(From the questionnaire)
I haven't yet spoken to my mother about this so I don't know the answers to the questions about her pregnancy or the birth. I don't think the ultrasound technology was used much when I was in utero. I have always felt (since I can remember) that I am a twin.
I always craved a twin, wished I was a twin. I am fascinated by twins. I have always felt as though part of me is missing and that I'm constantly searching for something or someone - a soulmate- but never satisfied and never finding.
I try to be happy in the present and enjoy the life I have, but nothing seems to help. Only talking to a friend yesterday about this, she mentioned vanishing twins. The realisation dawned that this is quite likely what I'm experiencing. W hile I am somewhat relieved, it is probably now causing me more grief because I know I can never meet this person. I can never fully resolve my need.
When a twin dies before birth, the sole survivor needs help and understanding. Womb twin survivors are the sole survivors of a twin or multiple pregnancy. This group, 1 in 10 of the population, includes survivors of a stillbirth, miscarriage, abortion and a "vanishing twin" pregnancy. It is a story of a twin bond broken by death, leaving a lonely survivor.
So sorry for what you're going through. You might find some comfort in the knowledge that your twin is all around you, and you are picking up on that. Hence the craving for a twin, the fascination with twins, etc. You realize deep down that somebody extremely important is missing. Maybe you can't meet your sister or brother in the flesh during this lifetime, but you can still have a relationship. Acknowledge his/her presence when possible(when you're by yourself) and have a little chat. It may sound crazy, but it really helps. Your twin wants to be around you! When you finally depart this life, you and your twin will have a beautiful reunion. Since you're apparently new to all this, do as much research as you can, read any books you can find on the subject. It will really shed light on what you're feeling and little by little, it will make more sense to you. Sending best wishes for peace and happiness.
ReplyDeleteI feel like you took the words right out of my mouth, I can completely relate. Thank you for sharing your story, and good luck.
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