Sandy: an anorexic wombtwin survivor?

Sandy is married to a man who, when he found out what was wrong, gave her his loving reassurance that he would always be there for her. She has not been able to work for 5 years so he has paid all the bills for her treatment and therapy. For five years she has been suffering from anorexia, and he has spent a lot of money on her.

Today she said: "I am so angry with men, they are so insensitive. I have been in recovery for the last five years. I do OK most days but my head's still a mess. Now I am just over 100 lbs and I say something about switching back to this old therapist of mine who was easier to deal with but not covered by my insurance. Then he says, "Do you really need to keep going? It's not like you are too thin anymore?" Well, that sounded like I was a fat pig who was not worth the money. I know this man loves me and is just stressed about money but I am sitting here debating fasting for at least 30 days if not more...but it would be to punish him and myself too, obviously."

For five years Sandy has knowingly starved herself and weakened herself to the extent that she is exploiting her husband and draining him dry, of both money and patience. She is stretching the relationship about as far as it can go, for if he shows any signs that he is going back on his promise to pay for her treatment, she will punish him by starving. That will put him on a guilt trip and make him feel responsible for keeping her alive.

Now what if Sandy is a wombtwin survivor? What if this is her Dream of the Womb? Has she become her own Beta twin, starving to death because there is insufficient food available for her? What if there was a male twin in the womb who died and she survived?

To see the truth we need to turn this story upside down: Sandy was the one who got all the food in the womb, and drained her twin brother of sufficient nutrients to survive. She is the strong survivor, able to survive on very little herself (as many wombtwin survivors are) and prepared to risk everything in this relationship. One day she may be left alone, abandoned by the male who was once her intimate companion. Surely she is re-enacting her Dream of the Womb. If she is, then all this would be a perfectly normal response, for quite obviously Sandy has no idea so far that she is a wombtwin survivor. She must therefore continually relive the life and death of her wombtwin, for as we now know, nothing - not loving relationships or even life itself - is more important than that.