the dead body of your twin - quite a different experience from witnessing a miscarriage, when the other fetus is expelled completely, leaving you alone. After so much activity, this is truly the death of hope.

It seems that  a womb twin survivor identifies with their lost twin, particularly if the twin is monozygotic, truly the other half of ones self. If after an initial period of strong but chaotic activity by one's other half - a monozygotic twin - the other twin then dies, then that womb  scenario would be repeated endlessly in a cycle of  chaotic  activity and inertness.  Yet in the end death is the result, or was, for the lost twin, in the womb.

Is this why so many womb twin survivors  consider suicide in their lives? My research revealed that 40% of the respondents had considered suicide more than once in their lives  ( That does not include me, as I only considered suicide once, in the months after my family broke up in 1966.)

Once the 1200  completed questionnaires are entered and made ready for statistical analysis, ( I have a wonderful volunteer working in this right now!!) We may see some interesting new results. Dr Victoria Bourne [see her web site here] will carry out the analysis.

Together we will present the results at the conference. [Download conference brochure here]

Then we will have some amazing new ideas to reveal to an astonished world!

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