Tales for the journey: The coat - (self reliance)

It was a large warm coat that wrapped me in its folds, and within which I felt safe.  It was given me by my mother, who said nothing about it to me at the time, but I came to understand that it would keep me warm against the cold winds that often blew, and so I wore it always.  There were pockets on the outside, and also secret pockets in the inside. In fact there were so many pockets that I sometimes couldn’t find what I wanted unless I searched very hard and for a long time.

In the beginning it was smooth and soft.  It blew in the wind and fresh air wafted around me within the folds.  I soon found the pockets useful. They were large and there was room for all kinds of treasure in them.  I went about collecting treasures, and hid them in my pockets until they were all filled.  People saw me in the coat and said “Look how she is growing!” and I stood tall and proud of being big, but in my secret heart I knew that I was much smaller than my coat.

When I wanted a comb, there was a comb in my pocket, ready for use.  When I wanted some bread, sure enough, there was bread.  It was good to know that I was never in want, that everything I wanted was there, in my coat.

The high testosterone female

When a women has high levels of testosterone, she is likely to experience some characteristic symptoms, according to the experts,  but obesity does not seem to be often mentioned.

On this site for example they mention:,

• Increased Hair Growth:
• Male Pattern Baldness:
• Deepening of the Voice:
• Skin Problems: excessive oiliness and acne.

But obesity creeps in by the back door, as it were in the form of " insulin resistance": More serious symptoms of high testosterone in women are the major health risks that can occur. High testosterone levels have been linked to insulin resistance, a condition that interferes with the body's ability to regulate blood sugar levels. Insulin resistance can cause adult-onset diabetes, and can increase a woman's risk of heart disease as well as cancer of the breast and uterine lining.

Insulin resistance is known to be a major cause of weight gain. Strange how they missed that...... Again, as with the obese males I mentioned yesterday, when we see pictures of obese women who lose weight, it clearly looks as if they have reclaimed their femininity:

The high oestrogen male

When a man is over weight, he has soft contours, a rounded stomach and his muscles are not visible. He seems to be feminised.

If he loses weight he then reclaims his male energy and his masculine, muscular frame is now visible. He is now fully male.

You would think that the journey to reclaim  your own natural masculinity would be an easy one, but it is not.   I suggest that the high oestrogen male has extra oestrogens because he is a womb twin survivor who once had a sister and the connected placentas allowed the transfer of oestrogen into his body.  The oestrogen is part of him but does not naturally belong to him.  It was given by his sister.

To let go of the extra weight that is the physical manifestation of that female energy (the only residue of his lost twin in fact) is very painful and hard: see this video for a glimpse into that pain....

Womb twin survivors misdiagnosed: (3) "Obsessive-compulsive" disorder

On the womb twin forum recently there has been a thread about obsessive thoughts about a lost twin - was there a twin or not?   To obsess about anything - some small detail perhaps, or death, or  needing to feel safe or extremely clean - is probably best described as a preoccupation rather than as an obsession.
To obsess is to dominate or preoccupy the houghts, feelings, or desires of (a person); beset, trouble, or haunt persistently or abnormally.
Many years ago, when I began this project, I was accused by a dear friend of being in the grip of a "compulsion" to do this work.    I was hurt at the time by such a profound degree of misunderstanding of my own behaviour and motives, but after a while I began to understand that this said more about the person saying it than me.
A compulsion  is a strong, usually irresistible impulse to perform an act, especially one that is irrational or contrary to one's will.
Both concepts appear to concern the action of some external force upon the will of an individual. To believe that anything can act as some kind of external force  upon the will of an individual is to deny the possibility of choice.

A choice is an act of the will. It may be influenced by such things as coercion or threat, but ultimately is is a choice.  If you feel you have no choice, you are assuming you have no autonomy and possibly no brain of your own capable of independent action.

I believe that womb twin survivors fall into obsessions and compulsions as an expression of a deep sense of failure to have autonomy or control.  I believe that this is yet another example of keeping  alive ones lost beta twin, and in this case the beta twin had no autonomy, no capacity for independent action because he or she never developed a fully functioning brain.

Observe any compulsion on the TV: the shows about obesity (compulsive eating) hoarding, spending, gambling, alcholism,  drug addiction, compulsive caring, self harming, internet porn addiction,  etc etc. The story is always the same: an individual is out of control and heading for the 4D's - disaster, debt, divorce and death.
How to help?  To make progress, the obsessive-compulsive individual requires two opposing energies to be at work:

• Someone to give them intelligent advice (while inwardly they feel patronised and infantilised)
• Someone to take control (while inwardly they feel their personal privacy is being invaded)
• Someone to provide incentives, praise, encouragement (while inwardly they are resisting personal growth with every ounce of their extremely strong will - their Alpha energy.)

The truth of their Alpha energy is in their resistance to change. Obsessive-compulsive behaviour is a brilliant method of using the power of one's will to resist any attempt by another individual to bring about behavioral change in the longer term.  Its a neat way to stay in the Beta space - weak, helpless and beset by forces beyond one's control.  It is a choice.  A stupid, self-sabotaging choice, but a choice nonetheless.

I believe that the best way to help someone with the so called " obsessive-compulsive disorder"  is to discuss the possible reasons why someone would willingly make a series of stupid, self defeating choices.  One reason could be clarified very quickly with a single question :  "Is it possible that you are a womb twin survivor?" 

[Read my new book for more about this]
 

Obesity and womb twin survivors

I have often thought that food addiction is linked to being a womb twin survivor.  In fact I found food addiction first,  in 1987, and when I began to explore the psychology behind my food addiction I found my own womb twin many years later in 2002.

I  watched the Tv show "Too fat for fifteen" and heard Georgia Davis describe herself as a food addict, and how her  addiction began with the death of her father when she was 5 - which she has never recovered from -.



She went to a US fat camp and lost half her body weight, and appeared on TV transformed and beautiful. She was absolutely determined to lose weight and stuck at it with enormous strength of character. A great girl!!



Now the weight is coming back, because this " treatment" didnt get to the root of the problem.


Georgia Davis weighs 28 stone
She left her home in Aberdare, south Wales, for North Carolina in the USA to attend the £3,600-a-month Wellspring Academy and managed to slim down to 18st.
But now she is back to 28st and has pleaded for help after claiming that her weight gain is “out of control”.
“Please help me, someone,” she told The Sun. “I know this is my fault but it’s out of control.
“It was my choice to return to my family and not continue my treatment in the US. But now I know it was like putting a heroin addict back in a chemist shop.”
Since returning to the UK in June last year she has been caring for her 55-year-old mother, Lesley, who suffers from a heart condition, and her 70-year-old father, Arthur, who has lung cancer.
“I knew it was going to be hard when I came back but it was a lot harder than I ever imagined.
“Eating in the US was in a controlled environment and everything was put on a plate for me.
“Around eight weeks after returning from camp I drifted off the plan. I felt really alone. My parents weren’t doing it with me at home and my friends weren’t doing it at college so there was no motivation to continue.”
The teenager said that her local health authority had not done enough to help her, adding: “I know I have no one to blame except myself but I don’t know how to change things. I would really like some help.
“My addiction to food is no different to drugs or alcohol. Those people get help from the NHS.”
John Gordon, a spokesman for Wellspring said the academy would welcome her back if she decided to return.

Addiction to food is being totally ignored by the health authorities because they dont understand it. I believe that by studying the psychological effects of losing your co twin before birth we may find some answers.

See my  food addiction blog for more.

Obesity is a careless choice made by wombtwin survivors?

Diet is a personal choice. People who are allergic to certain foods, if they are sensible, will live their whole lives without eating them at all in order to remain healthy. Food allergy and intolerance symptoms such as fluid retention are therefore a matter of choice because the choice is there not to eat these foods. Obesity is also a personal choice because it is a consequence of a diet that is not sensible. People who don't think about the consequences of their diet get fat or suffer some other kind of malnutrition. Obese people who are poor eat more than they can afford, but they don't care about the expense, they just eat. They could save money with a smaller food intake. In every income bracket there are obese people who just eat and eat without thinking. You can go on and on about healthy eating but the obese wont listen - for some reason, deep down, they need to be fat. They are addicted to food. I think it's about death - or at least not wanting to be alive and not caring if they die young.

I think that the morbidly obese are wombtwin survivors. It goes this way:

In the womb they shared food unequally with their twin because the two placentas were in some way not equally placed for each to get to get the maximum benefit, and one twin faded away, dying slowly of malnutrition.

As they re-enact their Dream of the Womb in born life, the morbidly obese share their food unequally and with great shame (ie they are greedy and often eat in secret) and very gradually they die of malnutrition, even while they are eating loads and loads of food.

This is slow suicide:- self-harming dietary choices, made by people who do not care if they live or die.

Now there's a wombtwin survivor for you! If you don't really want to be here and you would prefer to be dead, along with your twin, then why not create a lifestyle that makes sure you die young, just like your twin?

If you are reading this and you are obese, do contact me. I have some ideas that will give you back your life and a renewed desire to live it to the full.