Monday, December 05, 2011

A healing path (7) New beginnings

After the ritual is over you will feel a sense of awakening and new life, which may take a few months to come to your awareness.  My own experience was that, almost at once in 2002 I plunged into the womb twin research project, and within four years I had created the first Womb Twin book, Untwinned. 

Within ten years I had created the Womb Twin organisation and published four more books.  I look back now and wonder how I had lived for so over fifty years achieving almost nothing!

But it is not always so clear-cut. There may be  more work to do.  There are three reasons why the awakening may not come.

1. The Dream of the Womb is not yet clearly recreated.

If major changes do not come, or do not last, or seem less profound than they should be, there may be more in the Dream than you thought. This story illustrates what can happen.

Rita's story
My identical twin sister was stillborn.  A few months after finding this web site I felt ready to make a memorial, and I did that.  It was beautiful.  I planted a lovely rose tree, because I had called her Rose. My  parents had never given her a name.  I felt very sad for a long time after that, but kind of relieved.  But gradually I knew there was something more to discover.  One day it just came to me, like an absolute truth: I had a twin brother, who started off well but couldn't stay.  Once I realised that, I knew this was why my relationships with males never worked - they always left me alone and crying.  I had another ritual to do one day, but not yet.......
2. There is more in the Dream

In the new beginnings, the softer voices that lie in the Dream may be heard more easily.  It is possible that there were significant events in your mother's pregnancy that you may now experience as part of your Dream of the Womb.  After her ritual for her womb twin brother Simon, Sandra began to realise that the death of her grandmother, when her mother was five months pregnant with her, had made a deep impression on her as a fetus, and that explained why Sandra loved to go to her grandmother's grave and found it so comforting.  Only once a vague prenatal experience has been given some means of expression and understanding, can you begin to awaken fully to your new life.

3. Resistance to healing

The awakening may be delayed deliberately,  despite your own efforts and that of your therapist family or friends, to help you to move on.  You may be stuck.  What blocks healing more than anything are the blocks you create out of your own negativity.
I have a problem with letting people go out of my life.  I hate when things end, and I always miss people.  So usually when someone leaves my life it was their choice.  I would have thought that I would have more people who are a part of my life, but I guess not everyone wants to stay a part of my life.  It’s not a big deal, I’m content with the people who I see and talk to.  
I’ve just noticed that lately people have been popping back into my life.  There are some people who I realized recently are more hurtful to have around than they are to make me happy.  Why have someone in your life if they don’t make you happy?  I haven’t come right out and told someone to leave and not talk to me anymore.  I thought the subtle thing would be to just stop talking, but they keep calling.  I wonder if maybe I should just tell them the reasons why I don’t want them to be a part of my life.  What they have done in the past to hurt me, and why they aren’t worth my time anymore. 
It seems so mean, but I think it’s better than having someone calling me for months when I don’t return the call.  I guess they just don’t know, so maybe it would be better if I was honest and just told them.  Maybe they have a reason for what has happened, although, I can’t imagine what.  
It sounds kind of silly, but I don’t know how to end a friendship. It makes me sad to think that we will never see or talk to each other again.  When things just end, it always has the possiblity of trying the friendship again something in the future.  I just wish I knew the right thing to do.
In this case the right thing is to let go and let things be as they may.  To stop trying to control life, other people and events. We will find out tomorrow how you could manage to do that.

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