Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Womb Twin story - she feels like a fraud

I'm a 33 yr old recovering alcoholic female. I have always felt lost and even at my happiest I have felt like a fraud. I'm more of a man than most the men I date.

I grew up on a farm with a no nonsense father so I always have contributed my tomboyish way/mentality to that. I am however very heterosexual and love the companionship of a man to a fault.

I feel guilty most days in most moments and have been grieving everything my whole life.

Believe it or not, I have made great changes in my life of the past 5 yrs of sobriety. People now see me as a positive, fun, free spirit of a person and I find great joy in that.

I have been a seeker of healing most of my life and in the last 5 yrs have been very open to any and all channels of spiritual, mental and physical growth.

I recently saw a holistic/alternative chiropractor that told me I had a vanishing twin. He explained that is why I have struggled with abandonment issues my whole living life even though I have no history of being abandoned.

I talked to my mother about this and she told me that until her 5th month of pregnancy, she was told I was possibly twins because she gained so much weight in the beginning. She only gained 3-5 lbs in the last 3 months of here pregnancy and when she went for a check up in the beginning November she was told I was fully developed but the would wait and see when I decided to come.

Her due date for me was Dec 18th, I was born on the 19th. Almost 10 lbs with a full head of hair, beautiful coloring, eyelashes and thick nails.

I have always joked that I didn't want to come into this world, that is why I was a 'month' late. I didn't know that I was possibly a surviving twin and to be honest, I'm having a bit of a hard time with it. It explains so much, but I have no idea what to do now.

Personal support online or by Skype is available for womb twin survivors

1 comment:

  1. This is exactly what happened with my oldest son, who I have always felt had a twin who vanished without a trace. I had a very rough pregnancy, hyperemesis gravidarum which is the excessive vomiting like Duchess Kate has, a lot of weight gain in the beginning. My due date was March 5 (I had an ultrasound) and he was born April 6. He was a forceps baby because he was "stuck". He had dyslexia and is left-handed. They did not tell me about the missing twin in the beginning because they still didn't know very much about it at that time (1979) but a lot of things point to it.