When a twin dies before birth, the sole survivor needs help and understanding. Womb twin survivors are the sole survivors of a twin or multiple pregnancy. This group, 1 in 10 of the population, includes survivors of a stillbirth, miscarriage, abortion and a "vanishing twin" pregnancy. It is a story of a twin bond broken by death, leaving a lonely survivor.
Thursday, April 05, 2012
Womb twin story: my mom kept my twin a secret
I am an 18-year old man and I just found out my Mum is pregnant with her third child. When we were talking today about how impossible this is (She's in her early 40's!) In the talk she wondered whether or not she should tell me some secret and then decided not to, but I kept pushing until she did.
She said that I was a twin, but the twin had died a week before I was born. She also said she went to he doctors when she felt something was wrong and they couldn't find anything, it wasn't until I was born that everyone found out. At first I started laughing (it's my reaction to sad news somehow) I then got very upset, knowing that when I was a kid I had a lot of trouble (still do) making new friends.
I was always treated badly as a kid by other kids always made fun of, maybe because I wear a turban. But I knew that from the first day I could remember I had this imaginary friend. I still have this voice inside my head which sounds just like me but feels strange.
My mom also told me that when I was a kid I always use to beg for a twin and or a brother (my twin was a brother and I was 2 seconds older) I don't really know how to explain this but I feel empty at times, alone in this world, and that there's something missing in my life.
I always felt like I had a twin because every time I watched any show on TV about those twin powers or something similar, I found out that I could guess a lot of things that just turned out to be "lucky" guesses. I know I sound crazy but.... I really wish I could do something to change this feeling inside... My mom also said that they could have taken the babies (us) out earlier and maybe saved all 3 of us. She said that they got lucky that my mom and I made it through the operation.
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This sounds a lot like me: feeling empty, having imaginary friend, trouble with making friends...also the psychic abilities. I saw a documentary on a girl who lost her twin brother at birth but he was still around her. That's because there is a sort of "doorway" that is open to the other side where our twins are, where the communication and energy flows in and out.
ReplyDeleteThe explanation describing you and your feelings could've been me that wrote it. I often feel the exact same way you described. Especially when it comes to hearing this voice in your head but it's strange and you know it's not your own. That happens to me all the time. I believe we still have a pyschic connection with our twins, and so maybe that has something to do with it. I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother, but know there is a whole community of survivors that don't think you're crazy and want to support you.
ReplyDeleteMy story is similar in some ways. I didn't find out I was a twin until I was 31. My older brother knew about it and told me. By then my parents were both dead, so I cannot get any information about what happened to my twin. It's a pity you didn't find out until you were 18, but it's good that you can talk to your mother about it. I always felt that something was missing from my life, but I couldn't understand what it was. Simply realising that it was my twin helped the feeling to go away. Now you know about your twin, I expect you will be able to overcome the difficult feelings. I hope it goes well for you.
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