Healing (14) A problem with food and eating

Something is missing: is it in the fridge? Wombtwin survivors have a vague but prevailing feeling that something is missing. The person has no idea what this is. It may seem to be lost, in which case one must search for it, it may seem to be simply lacking, in which case it must be compensated for.

The desire to compensate for this vague, missing presence becomes translated into a variety of irrational and unaccountable behaviours. A good example is addiction to food. A person experiences a sense of something missing which feels a bit like hunger or emptiness. In an attempt to heal this, they eat. Eating does not fill the emptiness, because it never had anything to do with food. Its just that the empty feeling is very similar to hunger and is easily confused with it.

Sandy: an anorexic wombtwin survivor?

Sandy is married to a man who, when he found out what was wrong, gave her his loving reassurance that he would always be there for her. She has not been able to work for 5 years so he has paid all the bills for her treatment and therapy. For five years she has been suffering from anorexia, and he has spent a lot of money on her.

Today she said: "I am so angry with men, they are so insensitive. I have been in recovery for the last five years. I do OK most days but my head's still a mess. Now I am just over 100 lbs and I say something about switching back to this old therapist of mine who was easier to deal with but not covered by my insurance. Then he says, "Do you really need to keep going? It's not like you are too thin anymore?" Well, that sounded like I was a fat pig who was not worth the money. I know this man loves me and is just stressed about money but I am sitting here debating fasting for at least 30 days if not more...but it would be to punish him and myself too, obviously."

For five years Sandy has knowingly starved herself and weakened herself to the extent that she is exploiting her husband and draining him dry, of both money and patience. She is stretching the relationship about as far as it can go, for if he shows any signs that he is going back on his promise to pay for her treatment, she will punish him by starving. That will put him on a guilt trip and make him feel responsible for keeping her alive.

Now what if Sandy is a wombtwin survivor? What if this is her Dream of the Womb? Has she become her own Beta twin, starving to death because there is insufficient food available for her? What if there was a male twin in the womb who died and she survived?

To see the truth we need to turn this story upside down: Sandy was the one who got all the food in the womb, and drained her twin brother of sufficient nutrients to survive. She is the strong survivor, able to survive on very little herself (as many wombtwin survivors are) and prepared to risk everything in this relationship. One day she may be left alone, abandoned by the male who was once her intimate companion. Surely she is re-enacting her Dream of the Womb. If she is, then all this would be a perfectly normal response, for quite obviously Sandy has no idea so far that she is a wombtwin survivor. She must therefore continually relive the life and death of her wombtwin, for as we now know, nothing - not loving relationships or even life itself - is more important than that.

Addiction to food? Is it real?

To discuss this issue I have created a separate blog. Click here to view.

Obesity is a careless choice made by wombtwin survivors?

Diet is a personal choice. People who are allergic to certain foods, if they are sensible, will live their whole lives without eating them at all in order to remain healthy. Food allergy and intolerance symptoms such as fluid retention are therefore a matter of choice because the choice is there not to eat these foods. Obesity is also a personal choice because it is a consequence of a diet that is not sensible. People who don't think about the consequences of their diet get fat or suffer some other kind of malnutrition. Obese people who are poor eat more than they can afford, but they don't care about the expense, they just eat. They could save money with a smaller food intake. In every income bracket there are obese people who just eat and eat without thinking. You can go on and on about healthy eating but the obese wont listen - for some reason, deep down, they need to be fat. They are addicted to food. I think it's about death - or at least not wanting to be alive and not caring if they die young.

I think that the morbidly obese are wombtwin survivors. It goes this way:

In the womb they shared food unequally with their twin because the two placentas were in some way not equally placed for each to get to get the maximum benefit, and one twin faded away, dying slowly of malnutrition.

As they re-enact their Dream of the Womb in born life, the morbidly obese share their food unequally and with great shame (ie they are greedy and often eat in secret) and very gradually they die of malnutrition, even while they are eating loads and loads of food.

This is slow suicide:- self-harming dietary choices, made by people who do not care if they live or die.

Now there's a wombtwin survivor for you! If you don't really want to be here and you would prefer to be dead, along with your twin, then why not create a lifestyle that makes sure you die young, just like your twin?

If you are reading this and you are obese, do contact me. I have some ideas that will give you back your life and a renewed desire to live it to the full.