Saturday, December 03, 2011

A healing path (6) Towards making a memorial

Towards making a memorial ritual

As time goes on and you get better and better acquainted with your womb twin, then you may begin to associate some object or substance with him or her.  I have found that an item of clothing does well, such as scarf or shirt. A scarf is particularly good, as  you can wear it  around your neck until you get to like the warmth and closeness of it to you.
Alternatively it may be a book, a letter, a plant or a stone. Anything will do.  If at the moment this all means nothing to you it is because you are not ready. Just hold the idea in mind for a while and one day, quite suddenly, you will know what to do next.

The ritual

The timing
The correct time to let go is extraordinarily precise.  My own story reveals that the entire womb twin work can be done in "real time." That is, the first  step of the womb twin work can be taken about three months or less before the ritual of letting go. In my own case,  I happened to do my own ritual of letting go on a date that may well have been the anniversary of my own wombtwin's death, but it was a year later when I worked this out! There is more going on in your unconscious mind than you can possibly know, and all this is so deep-seated that it is important to trust your intuition absolutely. You will get a strange feeling that the time is NOW.  Believe me, you will know when the time is right. Don't let anyone force you into anything you are not ready for.


Other people may be around when you do the ritual. You may, like me, do it as part of a group activity. However the fact remains that regardless of who else is there you must do this alone. The whole point of letting go is so you can get used to living your own life alone and complete without your womb twin.  So if there are people around, then feel good about claiming space just for yourself to do things the way you want.


The way you plan this may reflect your own womb twin scenario. If there was a gradual fading away, then you may plan a series of rituals over a long period.  If your womb twin was lost quite suddenly then you may go for a "clean break." Planning is important. While you are doing it the ritual has already begun, so you are into a sacred time, when everything will have a depth of meaning that is far above the usual.  New ideas and depths will suggest themselves to you almost every day, and gradually you will piece together an action or series of actions that will express what you want to say.

The ritual
The womb twin ritual is done in a kind of altered state of consciousness, where you are tuning into such a deep part of your soul that you may not realise the meaning of what you are doing until long afterwards.  It is important to make plenty of space where the "spell" will not be broken.  Alone by the sea or in a forest, away from the eyes of others,  you will be able to do whatever comes. The transitional object will be very important as a vehicle for your feelings. As you let go of the object in some way,  then you will be saying good bye.  Loud laughter, angry outbursts,  weeping and dancing are all likely to happen, so be ready for anything!

After the ritual you may feel stunned, and then go into a state of rapid psychic change, so take it very easy.  If clearing out, throwing away, handing over or cleaning activities seem to be the next thing to do, then go with the instinct, for this may be part of the healing.  If you decide to change something in the way you dress or how you do your hair, then go with it.  If you want to celebrate with others, or go on a retreat for a while, then do it.  If you want to go on a diet, give up smoking or start running, then do it. The psychic space is now all yours. The power is yours.  Your life is yours.

Then you are ready for the next stage, when you will be able to review your whole life up to this point in a completely new way.  It may take a little time, but it will happen.

If you are a Christian and wish to say a prayer as you remember your womb twin,  or join with others in a womb twin memorial service, this book may help. [See more here]

See the Womb Twin online memorials page here.

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